Make This Last
an original X-Men Movieverse fan fiction
written by: jennifer s. a.k.a. assassinelektra
I do not own the X-Men movies or comics, or their characters. This is a fan fiction story meant only for the enjoyment of myself and other X-Men fans.
Title: Make This Last
Genre: Action/Adventure, Romance, Angst
Setting: Right after The Boy Who Destroyed the World
Rating: R (for possible language)
Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter! First I sprained my wrist and couldn't type, then I got more hours at work, so things have been crazy! Anyway, I hope you can all forgive me!
slow down, girl
We're moving way too fast for their world
We've gotta make this last
Slow down girl
We're moving way too fast for their world
We've gotta make this last
I know it hurts
to feel so all alone
I'm by myself, more then you could know"
Hawthorne Heights "Decembers"
"Love is watching someone die."
Death Cab For Cutie "What Sarah Said"
Something was on Warren's mind. Kitty knew that much. When he pulled her aside for a moment before they walked into the Avenger's mansion, she wasn't surprised.
"Are you sure it was a good idea bringing him along?" He was glancing at John, looking almost fearful.
"Warren, I thought that you of all people would understand that he's not the person he once was," Kitty said in disbelief. "Now you're telling me that you think he's—"
"It's not that," Warren said, cutting her short. "I mean with his powers acting all crazy and everything, I just figured that…" He trailed off when he saw the look on her face. "Didn't he tell you?"
"Tell me what?" she asked.
Warren sighed and suddenly realized he'd made a mistake, but there was no backing out now. He continued, "The other day in the kitchen, his powers went out of control and he almost burned the building down."
"What?" Kitty asked. "No, he would have told me if…" She looked at Warren's face. "Damn it," Kitty muttered.
"Hey, you guys coming or what?" They glanced over at John and Remy, who were waiting by the door.
Kitty looked at Warren, then back at them and headed towards the building. They would need to talk about this later, because now she was more than worried about John.
"They're in the other room," Stark explained, answering Kitty's question before she even asked it as they walked into the building.
Kitty nodded and opened the door cautiously, taking a step inside. She looked around the room, and it took her a minute to notice them over in the corner. Logan had his hand on Rogue's shoulder, and he was talking softly to her, telling her something that must have been comforting because she looked relieved.
"Logan?" Kitty spoke his name quietly, and both he and Rogue looked up from their conversation. Rogue looked frightened at the new arrivals but Logan assured her they were friends and she seemed to trust him.
Logan walked over to them, though he kept his eye on Rogue. "She doesn't remember a whole lot," he explained.
"Is she…" Kitty paused, "Can we take her back to the school?"
"I think that's a good idea," he replied. "It's just that…" He looked over Kitty's shoulder in surprise, and everyone glanced at the doorway to see who he was now glaring at. "What are you doing here?"
Emma appeared to be insulted by the question. "I'm a teacher. I came as soon as I heard," was her reply.
Logan didn't seem to like Emma Frost. Kitty couldn't blame him though, because everything about her just seemed…wrong. She hated that Emma was here now, when Rogue needed no one but her friends, and she could only imagine how Logan felt.
He looked back at Kitty, "I'll take her back," he told her.
"Okay," Kitty nodded, "but we'll be right behind in case something…" He gave her a look of understanding, which she was grateful for since she didn't need to say what she was thinking.
She was pissed about something, John knew that much. What he didn't know was what was making Kitty so angry. He hated not knowing, so as she slammed her bedroom door behind her without saying a word, he opened it again and followed her in.
She didn't give him a chance to speak as she turned around and glared at him, "Why didn't you tell me!" Kitty demanded.
"What are you—"
"I had to find out from Warren that you lost control of your powers and almost burned down the school!" she continued. "When did this happen?" Kitty asked. "When did we stop talking about these things? Did you think I wouldn't want to know that something like this was going on? What is it? Why the hell didn't you tell me!"
He looked at the ground and took his lighter out from his pocket, flicking it open and closed over and over again. The clicking sound brought him comfort for some reason. When he didn't answer her, she started again.
"I should have known something was wrong, right?" Kitty said, scoffing, "I mean, you were just acting too damn caring!"
At this he looked up at her and the expression on his face was almost one of hurt. "I do care," he spat the words almost bitterly, because they tasted funny in his mouth and it stung to say them.
"Do you?" she asked, sounding altogether disappointed and desperate.
"I came back," he reminded her. "Do you know how hard it was for me to do that?"
She scoffed again, rolling her eyes, "Oh I'm sure it was the most difficult thing you've ever done!" Her tone was completely sarcastic.
"No, it was the second hardest thing!" he said, raising his voice, and he finally had her attention. "The hardest thing I've ever done was walking away from you," he added quietly.
There was a moment of silence where her mouth hung open, ready to speak words that she just couldn't seem to say.
"But, I never planned on coming back," he continued, ignoring the look she was giving him, "and it was fucking painful when I realized I had to!"
"Had to?" she asked. "And why pray tell did you have to come back?"
"Because, I…!" he started yelling, then stopped himself. "Because," he started again, much calmer, "I'm sick."
Kitty looked like she was going to fall down at those words, like she just couldn't stand anymore, and though he wanted to John stopped himself from grabbing hold of her shoulders to steady her. "I've got the Leg—"
"DON'T!" she yelled so loud John was sure everyone in the mansion had heard, "Don't ever say that word around me," Kitty finished, quieter but still not calm, because the tears in her eyes were now falling uncontrollably.
"Kitty, I won't let you be in denial about this!" he shouted. "You can't just pretend it isn't happening because I've got the fucking virus and it's killing me!"
"No," she said, forcing a smile, "no, it's not around anymore. The last year there have only been three reported cases. They never found a cure, but it went away on its own and…"
"You know that isn't true," he told her. "Mutants are still dying from it everywhere. We've just gotten used to the idea."
"This isn't happening," she muttered, looking slowly around the room, trying to avoid looking at him. "This can't be happening."
"It is," he said, and Kitty finally looked at him, "It is happening, and ironically…" He looked at her, "I just needed to see you again before…" Kitty walked through him and the wall behind him, leaving him alone in the room, "I die," he finished, leaning against the wall and slumping down to the floor, where he stared forward with blank eyes.
"So, she was a student here?" Emma asked Warren.
"Yeah," he replied, "I didn't know her all that well." It was a guilty admission that he wished he had gotten to know Rogue better.
"She's beautiful," Remy commented a bit absent-mindedly, and both Emma and Warren looked at him like he was crazy. He looked at them, "Well, she is."
"What's her power?" Emma asked.
"It's not really a power, more of a curse from what I've heard," Warren replied. "When she touches people, she…it's like she drains their energy."
"Really?" Emma asked. "That's different."
"So she can't touch anyone?" Remy asked.
"Not unless she wants to kill them," Warren answered. "Which makes me wonder how Ms. Danvers is doing." The Avengers had been careful to avoid talking about Carol Danvers the entire time the X-Men had been at their mansion.
"Warren!" Storm rushed over and hugged him, a huge smile on her face. She pulled away and motioned towards a blue mutant who stood in the doorway, "Remember I told you about Kurt?"
"Hey, when did you guys get back?" Warren asked.
"Just now," she answered, smiling. "Feels good to be back." No one said anything for a moment, and she took in the expressions on their faces, her smile fading. "What happened?" Storm asked.
There are those moments where your life crashes down around you, of course, but then there are those moments where time just seems to stop and all you can feel is that agony that starts from your heart and makes its way throughout your entire body.
"I don't know what to do," Kitty said, glancing down at Peter's headstone. It was odd that this had been the first place on her mind when she'd tried to think of where to go. Now, tears falling down her cheeks, she kneeled in the grass before his grave, desperate for some sort of comfort she knew the cemetery would never give her.
"I can't do this again," she added, nearly whispering. "I mean, I…" She wiped her tears away from her face and tried to stop crying. "It's just too much. The virus was letting up, it was starting to go away on its own by some miracle, and now…" Her voice caught in the back of her throat.
"What am I going to do?" she whispered, and the answer hit her so hard that she nearly fell back.
Be with him.
"I don't know if I can do that," Kitty told herself, that inner voice that always knew what the right thing to do was whether she ignored it or not. Then she heard a different voice entirely in her mind, it was Storm's voice from not so long ago.
"It won't be easy. You'll want to give up, you'll wonder why we even bother? At times you'll have no hope at all. But then one day, you'll see the face of someone you've saved, and you'll know that it was worth it. Even if only for that one person."
She stood up slowly, staring down at the headstone, and for a moment Kitty didn't move. She glanced to her right at the new school and realized that Storm had been completely right. Though this was going to be hard, probably the hardest thing she would ever do.
The first thing Kitty noticed when she paused in the doorway was that he was packing his bags. "John?" He didn't look up at her. "John, what are you doing?"
"I'm leaving." It was a simple answer, but it stung. "You made it clear that this is too hard for you so…" Finally, John looked up and turned to face her, "so I'm not going to put you through it." The look on his face gave nothing away, but she knew him well enough to know that this was as hard for her as it was for him. He was just better at hiding it.
"The virus has changed," Kitty explained, hands moving to rest in her back pockets as she looked at the floor. "You'll have longer than the early patients did." He nodded, but didn't say anything. "John," Kitty walked over to where he was standing and took his bag out of his hand, setting it onto the floor beside them. "Don't go."
Kitty looked right into his eyes, taking hold of his hands in hers. "Please," she said quietly, "I don't want you to go through this alone."
"I was wrong to ever come here," he told her as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's probably the most selfish thing I've ever done," he admitted. "I'm such a fucking bastard." He held his head with his hands in frustration, staring at the floor.
Kitty sat next to him. "If you hadn't come back I'd never have been whole again." He looked up at her and saw the tears in her eyes as she stared forward at the wall. It was as if John could almost see through her eyes, because he knew somehow that she was going through the symptoms of the virus in her minds' eye, remembering what each of them was like. "I'm glad you came back," she finally said, smiling through tears as she turned her head to look at him.
"How am I going to do this?" he asked her. There weren't tears in his eyes, he just didn't cry as easily as he'd used to around her, but there was a sadness in his eyes that pierced seemed to tear at her in such a way that he could see it in her own.
"With me by your side," was her answer.
It was cliché, and John was damn tempted to tell her that too, to laugh and make some sarcastic remark about how she'd been watching the Hallmark channel way too much lately. "This wasn't how things were supposed to end," he told her.
He meant it too, because when he had left her he'd made a promise. "Some day, we'll finish this," and he hadn't meant that one of them would die and the credits would start rolling. This changed everything, and he knew it too. He knew that Kitty knew it, and that somehow, when she survived and he didn't, she would never be the person she had once been again.
He had changed her.
She glanced over at him, "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry for this."
She looked away, focusing her gaze on the floor looking thoughtful. "Me too," she finally told him.
The newly rebuilt garden outside of Xavier's school was still and silent, until all at once in a burst of light and sound, a young woman appeared out of nothing. She stood there for a moment, looking down at the grass where her feet rested, then looked up at the school.
Her body was strained, weakened from using powers she hadn't been aware she even had, and her eyes were red from lack of sleep as she had tried to master those powers in a short enough time to survive them.
To her left was the school, tall and towering over every tree around it, and to her right was a small memorial graveyard. She couldn't breathe as she noticed the headstones and made her way over slowly. Then she saw it, and suddenly she was breathing so fast she thought she might pass out.
She fell to her knees before one of the headstones and began to weep, one hand reaching out to rest on it as she read the name. Peter Rasputin. "My dear brother," she whispered through her sobs.