Telephone Call

Summary: Short, and, um...short.

Rating: I have absolutely no idea, so I'll go for a PG13.

Disclaimer: The won't let me have the characters!! Voodoo dolls are in the process of being created.

Author's Notes: I wrote this on a Sunday, the night before my English exam, and you can kinda tell I was having a writer's block issue. I decided to do this before a sequel to Unavoiadable Secrets, because I can't even think of a title for that let alone a storyline. So (daa da dah!!) the final result.

Dear Tommy,
Tonight I called you to tell you that I still love you. That after two years of purposeful silence, I can't imagine any kind of life without you in it anymore.

You weren't home. All I got was some impersonal machine, telling me your family was unavailable, and to please leave a message after the tone.

I didn't leave a message. I hung up after the tone, and I know that's annoying but I couldn't help it.

I haven't spoken to you or seen you in two years, but I never stopped caring. There was another guy, but I was wrong, he wasn't my soulmate and could never hold a candle to you.

I really needed to speak to you tonight, to tell you what's gone wrong for me over the past two years. You have absolutely no idea what has been going on in my life these days, and I'm not even sure that I want to explain.

Some part of me tells me that you were out with Kat. I know what you have? had? with her, and I respect it, I just don't like it. Still, I suppose that's neither here nor there anymore. I let you go for a cheap replacement, and now I have to deal with it.

Except I'm not that good at dealing these days.

By the time you read this...hopefully you'll know what I've done. Hopefully someone will have found me.

As a cancer patient for the last two years, I have a fully stocked medicine cabinet. As soon as I put this letter in the mail, I plan on consuming the entire contents of it.

I can't live with the empty shell of a person I've become, I can't cope with relying on people for every little thing that I used to take for granted. Even the most expensive of treatment can't save me. I want to do this now, so people can say that at least I still had a few shreds of dignity left when I ended it.

Why weren't you home?

Have you any idea how badly I needed to hear your voice one last time, to say how sorry I was for things that have gone before?

But I guess I'll just have to go into the next world without hearing your gorgeous voice one last time.

And now is my chance to say that I'm sorry.

I never wanted to hurt you, but it was the only option that I had.

There are going to be questions asked about this, but I don't think anyone will be able to answer them. All I know is at this moment I don't think I've ever been so lonely in my entire life. No friends here, no family. I leave alone.

But I didn't want to go before reminding you of one thing.

No matter where I end up, I will always love you.

Okay, I'm going to go before I chicken out of this. I'll put this in my mailbox to be picked up tomorrow morning, and no-one will be any the wiser.

Could you please do one thing for me. Could you tell everyone that I didn't want it to be this way. I wanted you to be there when I rang, I wanted you to be there to talk me out of this, to reassure me that I will make it out of this mess alive. But you weren't, and in the immortal words of Nine Days, we all end up alone.

So...I guess I might see you sometime in the afterlife.

Kim (I was going to put the one and only, but then it dawned that in about 15 minutes there won't be any more me. Why am I doing this?)

A/Notes (again): I know it's rubbish, so don't flame me. And no comments about inaccuracy please, I have 2 close relatives who have gone through this. I may do a sequel in which it turns out her suicide attempt was unsuccessful. Do you want it? Let me know please.