Title: Going Under
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Severus/Harry, Lucius/Harry, Draco/Harry
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, rape, non-con, violence
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!!!!!!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own HP or its chars. They are property of JKR and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Going Under" by Evanescence

Chapter 1: Now I will tell you what I've done for you

"No! Please..."

My voice was nearly non-existent and what remained was soft, pleading and tears filled. Repeatedly he raped me and in the beginning I repeatedly begged, cried, pleaded and prayed for it to end.

None of my cries and prayers were heard and if they were they weren't answered, they only heightened his pleasure and desire to here them more and more. Repeatedly, day after day with what seemed like endless hours of torture. When I wasn't dying a thousand deaths beneath his cold and cruel body he kept me collared and chained in a small cage. If I dared to sleep I was poked, hexed, beaten and verbally berated among other things until I eventually curled in on myself in the middle of my tiny prison and eventually passed out. I don't know how long I've been in his cold bony clutches but it took very little for them to break me.

I had survived each hit, slap, punch and kick as well as every type of hex and curse they could throw or cast my way to cause me pain and I came out just as strong and indignant and ready to fight just like I always had in the past. Then they found a new way to break me, a new way to cause me pain and leave me asking for death.

With each second, minute, hour and day I prayed for death. Every time his breath heavy and hot reeking of death touched me, every time he thrust deep inside of me, every time he spoke and degraded me; I wished and asked for nothing but the sweet release of death.

I was ready for it all to end. The fame, the stress, others expectations of me, the constant echo of my name and mentions of my parents. I wanted it done and over with. I don't care if there's a heaven or a hell nor do I wish to continue to exist in either. I just want it to end, the cease to be.

They forced potion after potion down my throat and forced me to do things I had never done with a person I loved let alone strangers and enemies. It was all a big party for him and his followers. At one point I had ceased to beg and plead and not soon after I did as they asked, wordlessly as if I weren't me. As if I was no longer in possession of my body.

They had parties where I was the main event and it was at one of these parties that I had finally seen some of Voldemort's followers that I knew.

How could I not know them?

One of them sat straight backed on the sofa dressed in black billowing robes with a look of smug revulsion covering his face, his eyes showing disgust and pity. He had been my potions Professor and he would most likely soon be one of the many who would violate me this night just like Crabbe Sr. was doing now in this crowded room for all to see.

The other two were practically clones of each other but at different stages in their life. Next to my Potion's Professor Snape sat Draco and Lucius Malfoy. Both just as rich and haughty looking as ever and yet their expressions had changed. Malfoy Sr. looked like he was disgusted and wanted to be anywhere but here watching as his master and fellow Death Eaters raped me. Draco looked similar to his father and held a similar expression and yet their eyes...it was almost as if they were not only pitying me but something more like anger and outrage. Not at me, but what was being done to me.

It left me feeling weird and uncomfortable and I didn't like it. I had made myself numb and now they had shown up was fucking it all up!

I refused to look at them and retreated deep inside myself where there was no pain and humiliation and all was peaceful and quiet. I don't know or remember what happens or how much time has lapsed when I do that but whenever I come out of it, it's always dark and my tormentors are always gone.

I awake from my quiet refuge and find things changed. There was a small light from the tip of a wand and three sets of eyes starring at me from outside my cage. I crawl to the edge and sit on my haunches and stare at them.

"Have you come to kill me?"

The looks of astonishment anger me.

"No you fool! We've come to save you, "said Snape in a harsh tone.

A smile had not touched my face since before my capture had appeared but it wasn't my usual smile. It didn't feel like my normal smile.

"I'd rather you kill me."

They all stared at me in shock.

"I'm afraid we can't do that Potter. You're our trump card. With you we can return to the Order and find shelter," said Malfoy Sr.

"What if I said that you could find your own damn savior and save yourselves since you all got yourselves into your own personal hell and then bit my tongue? It would serve you all right."

"If you were capable of that you would have done it by now, unless you were too cowardly to do it," said a snide Draco.

"I tried and almost succeeded. Have you seen that leather bit they put in my mouth while their raping me? There's a reason for it. I also have a spell on my mouth at the moment that prevents me from trying to attempt that particular type of suicide again but when we return they'll take it off and when they do..."

"Why in the name of Merlin would you kill yourself after you've been saved?"

I looked into Lucius' eyes and felt all emotion leave me," because I haven't been saved. I'll be passed from one tyrant to another. Harry Potter, the savior of all. Harry Potter, will defeat Voldemort. Harry Potter destroyed him once. A lot to live up to. A lot I have gone through and yet you want to return me so that I can be put through more of your wizarding world bullshit!"

"Have you lost your bloody mind Potter!?"

I stared at Draco and the other two and replied as icily as I could, "Let's trade places Draco. Come serve your master. Come let him fill you and place a collar around your neck and when you no longer scream for him and he passes you to his followers let me sit on the soft couch and stare at you the same way you stared at me, a mix of disgust and pity."

It was quiet and I looked at Snape," Kill me. Cast the unforgivable and end my life. It would be irony to die in the same fashion as them. If it helps imagine that I'm my father, you treated me with as much hatred and revulsion as if I were him. Now you can have your revenge. If you're too cowardly to do so then remove the spell and let me end it myself."

Snape raised his wand and I closed my eyes and smiled a real smile for the first time in a long time.

"I'm sorry," was what he said before an unknown incantation left his lips and my world went dark.

To Be Continued...