Title: Wedding
Author: PaperButterfly
Pairings: Tamaki/Haruhi of course!
Rating: PG 13
Its Haruhi's wedding day… and she doesn't even know.

DISCLAIMER: If I owned this, Tamaki and Haruhi would have been married with thirteen children. Unfortunately, they aren't married, and nor do they have thirteen kids. So we must all assume that I do not own Bisco Hatori's creation. Nor am I Bisco Hatori. If I were… well, really, there would be no need for me to make a pointless fanfiction.

Chapter One
In Which the King Relays His Brilliant Idea

"Lord, it's really a stupid idea," the Hitachiin twins were saying simultaneously, one on each side of the King's side, their arms draped over the chair's back, equal sadistic grins on their faces.

The King, also known as Tamaki Suoh, waved their worries away with his hand, crossing his legs at the same time. He cocked his head to the side, blonde bangs falling to cover his eyes. The grand design of the chair he sat in appearing behind his head as he leaned to the left, making it seem as if it were a throne made of gold. "You all must have more faith in me!" he declared dramatically, closing his violet eyes before opening them just as quickly, staring directly at Honey, Mori, and Kyouya, who all stood before him in a line of susceptible subjects, though their expressions differed. Honey, of course, looked as cute as a button (or maybe something cuter, for those of you who dislike buttons) while Mori looked as stoic as ever (and terribly handsome too). Kyouya, of course, looked quite calm, too calm, though a flash of irritation passed by his face lightening fast.

He stared at the King for a moment before sighing and opening up his notebook, scribbling something down in its pages. "You're ideas are completely prone to failure and I have decided that you are unable to make any sense."

The King gasped, hurt, violet eyes beginning to water. "But this idea will work, I assure you! And, think of it, our customers would love to see such a great—" He wasn't allowed to finish.

"Will there be cake?" Honey asked, his beautiful, large eyes watering in anticipation, his mouth set in a line as he gripped his shirt. He seemed to be floating in the air, his eagerness giving him super human powers.

The King nodded fervently, smiling widely. "Of course! A wedding is not a wedding without a cake!"

Honey broke into a huge smile as he pranced around the room, singing, "Cake, cake, cake!" loudly even as Mori followed him to make sure the "young" boy did not trip on a banana peel and break his lovely face. Those banana peels were beginning to become a problem for the Host Club… but that's another story.

Hikaru, the older twin, merely shook his head. "Actually, Lord, a wedding is not a wedding without the bride." He wiggled his eyebrow suggestively, nodding at the King.

"I'm not dressing up as a girl this time!" Kaoru, the younger twin, declared.

Tamaki laughed wholeheartedly, eyes sparkling. "Now, now, no need to worry my fellow subjects! I have our bride!"

The original five members of the Host Club (not including Tamaki, of course, seeing as he was the one relaying the information and not the one receiving it) stopped what they were doing to stare at the mad King, trying to figure out if what he was saying could possibly be true. Honey was also thinking about cake, and sweets, and strawberries…

"Not…" Hikaru breathed, eyes widening.

"She'll never agree," Kyouya said, scribbling furiously into the notorious notebook that is ever present in any of the Club's doings. Hopefully, though, the notebook did not find itself accompanying Kyouya to the restroom, seeing as that would be far too awkward, even for an inanimate object.

"Not even for ootoro," Kaoru agreed, nodding, coming to stand by his brother's side.

For a moment, Tamaki flew to his corner of dejection, striking the pose of an ignored host, as he usually did when he was rejected and completely ignored. He brooded for a few minutes, having the Host members stare at him curiously. Then he stood and turned around to face the other five members.

The King winked at them, settling back into his chair, his eyes regaining their usual sparkle. "That is why, subjects, she will not know."

Haruhi had been ushered into a dark room somewhere in the Third Music Room the moment she had entered. She was in a cramped corner, tied to a chair, mouth gagged and stuffed with a cotton rag that tasted a bit like peppermint. Although the scene and predicament should have frightened her more, she was more angry than upset and terrified. She was also an unusual girl, and the things girls were usually upset and terrified over were usually things she could take quite calmly. And she was much better with anger.

And torment.

The moment those twins return, she was thinking, gritting her teeth against the cotton ball thrust into her mouth, I'm going to peel their skin off. It was most definitely a violent thought, but she believed the two Little Devils to be deserving of such treatment. In the back of her mind, she also believed the Idiot (or King, whatever it was he called himself those days) was behind this. The twins, however clever, would not specifically set out to kidnap her unless the precious leader of the Host Club had set them to it.

Haruhi remained that way (tied and gagged, not so violent!) for a few more minutes before a door opened and a sliver of light peeked through, lighting up the remainder of the room, illuminating some mannequins in the other corner. Two pairs of footsteps echoed around the room and Haruhi had to squint her eyes to figure out who were the people coming to bother her at such a stressful time.

"Ha-ru-hi!" came the voices of the two twins, who she was already imagining walking around skinless. She also imagined the customers screaming in delight at seeing the twins in "new attire."

"We're here to rescue you," Hikaru explained, taking a pose by her right side, hands placed triumphantly on his hips.

"But," Kaoru began, "you have to agree to some conditions first."

Haruhi glared at the two and began to speak only to notice that they were not going to understand a word she was going to say (though she was sure they understood that they were not very pleasant words what with the way her eyes were dangerously narrowed).

Hikaru sighed and untied the handkerchief around her mouth then proceeded to remove the cotton rag ball used to silence her further.

"How can you be rescuing me if you were the ones who put me in here in the first place?"

"Technicalities," Kaoru said, dismissing her accusation with a roll of his eyes. "We're really here to speak business."

"We're planning to put on a play," Hikaru explained, his face close to Haruhi's, his lips near her ears. His hot breath tickled her slightly, making her eyes widen.

"And we need you to participate," Kaoru continued, his own face near Haruhi's other cheek, his lips breathing near her ears, ruffling the tiny hairs that were tucked behind it.

She grunted. "No."

Hikaru shrugged and straightened himself out, Kaoru following. "I suppose we just can't help then," the older brother explained, moving towards the wall where the door had opened earlier, though it was closed now.

"Get me out of here!" Haruhi yelled after the brothers as Kaoru nodded and began walking to his brother.

"You have to agree," Kaoru told her, smirking devilishly, eyes depicting all sorts of evils.

"It's going to be embarrassing," Haruhi said, taking on the look she wore as she analyzed and thought of things. "So no."

"Then no can do," both brothers said. Hikaru already had his hand on the doorknob and it was ready to turn.

Haruhi was thinking frantically. If it was a play, there would be dressing up and most probably a ridiculous script constructed by the Hitachiin brothers and Kyouya. Grimacing as she remembered the love letter "she" had given Toru, the man who was heir to a great teacup making company, she quickly shook off the idea of agreeing.

"I can't," she said, struggling to free her hands from the binds before they opened the door and locked her in. Again.

The brothers shrugged.

In a last effort, Haruhi called out, "Is it Tamaki-senpai's idea?"

The brothers nodded in unison, their eyes revealing how bored they were of the game they had only begun.

"Then it's most definitely a no."

Then the brothers left, leaving Haruhi alone in her darkness (and now, despair).

AN: Hello there, fellow Ouran High School Host Club fans! Another story for you all to enjoy (although it is not as good as many others that are offered here on this wonderful fan fiction place.

This is my first Ouran Host Club fanfic (once you're done frying me on an open fire, please dunk me in barbeque sauce, as I believe I will taste much better) so do not be so harsh, although I would love some feed back. The characters are a little off, but I tried to remain true to these wonderfully silly characters.

I only watch the anime and have never (ever, ever, ever, ever) picked up the manga. Nor do I plan to.

Aright, onto the reviews! Reviews make me happy. No reviews make me sad. This make Andy-chan angry, and so Andy-chan will probably do something very, very bad.