PLEASE READ THIS A/N
Okay, well first off I feel inclined to exploit my reasons for writing this. I own a Kirge C2 which obligates me to hunt for such fics. Now, the lack of these Kirges startles me. I've written quite a few of them myself (most of which looking back on I'm now very disappointed with) and I've used up all my ideas. But looking through the Chrono Cross section of this site I felt compelled to search the depth of my mind for ANYTHING AT ALL. I hope this will turn out well, as to inspire more people to write on this couple. Or actually, write any Chrono Cross fics at all. It seems the numbers have been stuck on 602 for a long time now. It's upsetting to say the least.
P.S. I promise to update Nine Lives someday. Lolzo. Also all my other chaptered Kirge fics that are very neglected.
A broken sort of smile whispered across her features as her gaze fell upon the figure sleeping besides her. Things seemed so complicated and it made it hard to keep going. The world was spinning with secrets she'd been denied so long, secrets she couldn't bear to comprehend; and even through the evidence that pulled them again and again to her mind she couldn't let them soak in, because that would take the last person she had left. Make believe people can't love, can't be loved.
Things weren't like they were before. She wasn't like she was before. Somehow, and Kid couldn't just pretend that the world was going to work out for her in the end anymore. She seemed to have it in her head that because she'd gotten cheated in the past there'd have to be something to make up for it, something to balance out the pain in her life. She always figured the world had to have some sort of balance; a sort of equality or else it'd tip over and spill. She'd always imagined it like that as a child, but now, through the years it'd taken her she knew that:
Things weren't fair or balanced for her or for anyone. Not even for him.
His breathing was quiet and beautiful; his hair slightly disheveled, his bandana strewn over the bedside table, and soft shadows against the muscles in his jaw. He was the last simple thing in her life--her existence more so, because she couldn't even call herself a real person anymore, couldn't say she had a real life. And in this life, this existence of her she'd always had a problem with feeling like everything that happened was a dream. Maybe she had always taken life as a game to be conquered. But now, that the game had conquered her, the vision had changed. The vision was now that it was a theatrical play, with intricate characters with intricate emotions, but a pre-written script. Maybe that's why things had always felt so powerful in the moment, powerful yet dreamlike, because she needed to believe it was life on a whim she was living. That the air was really sitting in her lungs for her own reasons even though somewhere deep down inside she knew that she already had a purpose, and it wasn't about herself or living.
Kid hated to believe she had no control. That everything really was planned out.
That she was a copy of what was actually real. It frustrated her, and she couldn't let it make its way too close to where she held her beliefs. Beliefs like living in the moment and survival and Serge. If nothing else she believed in Serge. That's the only reason she couldn't just let herself slip away from everything, hide from the facts she hated to face. Kid knew she'd have to accept everything if she was going to help him. She was born of someone else to help him. But more than that, she wanted to help him. More than that, she loved him, and in all honesty somewhere she believed that people should live their lives on stage without the script. Inevitably the end of their battles would be the beginning of something great for him. Even though she knew she probably wouldn't be part of it. But that's the way it was written...how it had to be.
Because Kid could feel it in herself that she wasn't real. Maybe that's why she never let herself get close to people. That and her fears. She couldn't love or be loved because she wasn't really a part of the play. She wasn't born to be a person and make attempts at happiness, she was born to bring that chance of happiness for others. The selfishness in that didn't console her either.
But through however real or surreal her existence was he was still there, sleeping calmly with a slight frown and Kid hated how just looking at him gave her hope. The closeness of his body, whether awake or not, seemed to prove to her that she was real and tangible through everything saying she wasn't. He was just too convincing a person; and she wished that somehow him loving her could also convince her soul of true existence.
But she knew. She knew she wasn't and in the end she wasn't meant to, and his life had a whole other direction in the opposite of hers. But that didn't stop her from loving him, and wanting him, and feeling cheated, and feeling unsatisfied with what little time she had left with him.
Kid never imagined she'd help out the world that'd never done anything for her. But it was his world and it was the only point she had left anymore.
Tears had somehow welled up amidst the cerulean of her eyes without her noticing, and had smoothed their way hotly down her round cheek. Kid was brought back to the reality of everything with a chocked sob. Her throat suddenly seemed raw. A sense of helplessness washed over her, and she couldn't believe thinking of losing Serge affected her so much. Kid guessed she never really got to know herself very well, especially through all the lies.
Kid closed her eyes to the tears, trying to focus on something that didn't remind her of her bitter present or future or past, but found it a difficult task. Kid jumped when she felt a slightly calloused thumb sweep over the moisture on her cheek. Opening her eyes she was met with ones shades darker than her own, like a shadowed ocean, waves of concern rolling and twisting inside before breaking into tides of love. With a sudden jolt of selfishness Kid buried her head in his shirt, fists clenching and knuckles paling against the soft fabric as she held on with what sense of self she had left. Kid suddenly couldn't be content with what little of him she had left; she couldn't be okay with the knowledge that someone else would get him when all of this was over. Kid couldn't be content knowing the person she was wouldn't ever fight or smirk or threaten or love again. She'd thought things couldn't get any worse when she'd sniffled into her ragged sleeve as a child, swearing to avenge Lucca.
Things got worse. They got so much worse Kid couldn't even begin to chuckle bitterly at it all.
And somehow, through all the hate and fight that had seeped out of her recently he still wrapped firm arms around her small frame, soothing and through her burst of selfishness Kid felt a pang of guilt because he already had so many of his own problems. He had a fine life; she knew it was hard for him to get pulled into all of this. They were in similar positions when she thought about it, and she finally understood that the only shade their eyes shared was the helpless one. The one that stated clearly their life wasn't for their own purposes, but for someone they'd never even met and for the world. Kid understood that selfishly they both didn't want it, but both were obligated.
Kid wondered if Serge would let the world down to be with her as quickly as she'd do it to stay with him. Kid felt his lips brush the top of her head and it took all she had not to ask him. Besides she should have already knew the answer.
Alrighty, so I probably could have done more with that but I'm lazy. I just really wanted to get something more out there to try to jog peoples memories that there's those really amazing but neglected game titles too.
God, some of this I had to sigh on because it was so CORNY! At least I'm good at being a hopeless romantic FOOL! The thing that got me was the first time I described Serge's eyes, I just had to laugh at myself there.
If your confused, Kid just found out she's a clone of Schala, which would brake my heart in her position. She doesn't feel like a real person, and knows her only purpose was to help Serge, but she ended up loving him, which as you know just complicates everything further.