Home
By Jules

Author's Note and Summary: This little angsty story takes place after they find out who the daddy is. I've written alot of fanfic before--mostly for GH and Dr. Quinn (I know, random two things to write for, right?) One thing you also should know--I flove angst. Feedback is always appreciated.

This is rated...PGish... I suppose.

Part 1

She felt numb. As they padded down the empty hallway together, all she could picture were shattered glass slippers and oversized pumpkins awaiting them in the real world. His shoulder brushed hers, and the side of his hand caressed hers, but she didn't dare reach for it. She had her baby to the think of, and if she took his hand again, she knew she wouldn't let go of it.

They pushed on the heavy hospital doors, and the night air hit them both like a fierce slap in the face. He was supposed to be at a conference in Chicago; another lie. Sometimes he didn't know what the truth was anymore, except when he was with her, but now…. Even their solid dream world was gone.

She walked ahead of him, and he watched her, waiting. And then he saw it. He knew it, just as the thunder crackled above them—her face dropped into her hands, as she hid everything she was feeling in a single moment. He reached for her hand, but she stepped back before he could touch her.

Phyllis shook her head resolutely, "Go home, Nick."

Her words were cold, not matching the rimmed sadness of her eyes. "But I said—"

She closed her eyes, wishing she didn't care. Didn't want. Didn't need. "Just go home."

The rain began to fall, to cut between them. This was right, this was final. He should be relieved. Happy. He could go back to his real life. He could leave her without any regrets. But she wouldn't look at him, and goodbye wouldn't come. He had to know. He had to touch her. "You believed me, right?"

His words cut hard through her. She couldn't do this. She couldn't play games anymore with him. "What does it matter? We were never—"

"But we're here. I'm here."

Did he even know what he was saying? They were too much alike sometimes—they didn't think. They just did. She pushed on his chest. She couldn't do this again. Not unless… Unless what? What did she expect? "And you should go home."

He knew she was right. But what they had… What they had—it had a name. It had a place. They couldn't erase it. "Home. What should I call this?"

Phyllis looked down dejectedly. Second choice. She knew exactly what she was. The sky broke down on them, and she welcomed the rain with pained laughter. "A pit stop. A diversion. My God, we don't even have a roof, Nick!"

"I can't just leave you here!" He lifted his voice over the rain, shocking them both.

Phyllis stepped back. She had to get away from this, away from him. She couldn't pretend anymore. "This isn't your problem anymore. You have a family, Nick, and we're not a part of it—"

"Yes you are! I'm not going to lose you!" His eyes pierced through hers as he took her shoulders in his hands, and for a moment, she fell into the darkest night.

"I was never yours to lose—" She protested, but her body, even the life inside of her, cried out as his lips crashed down upon hers, and she was back again in their spiraling dream, falling as their mouths melted and tongues danced deceptively, and for a moment, she was home.

He broke away and whispered, "You know I love you."

"But not enough." She opened her eyes, finding his clearly above hers. The rain didn't matter. "I'm right, aren't I? To give up everything you've loved for the past eleven years? And Noah. I know you. In the end, it's too much to lose."

A moment passed, but it was too much. Hesitation was too much. She smiled sadly, stopping him before he could speak. "Please. You don't have to say anything. We're going to be fine. Do it for me. Please. Go home, Nick."

He nodded almost unconsciously. That was enough for her. She had to get away.

And he stood there in the rain, watching her disappear in the darkness. But he couldn't move. They weren't his family. So why did he feel like he lost his home?