"No matter what path in life you have walked, I shall save you from it.

Because you said you loved me and my hairy ass." -Gintama (manga)

Honestly, WTF? It's the most freakin' random quote I've ever heard and yet it was the engine that helped me start this fic. Standard disclaimers apply; characters belong to Kishimoto.

This was dedicated to somebody but she didn't want this fic because it wasn't a one-shot. Hugs to Jacq for helping me choose the title!


"Hair Apparent"

After a particularly long month full of solo missions and the like, it felt good to be back home in Konoha. Tsunade had decided to award Hinata with a trip to an onsen for a job well done, and the newly appointed Jounin was more than happy to know she'd be pampered for a few hours.

She was grateful for the lack of patrons at this particular site- Hinata was still a very modest young woman and preferred to bathe alone. Seeing that she had an opportunity to soak in the nude (as opposed to wearing a towel in the springs), she slowly disrobed and stepped into the water, quietly moaning her joy at its soothing temperature. Piling her long locks loosely atop her head, she waded into the middle of the steamy hot spring towards a small waterfall, blissfully unaware of the pair of eyes that hungrily followed her every movement.

A few moments later her stalker stealthily pursued her into the water and attacked.

"AAIIIEEEEEE!" she screamed, eyes opening in utter horror and astonishment.

Her breasts had just been GROPED! She quickly turned her head as the pitter-patter of wet footsteps faded in the distance. Quickly activating her Byakugan, she could clearly make out an outline of the fleeing sexual deviant, wearing naught but a white towel strapped around his waist. She couldn't see the person's head or any other distinguishable features. It seemed her anonymous perpetrator would get off unpunished for his crime.

And then it happened.

The towel dropped, as did her jaw.

The pervert who felt her up had a h-a-i-r-y ass!

All thoughts of continuing her spa date went up in smoke. Hinata quickly put on her clothes and ran off to report her case to Tsunade.


Next chapter (if there is one)- Kiba and Shino play detective.
Can you BELIEVE this is going to be a chapter fic? I think I'm still in denial.

Review if you like, stay away if you don't like.