Hey everybody, you might know me from my other two stories Hit The Wall and Anyone But You but if not, then welcome to a whole new story. For those of you who are wondering about finishing out my trilogy, I am working on it. But this idea came to me and it's not leaving me alone. Now I wrote this whole chapter in like half an hour and then came back later to re-read it and I just can't believe how much I like it. So I hope you like it to. Please read and review. Thanks a bunch!
Disclaimer: I do not own instant star, though I wish I did. :)
This is a story about what happens if Jude left Toronto to. She doesn't know what she's doing, she's hurt, angry and going just a little crazy. What happens when Tommy comes back to find his girl gone and no one knows where she's gone? Will they get their happily ever after? Hmmm I wonder...
Have you ever heard the saying 'when it rains, it pours'? Well if you haven't, it basically means that if something bad is happening, many bad things will happen at once. But not even I could have predicted the amount of trouble I was going to be in.
Now I could sit here, on this Greyhound and tell you that Tommy is the person to blame for all my problems. If he hadn't left, I never would have left my CD release party to drive a hundred miles to be with Mason. I also wouldn't have drank to the point of oblivion and let myself fall into the hands of a pervert and blackmailer. But it wasn't his fault. He'd never made any promises to me. It was my own damn heart that had gotten its hopes up. I let myself believe that this time it would be different. That he wouldn't hand me the world and then pull the rug out from under me. But some things will never change; and Tom Quincy is one of them.
Darius had been furious when I'd come back but then he'd gone from furious to ecstatic. My song was at number one. My album was well on its way and we were finally going places. I was on my way. He'd sent me home to get some much needed sleep and to take a couple days off. We had a tour to plan and he had a producer to locate. Seems he also had no clue where Little Tommy Q. had run off to.
So for three days I stayed away from G Major. I barely left my room. My dad wasn't home, he may have bought the house and said we were going to be a family again but the reality was he spent more time with Yvette then he did at home. Oh and don't let me get started on Sadie. She worked a full week at G Major and she was going to school. So we maybe saw each other in passing. Which was fine. I had so many thoughts running in my head that I needed to be alone.
I locked myself away in my room with my guitar and my new journal, my birthday present from Tommy. But I couldn't even produce a line, a hook, a damn chorus. It's like all the creativity that I had, had vanished along with him. He had not only taken my heart when he left, he took my ability to be Jude Harrison, singer/songwriter extraordinaire.
So I dreaded walking into G Major the next morning. I knew Darius was going to be mad when I told him that I think I needed a longer break. When Sadie walked out of Liam's office and stopped to stare at me in shock, I knew I should have showered and changed my clothes before meeting Darius. I just couldn't find the energy to care about my appearance anymore.
When she grabbed my arm and drug me into the ladies room, I knew I was in for a lecture. "Jude what are you doing looking like that?" She asked turning on the water in the sink.
I looked into the mirror and couldn't believe that I looked so pathetic. My hair was beyond greasy and limp. It didn't even look like real hair anymore; and my eyes, I had dark circles under my eyes. Now I'm not talking the circles you see after missing a night sleep, I'm talking raccoon eyes. I looked like I had two days worth of eyeliner and mascara under my eyes. I looked scary.
"Have you even changed your clothes since Monday?" she asked running her hands through my hair. I watched her grimace when my hair just stayed where it was.
I closed my eyes and thought back. I'd started my break on Sunday and then Monday was the last time I had saw Sadie, right before she'd headed to G Major for work. Tuesday I didn't leave my room except for two bathroom breaks and then I guess Wednesday I finally ate a piece of toast. So that must make today Thursday, so I shook my head slowly to answer her question and watched her eyes widen in horror.
"You've been wearing this since Monday!" she yelled motioning to the red sweatpants and black t-shirt I had on.
"Actually, Sunday afternoon," I said softly looking at myself in the mirror once again. I did look pretty disgusting. Darius wasn't going to be thrilled but once again, I couldn't drum up the energy to care. I took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom ignoring Sadie when she told me I was going to regret this. She had no idea.
I knocked once on Darius's door before just walking in. I was surprised to find him sitting behind his desk flipping through a stack of what looked like photographs. It was a work day; he usually was making some poor artists life miserable by taking away the studio, their producer, or their contract.
"You got some mail today Jude," Darius said handing me a manila envelope. I looked at the address and was surprised to see no return address.
"I don't know why they sent it here," I said confused. Nobody ever sent me anything at G Major.
"Oh I do," Darius said tossing the photographs down on his desk. "But before we get to that reason, is there anything you want to tell me about the night of your CD release party. Did anything out of the ordinary happen?"
"Um…no," I said even more confused. I was exhausted and wasn't really looking forward to Darius's games. "Darius, I told you everything that happened that night. I had too much to drink and slept it off in Mason's bus. I woke up when Jamie got there and then I came back like the nice little artist I am."
"Well, if that's all that happened, can you please explain these?" he asked handing me some of the photographs.
I squinted at the first one, the focus was bad but I still could tell it was a picture of me and it was taken that night but I couldn't make out anything else. "A fan took a couple pictures and sent them to me?" I asked slowly as I looked at the next one before I dropped the first photograph. "Or not," I whispered.
No fan of mine could have possibly taken this picture. No, only some sick, perverted person would take a picture of me when I was drunk like that. I wanted to groan when Darius handed me more. I flipped through them, each photograph making me closer to throwing up the non-existent food in my stomach. No, he hadn't just taken photos of me drunk but he'd stripped away my innocence along with my clothes. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the guy I had thought so sweet and kind had definitely taken advantage of the situation.
"Do those pictures ring any bells?" Darius asked as I set the photographs back on his desk.
"Well, not exactly, since you can tell from the photos I wasn't exactly conscious when they were taken," I said just as coldly. I began pacing back and forth. All I could think about was finding the jackass and ripping his balls off for taking advantage of me.
"How could you let this happen?" Darius asked after a moment of silence.
"Let this happen!" I yelled. "I didn't let anything happen. I was hurt and angry Darius. I got drunk, I partied with a guy I thought was cute and he seemed harmless. He offered to help me to Mason's bus because I could barely walk. That's the last thing I remember," I said not surprised to find my eyes tearing up. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and sat back down.
Okay, I've had some horrible things happen to me in my life. Shay, my dad, Tommy to name a few. But I've never felt so violated in my life. I actually felt dirty even though in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't my fault. I hadn't asked for this but common sense wasn't exactly forthcoming at the moment. All I could think about was what the bastard was going to ask for. He obviously had a plan and I was just a pawn in his game. Once again, somebody was going to take advantage of my stupidity. I really had to grow up.
"What's he want?" I asked.
"50,000 dollars or he's taking them to the press," Darius said still sitting in his chair. He looked oddly relaxed for somebody who'd just been dealt a huge blow. He had to know I didn't have 50,000 dollars to pay this guy. After Sadie spending most of my money and my studio, I was pretty broke.
"I don't have that," I said clenching both my hands into fists.
"Believe me when I say, I know that," Darius said sarcastically. He leaned forward and got a glint in his eyes and I knew I wasn't going to like what he was going to say. "I'm sorry Jude but G Major is going to have to let you go for awhile."
"You're firing me!" I said my voice squeaking. Okay, I wasn't expecting that.
"Not exactly, more like you're being laid off," Darius said standing up. "I will have my hands full trying to find this guy and doing damage control."
"What damage control?" I asked confused.
"He's already released a photo to the press, we just don't know which one," Darius explained. "I think this will be good for you anyways, you are obviously not doing that well," he added motioning to my outfit and appearance.
I rolled my eyes. My appearance should be the least of our concerns. I was about to be made into a public scandal which wasn't good. "What exactly am I suppose to do?" I asked finally.
"Stay home, go to your family's cabin, write songs for your next album, if there's a next album," Darius said casually throwing that out there. I knew he was just letting me know if I screwed up anymore, I was done at G Major.
"Fine," I said standing up and walking towards the door.
"And Jude, do not talk to the press and if this guy calls you, don't answer the phone," Darius said picking up his phone.
I didn't bother answering as I just slammed Darius's door. Sadie and Kwest were waiting for me but I just held up a hand and walked out of G Major for what was going to be the last time in a long time. At this point, I had no idea what I was going to do. I was seriously thinking about just going to the cabin and getting away but as I climbed into my Mustang I realized I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to go home; I didn't want to be in Toronto. I wanted out. Maybe not forever but I couldn't stay here anymore. There wasn't anything worth staying for, nobody would seriously miss me.
I drove home on auto pilot and ran upstairs and packed a duffle bag in record time. I didn't pack much, I didn't know how long I was going to be gone and I didn't know exactly where I was going. I grabbed my guitar and my journal, who knew, maybe a road trip to nowhere was exactly what I needed to write again.
I called cab knowing that if they decided to look for me, if I took my car, it would just make it that much easier for them; and I didn't want to make anything easy for them. I climbed into the cab and within twenty minutes I was at the Greyhound station. I walked up to the window and looked at the destinations I had to choose from. New York City was the only one that jumped out at me.
And that's how I got here, on the bus staring out the window using stupid sayings like 'when it rains, it pours'. But it truly did, first I couldn't write anything, second I had those damn pictures floating around, who knew how many copies the jackass had made and then I got laid off. I was fast becoming the Instant Star that crashed and burned after two years.
I stared out the window at the passing scenery and knew that Darius was right. I needed to get away. Okay, he hadn't exactly meant leaving the country but when did I ever do anything half way. As the bus got farther and farther away, the easier it was to breath. When we passed into the United States I smiled for the first time in a long time. Who knows, maybe this wasn't going to be a break, maybe I would just stay in New York. I needed a change, this could be it.