Snoring Beauty/Sleeping Ugly
Part 2: By ONE True Love, I'm Quite Sure it Means There's only ONE of Them
Jakotsu and Bankotsu explained the situation to a rather giggly Naraku, he didn't seem to mind at all that his first "born" had fallen down practically dead about an hour ago. He retold the curse to them and explained how she would be woken up, but was not all that concerned.
Jakotsu and Bankotsu shrugged, they would have to take things into their own hands they supposed.
So they took Kagura's limp body.
"Damn, this bitch needs to lose some weight," Jakotsu groaned.
Bankotsu grumbled and they finally found a little hut, convienantly it had a huge lush bed in it.
"I wonder who lives here?" Jakotsu asked curiously. "Well, then it'll be their problem- lets dump her off and go find Inuyasha," he added with a wicked grin.
As they left the forest, they ran into Sesshoumaru- the aforementioned Inuyasha's older, sexier, princely-er half brother.
"What are you two goons doing out here?" he asked, deadpan as always.
"Well, you see, Naraku's daughter pricked her finger and she was cursed so now she's dead," Bankotsu explained.
"She's not dead, she's asleep until her true love kisses her."
"Who's her true love?"
"I dunno, Bankotsu…lets find some guys and see if they wake her up."
"I think we only need one guy, Jakotsu. What do you think Kagura's perfect man is like?"
"Tall…handsome, charming, suave, strong so he could take out Naraku…. Mou…Bankotsu?"
"I have an idea…" he said, giving Sesshoumaru a look that thoroughly disturbed the silver-haired prince.
He whispered in Bankotsu's ear for a moment.
"We think you might be Kagura's one true love."
"I'm not," Sesshoumaru said with a kind of cold insistence.
"Let's just go try anyway!" Jakotsu said, grabbing Sesshoumaru and attempting to drag him to the shack where they had left Kagura.
They finally forced Sesshoumaru to the bedside of the sleeping Kagura. By this point, Kagura was snoring loudly.
"I thought it was supposed to be a death-like sleep…" Bankotsu said, confused.
"Who cares?" Jakotsu said.
Sesshoumaru stared at her for a minute.
"I'm not kissing her," Sesshoumaru said flatly.
"Why not!" Jakotsu whined.
"Because she's snoring, also- in the .000000000000001 percentchance I am her true love, she'll wake up and think I was trying to take advantage of her while she was dead…" he explained rationally.
"Yah…that sounds like Kagura. But that proves it!"
"…What?" Bankotsu asked his companion.
"He's never met her, yet her knows exactly how she'll react to the kiss of her one-true-love."
Finally, Jakotsu got impatient and shoved poor Sesshoumaru on top of the sleeping princess, and by the tiniest of chances, his lips grazed hers for hardly a second, he was attempting to get off of her when her crimson eyes slowly opened.
"YOU FILTHY PERVERY!" she screamed, her hand flailing, looking to smack him. Then she looked around. "Hey…I'm alive. Who are you?"
"Sesshoumaru," he said coldly, having just avoided the bitch-slap of the crazy wench who was supposed to be his "one true love".
"And you woke me up?"
"So you're my 'one true love'?"
"I suppose that's the case."
Kagura thought for a second and then nodded, getting out of her bed.
"How long was I asleep?"
Jakotsu looked at his watch. "Oh…an hour or two."
Kagura studied Sesshoumaru for a long minute, and then grabbed his arm. "Well, Sesshoumaru, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
"If beautiful friendships begin with someone trying to bitch slap me and calling me a 'fucking pervert'…I don't want anything to do with 'beautiful friendships'," he replied dryly.
"Well, the script calls for a kiss and a 'happily ever after', so we could at least try to be friends."
"I'm not kissing you, I don't want to be slapped."
"Damnit, don't be so fucking stubborn about it!" she snapped, sounding irritated. "How else are we going to defeat my no good father?"
"Let's not and say we did," he replied coolly.
She grabbed him gently by the hair and pulled him to her, kissing him quickly then walking a few feet ahead.
And they lived happily ever after.
"Why do you keep saying that?" Kagura asked the narrator.
Because its how the story is supposed to end, so don't ask questions.