Why The Chicken Crossed The Road

by Prongs (Kara), one of theMarauders


Once upon a time, in a farm far,far away, there lived a Chicken,
named Egg Nestlayer. He was just an average chicken, until the
nasty Empire came along and changed everything. They put in these
roads near where Egg Nestlayer lived, and told all of the chickens
of Omletooeen that they could not cross these roads.

Now, Egg Nestlayer, being a nice, run of the mill, whiny chicken,
decided that he could not do anything about it so he never crossed the
road, and lived his life in fear of the Empire. Then news of an
Egg-bellion broke out and Egg, thinking that because it began with
his first name, he had a duty to join it, but he did not know how.

Then one sunny afternoon, a strange old chicken came up to Egg and
told him that his father, whom he had never met, had been a Heni and
had used the ancient power of the Poultry to try to defeat Drumstick
Venice-sauce, the evil dark lord of the Heni. The strange old chicken
was called Breast Kutlet, and he had a message from Princess Wing that
she needed their help. So after a short debate, Brest Kutlet and Egg
Nestlayer went to Mossy Ben's to find a transport to help Princess
Wing.

~~ Chapter II: Mossy Ben's ~~

Mossy Ben's was a very scary place. There were these huge, Chicken-eating
giants called "humans" and other aliens. They walked into a cantina,
and Breast Kutlet began talking to a large, rather furry thing, much
like a ferret, while Egg Nestlayer anxiously looked around.

After a few mintues of talking and some strange stares, Kutlet pulled
Egg over to a table where a roguish-looking chicken was seated, blaster
at his feathery waist. Kutlet told him that they were looking for trans
-port to Alderaan, so that they could do...something.

They negociated and left for the ship, the Centennial Chicken. But
before they could take off, the Imperials had caught up to them.
They started firing at them, but the Centennial Chicken took off just
in the nick of time.

~~ Chapter III: Meanwhile... ~~

Staying true to the Chapter title, Meanwhile, on the Death Nugget,
Princess Wing was being interrogated by Drumstick Venicesause. When
she refused to tell him anything, he blew up her planet, Applejuice.
Then she had to go back to her detention cell, and hope that Kutlet
was coming to rescue her.

~~ Chapter IV: Meanwhile Meanwhile... ~~

On the Centennial Chicken, Egg Nestlayer was practicing to become
a heni, like his father before him. Brest Kutlet was happy to see
how his young plumsauce was coming along. Egg was very content
to be called "plumsauce," as that was what heni apprentices were
called by their masters. Then, all of a sudden, a red flashing thingy
and a beepy noise woke up Hot Sauce, the pilot of the Centennial
Chicken, and his co-pilot, Tobacco, the ferret. They ran to the cockpit
to find out that the planet, Applejuice, had been blown up, and that
they were being pulled in by a green, glowing light which they did
not know what it was before they looked it up in the "pilot's
encyclopedia of very wierd things that come up every now and then,"
and found out it was a tractor beam that was pulling them into the
Death Nugget, but it was too late. They were already on the Death
Nugget, the Imperial super station. There was no hope for helping
the Egg-bellion now.

~~ Chapter V: Later ~~

Luckily, Hot Sauce had some extra water cooler bottles that they
could hide in untill the imperials left. All but two of them did, and
they got very mad as there was not much room in those bottles, until
Egg had an ingenious thought - why not pretend to be the Seasoning
-Troopers? So they got out, punched the two SeasoningTroopers and took
their Chicken Nugget box costumes. Then they ran out of the room and
to the detention cell, where the princess was being held.

~~ Chapter VI: The Princess ~~

When Egg ran into the detention cell to help the Princess, she looked
at him and then asked, "Aren't you a little fat to be a Seasoning
-Trooper?" and that made him very sad, and he decided not to help
the princess after all. Then she said she was sorry but he did not
listen, just rolled around on the floor. Hot Sauce, Tobbaco and
Kutlet were very angry at him, and decided to leave him rolling on
the floor and they took the princess and became the heros of the
rebellion.

~~ Chapter VII: What Happened to Egg? ~~

When the Imperials found Egg, he was still rolling around on the floor
crying, traumatized by the Princess' harsh words. So they sent him
back to Omletooeen, to live his traumatized, sad life. One day,
he just couldn't take it. So he crossed the road, and hoped to
die. But what awaited him on the other side...

~~ Chapter VIII: Cliffhanger ~~

was...

~~ Chapter IX: Clifhanger II ~

nothing but the notorious...

~~ Chapter X: End Story! ~~

Land of the Smurfs! Where he moved in with the girl smurf and had
lots of little chicken-smurfs and lived happily ever after.

~*~ THE END ~*~

AND COMING SOON TO A FAN FIC SITE NEAR YOU...

WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD...HARRY POTTER STYLE!!

Starring: Eggy Potter, Redneck Weasley, and Hotsauce Granger!

With Special Apperances by : Fried & Greasy Weasley