PART FIVE

Saturday was Jim's day, and a day for him to vegetate away from work on the sofa to watch football. The game was washed out, but he had a movie he had wanted to watch and responsibilities he wanted to ignore. Andy invited himself over to catch the game with him, and instead caught him watching something else.

"Hey, Andy…" Jim looked up to him. "Did Jimmy decide to use your house?"

"No," Andy reacted a bit depressed. "He and his lady locations director said it was too single man-oriented." He sighed a bit. "How about you?"

"Too…" Jim looked round his place. "Television, whatever that means…"

"What are you watching?" Andy slowly slid next to Jim and sat down by him on the sofa. His hand reached for some of Jim's popcorn.

"Attack of the Fifty-Foot Cheerleaders." Jim was transfixed by the movie. "It's the movie Cheryl made in high school. Jimmy burned me a copy."

"Oooo, sci-fi…" Andy started getting into the low-budget movie. "I love these amateur sci-fi movies. They're always so gritty."

"And Cheryl looks so hot in that cheerleader costume." Jim felt a little like a creep watching his teenaged wife on the screen.

"So tell me about the plot so far." Andy asked while his mind was possessed by the grainy black-and-white video.

"Oh, uh, Cheryl's character and her cheerleader friends made salads made from vegetables from the mad scientist's garden little knowing he's been trying to create a new strain of new giant vegetables." Jim lost a few kernels of popcorn to the floor as he watched the movie. "I think the professor's radiation treatments are about to kick in."

"My sweater's getting so tight!" Cheryl's teenage voice came from the TV's surround sound. The sound and sight of buttons bursting and seams exploding in the movie's climax made Jim's jaw drop with signs of a dirty grin before the amateur special effects. Andy instead screamed in shock and started burying his face into the sofa to try and erase the memory of his sister losing her sweater from her body.

"This has got to be the best movie ever!" Jim grinned ear to ear and felt he was reverting back into a teenager himself. "Did you see how big her boobs got!"

"Thanks a lot, Jim!" Andy became upset as he stared to his brother-in-law and not the spectacle on the TV. "I'll never get that image out of my head! I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life!"

"Hi guys…" Cheryl and Dana were coming from the market each carrying a paper bag of groceries. Andy uncontrollably looked to his sister's chest and started crying with his face buried into a pillow crying his eyes out.

"What's with him?" The two sisters started passing behind the sofa for the kitchen, but then Dana paused and looked to the TV in shock.

"Oh – my – god!" She saw an image of her partially clothed older sister super-imposed over an image of a miniaturized city. Cheryl noticed the TV too now and her eyes went livid. Her jaw dropped in shock as her past returned to haunt her. Jimmy had promised that only the two of them would ever see that movie. Either he had forgot that little promise or he was still as big a jerk as she once recalled. She grabbed the remote and turned off the DVD player.

"Jim! Where did you get that!"

"Jimmy burned me a copy!" He was grinning ear-to-ear ecstatically excited over his gift. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" His tone changed as he rose up from the sofa. "Cheryl, you, me, upstairs, right now!"

"No!" She was not about to indulge his sick new fantasy. She swatted the remote from Dana's curious fingers.

"Cheryl, this a totally new size – I mean, side of you I've never seen before." She mused having something against her sister.

"Jim!" Cheryl dropped her grocery bag on to the sofa. "What if the kids had been here? This would have scarred them for years!"

"I gave them ten bucks each to go out and play!" Jim confessed.

"Look what we got!" Gracie shined as she rode a brand-new pink bike into the house. It had streamers, a little horn and a tall flag up out of the back of the seat. Coming around the dinner table and into the living room behind her was Ruby on a similar but slightly larger pink bike. Kyle was running up behind them on foot into the house.

"How much money did you give them?" Dana wanted to know.

"Yeah!" Andy rang Gracie's little bell. "These bike's usually go for a five hundred dollars each!"

"Ruby, where'd these bikes come from?" Cheryl was completely stunned.

"Yeah, where did you get the money?" Jim asked Ruby point blank.

"We went door to door and asked our neighbors to give to the needy." Ruby answered while producing the small tin cup with the rubber lid she had collected the money in. Gracie showed her cup as well. There was a tone of stunned shock from Jim, Cheryl and Dana as they realized the girls had graduated to extortion. They weren't sure of how it looked; the fact they were unaware of the bad thing they had done or of how bad it looked on them. Cheryl's jaw dropped and her eyes went into ashamed hostility. Dana covered her mouth to keep from screaming, and Jim tried to shake his head trying to disavow what he had heard. Andy was slowly backing to the front door.

"Where did you get such an idea?" Dana finally spoke.

"From Uncle Andy."

"I was kidding!" Andy screamed. "I never thought they'd do it!" He was almost out the front door.

"You turned my daughters into extortionists!" It was Jim's turn now to get angry.

"Technically, they turned into con-artists." Andy tried to rationalize the incident then turned and ran for his life when Jim charged him. Stopping at the door, Jim slammed the door on him and turned around burning and fuming.

"Jim," Cheryl was beside herself. "We're going to have to repay back all our neighbors the money they lost."

"I know!" Jim sauntered back over defeatedly and pulled his boy up to him for solace. "There goes the money from Jimmy. Say good-bye to my pool table!"

"Hey!" Kyle was playing with the remote to the DVD Player. "Mommy's in a movie!"

"NO!" Cheryl, Dana and Jim jumped for the remote ahead of Gracie and Ruby to turn the movie back off.

END