Plot: There's something that nobody ever knew about Snape, but now all is revealed! Will everyone be sane when they find out the secret?

Pure act of insanity. A friend is semi obsessed with the potions master, and I'm always debating the world of the absurd when it comes to him. I just had to get this typed, for my sanity at least.

I know, this is outside of my usual fic concepts, but my interests vary. And with that semi obsessed fangirl friend of could I not write something about him?

Anyways, enjoy this lil' one shot. No slash involved, although the result is slightly disturbing. Hope y'all get a kick out of my literal madness ;)

Mara (jadeflower82)


All was quiet; eleven at night, a week night at that. The halls of the great magic school Hogwarts were quiet, odd…

As was usual, a couple of the well known characters of the story of Harry were restless, and what better way to kill some time, and sanity, then to explore uncharted, or just undesirably located (either by geographical locale or just the fact that some disturbing persons resided there) areas of the great school?

Two such fellows to be foolish enough to venture on that quiet week night, the eve before a great test, and the end result was never pretty in their wildest dreams.

The fellows being Ron Weasely and a well thoroughly convinced pal Harry, made their way through the halls, in hopes of making some wondrous discovery, or something to use to their advantage in a positive sense.

They would discover none of that; none at all. What they would discover would shock, and definitely, disturb them.

The hallways shifted and jumbled with the magic the structure possessed, leading them in many circles. They would eventually come to a part of the vast complex they'd never hoped to visit: teacher's quarters.

A long twisted dark hallway it be, seeming almost foreboding in a way to make them want to retrace their steps. No such action was made, instead they chose to continue on. Maybe a discovery of great sorts lay ahead in the quarters of a teacher or mentor.

Or not.

Dumbledore's was first in a long narrow hall shrouded in darkness and shadows. The door was closed, but sort of inviting. Neither boy made an effort to explore the head honcho's room; that would be wrong on so many levels.

Besides, they respected the guy too much. Why tamper with a guy's stuff who has done nothing but good for your account?

Several other rooms were passed by the two wandering students; with pretty much the same result as the first. The residents of those rooms held high respect from the two boys.

At the end of the long narrow stairway stood one lone room, more foreboding then any other along the trek. The wood of the door had twisted knots in it, and the plaque marking the identity of the inhabitant was old, almost decrepit, and in a written form that was way beyond creepy.

Yup, you guessed it; it was the room of the great, mysterious—and slightly scary, potions master, Snape.

The very thought of what lay beyond that door brought nightmarish images to their heads, almost making them want to retrace their steps and check out a more pleasant section of the great Hogwarts.

But curiosity overtook them, and they were very hesitant to leave just then.

"Do we really know all that much about Severus Snape?" Ron asked his pal Harry in a hushed tone. "It might be kind of interesting to intru—investigate the good potions master's room in an attempt to get to know him better."

"It might be interesting to see another side of his personality," Harry observed. "Maybe we can check it out, just this once."

"You first then," Ron told his friend.

"Why should I go first?" Harry questioned his pal.

"Because you're braver than me," Ron pointed out. "And you're more on his good side. He'd practically rip me to shreds."

"Whatever Ron," Harry conceded. Hesitantly he approached the creepy door, taking the antiqued doorknob in his right hand and turning it slowly.

It was a move they would regret highly later.

The door opened slowly, and the two boys took notice of a pale yellow glow emanating just beyond it.

Crap, he's in there

Even with that fact, they treaded on, pushing the door open to full capacity.

To their utter horror, they caught the source of the pale yellow glow, as well as something else.

The source of the glow was an old heat lamp, and that other thing?

Snape. Under the heat lamp. Razor in hand. Shaving his legs.

Oh, beyond disturbing. It looked like the great potions master was readying himself for a tanning session, and the two boys caught halfway through the process.

Oh, the utter horror. Their mouths agape, eyes at their widest, the sight of nightmares laying just before them…it took them several moments to come to terms with it, and when they did, they went running, screaming the whole way.

And all Snape could say to it:

"I really need to get a secure lock for that freaking door. It gets more aggravating with each student intrusion."

Let's just say nobody saw the great Severus the same way after that.

The End


As I said, madness. Hopefully this wasn't too disturbing. Let me know what you thought. I love to know that my madness wasn't wasted. :P