Neon Genesis Evangelion is the property of GAINAX

This is an unauthorized amateur fan fiction and is not

affiliated with the owners in any way.

Authors note:

This one is a little dark.

And may not be suitable for younger or more sensitive people.

Reader desecration is advised.

Nightmare Tears

The cell is cold with a dank smell of must. Lit only with a single small incandescent bulb. The gloom of this place is penetrating, heart breaking. It is the last tragic place that a human being will see in their life if they are confined here. No cheer, no comfort only the certainty death and dark gray enveloping steel reinforced concrete. This is the last holding cell that the condemned would ever see.

Not even a clock to mark the final passage of time before the end of all things. Just a simple bed with a blanket and pillow, if you are here, you have no further value to the human race at all.

At least the linen smelled as if it were clean. Rei Ayanami thought to her self sadly. I wish that I could have said good by to Shinji she thought even more sadly.

She heard the clank of the deadbolt on the cell door cycle and the door opened with an eerie creek. With her face buried in her pillow she only heard the stainless steel cart being wheeled in.

"This will be easer for you if you don't resist" The large female guard commanded in an emotionless voice.

Rei felt her underwear being removed by impersonal hands sheathed in latex gloves, followed by the insertion of a tampon to prevent her from defecating at her final moment. She was then roughly hauled to a setting position the pillow, her only comfort, falling away from her.

"If you take the pill I won't have to give you an injection." The guard said coldly. Then handed Rei a small paper cup containing a yellow antihistamine pill.

She accepted it. In her life long involvement with NERV Rei Ayanami had taken many pills, this last one was of no consequence. After draining the plastic cup of its water she handed it back.

She was allowed to keep nothing.

The guard's left with out another word, she was not worth any words. The cell door slammed closed and locked with an echoing thud.

She was alone again with her head buried in her pillow wishing Shinji could save her.

Perhaps an hour later the cell door opened once again and two large emotionless male guards entered. They seized Ayanami leading her away through the door into the dimly lit hallway. As she walked under their firm grip she felt the cold concrete floor on her bare feet.

Even slippers had been denied her.

Rei was lead into the room at the end of the short hallway. As she entered the door slammed shut and locked behind her with a loud thud and clank. The room was white with recessed florescent lights. On two of the walls were large windows arraigned so that opposing witnesses would not have to face each other. The curtains were drawn closed and would remain so.

No one would witness this.

She would die alone.

Rei Ayanami would fade from existence in the minds of all.

Near the center of the room was a couch of sorts setting on a pedestal bolted to the floor. It was lightly padded, its purpose was not comfort, the arm rests jutted out at an angle. Four guards were positioned around it waiting to perform their grim duty. Their task was to strap her down helplessly. Then prepare her to be put to death.

She was lead to the couch and lifted to set on the edge by one of her escorts. The other shoved her hard in the chest deliberately knocking her off balance. Her head bounced when it hit the cushion.

Immediately many hands gripped her wrists and ankles and she felt the thick heavy leather straps close down on her tender flesh. Her simple orange prison dress was callously tossed up exposing her. She felt the catheter enter leaving a burning sensation and an odd feeling of need to urinate. She may have she wasn't sure. Her dress was carelessly flipped back to cover her. She was grateful for this small token of humanity.

Now she felt the familiar chill of alcohol evaporating on her left arm. The chemicals were thick so the needle was very large Rei winced in pain as the needle pierced her skin traveling deep into her vein.

As she lay there immobilized staring at this unfamiliar ceiling she could feel the cold saline traveling up her arm toward her heart. The first chemical would be injected very soon.

"Will I feel it?" She wondered

"I do not wish this." Was her last hopeless thought.

Blackness enveloped her, a vast expanse like the vacuum of space.

She saw herself as a key held in the hand of Gendo Ikari. He had a sadistic grin on his face as he inserted her into the lock of a door then discarded her as a useless expended tool. An object of no further value.

A seen resolved around her she was standing in a street observing a young man at a public telephone. She recognized him it was Shinji Ikari.

Whiteness. Like a blank page of instrumentality, no up, no down she floated in a sea of blank white. Followed by multiple colors, scents and emotions.

Rei felt her self expand across the universe and yet she was a tiny dot in a sea of nothingness. She saw before her the dummy plug apparatus with its huge brain like structure flowing down to a slender transparent tube. With in the nude form of herself with a thin content smile set on her lips, eyes closed.

Ayanami now saw surrounding her tens of dozens of Rei Ayanami's incubating in Lilith's blood. They were calling to her, mocking her. You possess a false soul they laughed at her. They began to cry out in pain falling to oblivion, as they broke apart dieing.

Rei Ayanami sat strait up in bed, her ruby eyes glazed. She was shaking violently, drenched in sweat and it was still pouring profusely from her. Her blue hair soaking wet and matted.

She let forth a blood-curtailing scream at the top of her lungs in absolute terror. Then curled into a fetal ball as she began to sob uncontrollably.

Rei cried out into the semi darkness of her room. "Shinji I need you! Please help me!"

Quietly "Do not abandon me." Then returned to her river of tears.

Moments later there was the loud crash of a door being breached. It had been kicked in so hard that it nearly broke off the hinges. Ayanami's security detail had heard her cry out in the night and the four men poured into her apartment with their nine-millimeter semiautomatic pistols drawn. Poised to cut down any threat to there charge.

Two of the men located Rei in bed and took up defensive positions protecting her. The other two fanned out to sweep for intruders checking every room, turning on lights as they went; they left no stone left unturned.

Satisfied that the apartment was clear they began to assess the situation. Now dim window light was augmented with the twin overhead florescent tubes. The security men saw the first child curled forward in a ball crying. Drenched in sweat, bed sheet soaked as well as her mattress. They called section two HQ for instructions. Then waited for the ambulance to arrive.

One of the men must have had a daughter of his own because he wrapped the shattered trembling young woman in a clean dry blanket and was embracing her as a father would. Rocking her gently stroking her hair. He whispered softly to her again and again. That it was only a bad dream. That it would be all right.

Authors note:

Sorry about how dark this was but I needed to establish a reason to push Rei and Shinji together. This is a nightmare where Rei's mind carries out her death wish and then forces her to confront what she really is. A clone with a conciseness impressed on it. Things will get better, I promise.

This is an unfinished element of a chapter that I am developing for an alternate ending of NGE and would like to get some feed back on how I'm doing. Please R&R Thanks