Title: Mother's Instinct
Type: Fanfiction/Oneshot
Fandom: Tokyo Babylon (by CLAMP)
Pairing(s): implied Seishirou/Subaru
Genre: Humor, slight Romance
Word Count: 1,730
Notes: This is really silly, but I find it amusing. I think it spawned from my constant jpb of babysitting.
Beta Read By: vioandroid105
Summary: Seishirou is having a stressfulday at the clinic.

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Mother's Instinct

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The lady with the yapping poodle on one arm and the bawling infant on the other was an eyesore. She was obese to the point where she could barely fit through the doorway, and her lime green dress made her seem like a radioactive blimp. She was harping to her small dog and her equally tiny baby to be quiet, but neither was in the mood for obedience. A few customers sitting in the front waiting room stared in disgust for a few moments and returned to their magazines. Most shot the veterinarian an apologetic grin, scooped up their pets, and scooted out the door.

The enormous madam took a seat. Naturally, it was the most luxurious seat in the room, situated by the window. The legs of the poor chair she had chosen creaked underneath her form, and he cringed at the thought of having to refurbish it. It cracked. Scratch that, he thought. A total replacement seemed like more and more likely with each passing second.

He was tempted to close early.

Fake a sudden illness, maybe.

He really was not in the mood for dealing with owners and their annoying pets.

The perfectly groomed poodle caught sight of him and started yipping excitedly. He smiled serenely at it, secretly imagining the various ways to disassemble its body parts. His mind immediately came up with a thousand excuses to keep it overnight, just so he could sick magical backlash upon its prissy form.

"Sakurazuka-sensei?" one of the customers ventured uncertainly.

He started, realizing that he had been standing at the door to the waiting room for several minutes.

"Next," he called cheerfully.

An elderly man with a golden retriever folded up his newspaper and began to stand.

"My appointment is at 2:00 P.M.," remarked a shrill voice.

Seishirou heard a thunderous boom and knew that the woman had gotten to her feet. He wondered how her voice could be so ear-splitting when she possessed such a corpulent body.

"Well, the appointment times are running a bit behind today," he said pleasantly, smiling benignly. "I'm afraid you will have to wait your turn; it should take an extra thirty minutes at the mo –"

"I don't have an extra thirty minutes!" she trilled. "You must see Floofy now!"

"Furuufi will have to wait, I'm afraid," Seishirou tried again, having difficulty holding back the want to simply get rid of the atrocity altogether. This woman, given her size, would alleviate the tree's appetite for a week.

The old man waved his hands in a placating manner.

"It's all right, Sakurazuka-san – I can wait. Go on and take care of the...er...lady."

Seishirou pasted on a half-apologetic and half-grateful look.

"If you're sure," he murmured kindly.

"I'm sure," said the old man, his eyes pleading for Seishirou to get the woman out of there pronto. "We'll just go for a walk for a while, won't we?" He tugged on his dog's leash and moved towards the door.

"All right," Seishirou conceded, fixing the woman with a bored stare. "Follow me, please."

When the old man opened the door of the front entrance to the clinic, the poodle in the fat woman's arms leapt from her arms like a flying squirrel, nearly causing her to drop her baby. It squeezed through the crack of the door and tore off down the busy street. To make matters worse, the old man lost control of his dog's leash, and it sprinted excitedly after her. The old man articulated a cry of dismay and ran after them.

Seishirou was about to exercise his veterinary duty as catcher of dogs, but suddenly, the jiggling fat lady thrust a warm bundle into his arms and disappeared out the front entrance as well, crying over and over again for her "Floofy." Seishirou glared for a moment, cursing the turn of events, and then focused his attention on the squirming body in his arms. He immediately glanced around for someone to hand the child off to, but there were no other customers in the room. He shifted to accommodate the weight of the infant better and stared down into its plump pink face.

The baby began to cry. It cried so hard, Seishirou thought its throat must be tearing. It certainly sounded like it. The more he held it, the more he became annoyed with its noisiness. He pondered accidentally dropping it and blaming the woman.

"Sei-chan!"

He snapped his attention to the doorway. There stood none other than Sumeragi Hokuto – a godsend for once. She was dressed flamboyantly as usual in a brightly colored sunflower ensemble.

"Hokuto-chan," was all he said.

"Is that a baby?" she asked in confusion, skipping forward.

"Yes it is," he remarked calmly, rocking the blasted thing back and forth, fervently praying for it to shut up soon.

Hokuto's green eyes narrowed dangerously at him.

"It's not your baby, is it?" she hissed.

"Of course not," he shuddered, remembering its mother with horrifying clarity.

"Oh," she said, returning immediately to her sunny self.

"It's a customer's, and it won't stop crying," he said pitifully, giving her a please take it look.

She stared at him for a moment, noting his somewhat awkward attempts to soothe the child.

"Oh, give it here already!" she exclaimed. "I'm a woman – I have a mother's instinct!"

"Mother's instinct, hm?" he repeated as he gratefully passed the child to the teenaged girl. "We'll see."

Hokuto stared into the deep black eyes of the tiny infant. A few seconds later, she was swaying back and forth making ridiculous cooing noises. It was aggravating, really – especially when combined with the endless wailing the baby was doing. If he didn't know any better, he'd venture that it was actually crying louder now that Hokuto was holding it.

"Come on," she said desperately, running her hands over its face soothingly. "Stop crying."

"Seems you're lacking a mother's instinct," Seishirou teased.

Hokuto scowled at him.

"Seishirou-san! Hokuto-chan! What's going on?"

Startled, they spun to find that Subaru had arrived, dressed in a slightly more masculine outfit than Hokuto's but with the same motif. He pulled off his shoes and entered.

"Is that a baby?" he breathed.

Hokuto stomped over to her brother and shoved the bundle at him.

"Whoa!" he cried, fumbling for a good hold on the child. It abruptly ceased sobbing.

Hokuto and Seishirou both scrambled close to Subaru, one on each side, to peer at the infant. Its face was peaceful now – rosy cheeks twitching as it yawned adorably.

"No way," Hokuto whispered, afraid her voice might send the child into a crying fit again.

"Amazing," Seishirou murmured in awe.

Subaru stared at the baby in confusion and embarrassment, his cheeks tingeing a soft pink. He smiled softly as he observed the babe's delicate features – soft eyelashes, black hair, and rosy complexion.

"Hello," he whispered timidly, extending a gloved finger for the baby to grab hold of.

The baby cooed and giggled.

Subaru broke into a wide grin, features lighting up as the sunlight streamed in behind him to frame the crown of his head in a halo. Seishirou was spellbound – fascination for the image of the boy before him overriding all other thoughts.

"Sei-chan, you're staring," Hokuto shrieked happily, breaking the moment.

"Quiet, Hokuto-chan – you're going to make it cry again," Seishirou shot back airily.

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Where's his mother?" Subaru asked quietly, eyes sparkling like expensive jewels.

"She went to chase her dog," Seishirou laughed, looping an arm around Subaru's shoulders slyly and pulling him close.

Subaru blushed.

"Chase her dog?"

Hokuto stuck her head out the door.

"Is it that huge woman heading this way or the old man?"

"The woman," Seishirou said exasperatedly, dragging the boy even closer. He faked tears. "She was so mean to me, Subaru-kun."

The large woman arrived at the door, floods of sweat cascading from her body. Her stubby hands held her poodle in a death grip. She was taking in rattling breaths at such an alarming rate, the old man beside her worried she might keel over in a dead faint. He kept trying to assist her, but she slapped his hands away.

"Where's..my..baby?" she gasped, looking around frantically.

Subaru's eyes bulged. The woman caught sight of him. Her eyes roved his body up and down disapprovingly; she was inwardly snarling at his tight clothes. Her eyes fell on the arm that the veterinarian had slung around his shoulders and she glowered.

Seishirou noticed this straight away and pulled Subaru so close that the boy squeaked. Seishirou's eyes were possessive.

The woman dashed over and ripped the infant from Subaru's arms and snuggled it close to her bosom. It instantly burst into tears, screaming loudly. Subaru opened his mouth as if to say something but shut it abruptly. Then, he was tugged even closer to Seishirou, and the man encircled him in a tight embrace before he could get away. Hokuto made a sound of encouragement, and the huge woman announced that she was leaving to find a different veterinarian.

Seishirou took this news as a personal victory.

Subaru was so red, he was sure he looked permanently burned.

The old man took a seat with his dog beside him and blew out a long breath of air.

"That was a rough woman," he said finally.

"She acted like a crude fool if you ask me," Hokuto put in, scowling. "She had better treat that baby right or I'll just – just – steal it!"

"But Hokuto-chan," Seishirou said, still squeezing Subaru affectionately. "You're not the one with a mother's instinct."

"What?" Hokuto sputtered, outraged. "Of course I do! You can't judge that from just one crying baby!"

"Yes I can," Seishirou said gleefully.

"If I don't got it, then who does?" Hokuto demanded.

Seishirou smiled indulgently.

"Subaru-kun."

Hokuto nearly choked on her tongue. She was speechless.

Subaru made a whimpering noise. There was nowhere to run, so he hid himself further in Seishirou's chest, seeking shelter from the shocked eyes of the old man sitting in the chair.

"You – " Hokuto stammered, "You're absolutely right! Ohohohoho! So right! Not only will he make a beautiful bride, but also a wonderful mother!"

Seishirou joined in on the laughter.

"I can't wait till our wedding day!" he agreed jovially.

Subaru wanted to shrink and sink into the floor.

The old man sitting in the chair stood and led his dog out of the office, one thought running rampant through his mind:

The rumors were true.

END.

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