Disclaimer: STILL not mine. If it was, Sasori wouldn't be a puppet. Though he's cool that way.

Warning: The longest thing I've ever written, and, coincidentally, YAOI. That's right. Shonen ai, yaoi, boy/boy, whatever. To be specific, SasoDei, with GRAPHIC YAOINESS. Don't like, get the hell outta here, and don't complain. It'll only make you look stupid.


Sasori snatched up the scroll from the chest that Deidara had blown open with one of his clay spiders. He checked the seal, and tucked it into the deep pocket on the inside of his robes and turned away. "We're leaving. This is the scroll."

His partner nodded, watching him. "Back through the way we came, or can we go out in style, un?"

The red head pointed to the wall with the window. "Whatever you like. Flying?"

Deidara scowled and crossed his arms. "You never take me seriously, un," he complained. "Do you always think that I only like to fly, un?"

"Hai," Sasori said. "You are planning to, aren't you?"

"…Hai."

"Well then," the Iwa nin's partner pointed out, "there you are."

Deidara stuck his tongue out at him.


Deidara was obsessed with Sasori. It was as simple as that.

Despite the fact that his motto was "Fine art is something that lasts only briefly (un)," he truly believed that Sasori, someone not so short lived, was an example of fine art.

Starting as a liking, going through a crush, and making its way to obsession, was how it had happened. It all came down to this: if there was ever an Akasuna no Sasori fanclub, his blonde partner would have joined it without a second thought. Or blown up all the members out of jealousy.

Luckily, to sate his obsession, as the unknowing person's partner, he was able to be with the object of his affections almost constantly. This helped a lot, but it was also one hell of a pain to keep it secret when he had a hard-on.

The next few days after the raid on the Earth daimyo's castle, spent making their way back to the hideout, were quiet. In the few villages they passed through no one recognized them, and no hunter nin ran into them either. This made for a leisurely time back, used in their forever ongoing debate over true fine art.

At the hideout's entrance, they separated. Deidara to collect more clay from the nearby riverbank, Sasori to take their possessions inside and turn over the stolen scroll.

Now that they had arrived back at the base, they would not be spending as much time together like they would be on a mission. Deidara didn't like it, but he didn't hate it, either. With separate rooms, he had a bit more privacy.

Dumping the clay off by his bed, he got rid of his clothes and took a long, hot shower. The inns they stayed in didn't have very good showers, as they had been rather run down, and the blonde had avoided stepping in to them. Here he had no qualms. The hot water stripped away dirt, sweat, and Kami knows what else, and cleared his mind, allowing him to think- as he always did- about his red haired partner.

Even if Sasori was half puppet, half human, he was still incredibly hot. Just the thought caused Deidara to shiver. Though his partner's chest, arms, and legs were all artificial, wood and metal and wire, he was still the most incredible thing the blonde had seen.

Truly, fine art.


Sasori walked to the kitchen. He might be half puppet, he still needed food. All his organic parts needed food. And he was hungry.

Itachi was alone in the kitchen. "Ah," he commented coolly. "Sasori. Mission went well?"

The puppeteer nodded. "Finished quickly. My partner didn't insist on blowing up everything in our way this time."

"Restrained yourself quite well, have you?" He sounded amused. "Just going to silently watch him, aren't you?" He offered the red head a cup of green tea.

Sasori accepted the proffered cup and took a small sip. He liked green tea.

"Yes," he replied shortly. "It's doubtful that he feels anymore than that for a partner. No, I will not do anything."

"Kakuzu's planning on making a move on him," remarked Itachi. Sasori choked. "He said that if you aren't going to do anything, he might as well have the blonde be something useful."

"He wouldn't dare," Sasori seethed furiously, sitting up straight and almost spilling his tea. "Deidara's mine! I'll kill him if he does!"

"But you refuse to do anything," Itachi said calmly, "so your claims don't mean anything."

The other slowly sank back into his seat, practically growling, mulling over this logic. Itachi sipped his tea.


A hot shower and a change of clothes later, Deidara made his way to the room that served as a kitchen. Hopefully, he thought, he'd find something to eat. His stomach growled in agreement. It had been a long time since lunch.

Coming in to the small chamber, he was surprised to see Itachi and Sasori calmly sipping what looked like green tea. They appeared to have been having a conversation that he had clearly just interrupted.

"Er… I'm hungry, un," he said in explanation as the two stared at him. Sasori shrugged and muttered a soft "Fine," and took a drink of tea, draining his cup. He set it down, bowed politely to Itachi, and left.

Deidara didn't notice until after several seconds had passed that he was staring at the place his partner had left from. He glanced at Itachi, who was coolly watching him, and turned and rifled through the cupboards.

He had pulled out a small bag of rice and some dried fish when Itachi said, "You like him, don't you?"

"Nani?" the artist said quickly, startled.

Itachi looked faintly satisfied, though it was hard to tell. "Hmm," he said. He closed his eyes and went back to drinking his tea.

Deidara stared at him for a moment, much like he had done with Sasori, and turned back to the rice. He pulled out a small, thick pot and poured in some water, rinsed the rice out three times, as was his habit, and put the whole mess on the tiny stove the leader had had installed. He opened the pack of fish, and started eating some while he waited.

Itachi finished his tea and brought his and Sasori's cups to the sink, where he washed them quickly and methodically. He dried them and put them back up in the cupboard.

"He likes you too." The Konoha missing nin left.

Deidara stared after, for the third time in ten minutes.


The artist made his way back to his room, stopping briefly to greet Hidan and Kisame, who appeared to be playing shogi. Hidan was employing the same tactic as usual- kill everything you can.

He continued on, mulling over what Itachi had said. He likes you too. Did Itachi-san really mean that about Sasori-danna, or was he just amusing himself at Deidara's expense? It was hard to say.

Passing by Zetsu's room, he was hailed by Tobi.

"Deidara-san, could you give Sasori-san a message from Zetsu-san? Zetsu-san says that if Sasori-san continues to annoy him with the body puppets that he cannot eat, he will have to so something drastic. He's tired of eating the mailmen who come by."

"Sure, un," Deidara said politely. "I'll pass on the message, un. Though I doubt Sasori-danna will do anything."

Tobi winced. "Just tell him, please, Deidara-san," he replied sounding a little strained. He went back into Zetsu's room.

Noting to himself to pass on the message later, the artist walked further down the corridor to his room. Past Itachi's room… that was Kisame's… and just as he was about to pass Kakuzu's room, he was stopped yet again.

"Hey blondie," Kakuzu said, blocking his way.

Deidara blinked. He had never been addressed as "blondie" before.

"Hai-" he was suddenly cut off as the taller man bent down and kissed him.

He jaw dropped and the other took full advantage, deepening the kiss. Deidara made a strangled sound and tried to get away, but Kakuzu, being a lot stronger, gripped his arms hard enough to bruise. Eyes wide, the smaller tried to yank away again and failed. A knee parted his legs, and he was pushed against a wall.

"What is going on here?" A cold voice cut through everything else. Kakuzu pulled away, glaring at the puppet master who had interrupted him.

Shock and fear ran through the blonde. Of all people to see this, it would have to be his partner. Shaking his head furiously, he babbled. "Sasori-danna, I didn't start it, he just came on to me and-"

"Quiet," Sasori snapped. He took Deidara's wrist in his hand and began to lead him away.

"Oi," Kakuzu said, annoyed. "You can't do that!"

Words clipped, Sasori rapped out, "Yes I can." He pulled his partner away with him, making his way down the hall.

When they were three rooms down and around a corner, Deidara got his mouth working again. "Sasori-danna, I didn't do it, I swear!" he pleaded. "He just- blocked me, and…"

He trailed off. Sasori stopped with a sigh and turned to face him.

"I didn't think you wanted it," he said coolly, "so I stopped it. I do not blame you for anything. Now calm down."

Deidara gulped. He hesitated, then pulled his partner into a brief hug, muttering a soft "arigato," and running off to his room. Sasori stayed in one spot, looking shocked.


They next few days were routine for Deidara. Screw around with Kisame, annoy Itachi by eating a lot of dango and not sharing, avoid Kakuzu at all costs. Sasori he saw infrequently, usually in conversations with Itachi in one of their rooms. Deidara wasn't overly concerned- Kisame would brutally kill anyone who made a move on Itachi, if Itachi didn't torture them to death first- but that didn't stop him from being jealous. Thus, he glared at Itachi whenever Itachi wouldn't notice.

It was only after seeing Tobi again, who reminded him of the message he had promised to pass on- the encounter with Kakuzu had driven it clear out of his mind- that he actually had a chance to speak to his partner.

"Kisame-san, un, have you seen Sasori-danna?" he asked the Kiri nin.

Kisame looked up from the board of shogi. "Eh… I think he was in the kitchen a few minutes ago. Cooking something, I think."

Deidara nodded. "Arigato," he said cheerfully, and walked to the kitchen. True to the word, the red head was cooking something. It looked like he was making gyoza, as illustrated by the sound of hissing oil and a flat pan with golden-brown dumplings frying on the stove.

Sasori stood over them rather protectively, occasionally poking them with a pair of cooking chopsticks. He looked up when Deidara came in. "Yes?"

The blonde shifted uncomfortably, eyeing the dumplings. "Er, Tobi-kun said he had a message from Zetsu-san to give to you, un… something about 'annoying him with body puppets that he can't eat' and 'doing something drastic,' un. Oh, and something about not liking about forever eating the mailman, un."

The red head looked bored. "He doesn't like eating the mailman?"

Deidara shrugged, and continued to eye the gyoza.

Sasori began to carefully pick them out of the pan and lay them on a plate nearby. Finished, he took the pan over to the sink and left it there, clearly intent on eating the food before cleaning up. He paused, snagged a much smaller plate from the cupboard, and carefully transferred three of the golden-brown dumplings onto it. This he handed to Deidara.

"Oh! Er… arigato, Sasori-danna," the artist said happily. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks and sat down next to Sasori, stuffing the first one in his mouth.

His face turned red as the heat from the just-out-of-the-pan pot stickers burned the roof of his mouth. He swallowed hastily, and felt the food drop burning all the way to his stomach. The Iwa nin sat there gasping, trying to cool off his mouth.

Glancing at his partner, he thought he saw a slight smile. He glared.

"You're supposed to wait until they cool down," the Suna nin said.

Deidara stuck his tongue out at him. Sasori grinned and passed over his glass of water. "This should cool it down."

The blonde took the offered glass and downed it, sighing in relief as the liquid soothed the burnt tissue. He slapped the empty glass down on the table.

His partner looked very amused. He reached across the blonde and picked up the glass, standing up and going over to the sink to refill it. Deidara prodded the other two, picked one up, blew on it several times (causing Sasori to snicker), and ate it. He wolfed down the other one, and stared at Sasori's plate, which was still untouched.

"Iie," the puppeteer said. "They're mine."

Deidara pulled on the puppy-dog face. Sasori just managed to resist.

"Iie."

"…onegai, un?"

Inwardly, Sasori sighed. He tipped his plate and dumped five more gyoza onto his partner's plate. The artist cheered. The Suna nin began to eat neatly.

Finished, Deidara got up, and somehow managed to trip. He usually wasn't clumsy, but his fall was cushioned when he landed on Sasori, knocking them both to the ground. The blonde was on top of the red head, in an extremely uncomfortable position, spread-eagled all over the puppeteer's chest. His face was pressed against the other's shoulder.

Embarrassed, he leapt up and pulled Sasori off the ground. "Gomen, gomen Sasori-danna- I wasn't paying attention, un- gomen-" he babbled.

Sasori looked at him, sighed, and said, "Once again. Calm down."

Deidara nodded mutely, grabbed his plate, and went to wash it off in the sink. Sasori finished off the rest of his gyoza.

The blonde was mentally berating himself for tripping. Baka, you just had to trip and land on him! Now he's probably mad, and I…

The artist, back turned to Sasori, blushed furiously. Landing in that position had brought him very close to the puppeteer… and it had given him a hard-on. In the background, he heard Dun dun DUN!

He dried the plate and put it away as fast as he could, and dashed out of the kitchen to go to his room. Sasori looked surprised, then concerned, and followed quietly.


Safe in the privacy of his room, Deidara leaned against the wall, breathing hard from his mad dash. He locked the door, and walked away from the wall.

Dropping to his knees in the middle of the room, he absently ran a hand over the growing lump in his pants, and undid the catch that closed them. The blonde leaned back for better access and fisted himself, breathing his partner's name.

"Sasori-danna…"

He squeezed tighter, and moaned again. He licked his lips and stroked hard. "Sasori-danna!" he whimpered.

A hand snagged his wrists and an arm wrapped around his chest, pulling him against someone. "Yes?" murmured a familiar voice. Deidara froze.

Sasori had nearly drooled at the sight of Deidara touching himself. The sight was enough to make him react in unfavorable ways- at least, they were until the blonde had said his name. Then he could hardly restrain himself. It didn't matter; he lost all resolve anyway after his partner had whimpered, and just had to get involved.

The arm around the artist's chest loosened as soon as he was leaning comfortably against the red head's chest, and a hand trailed down to his throbbing member. Cool, thin fingers stroked him, from base to tip and back again. He whimpered, forgetting for a moment as sensations raced through him.

Sasori's mouth closed on the rim of his ear, and he repeated the motion, setting the blonde trembling.

"…danna!" the blonde said faintly.

Sasori paused.

"…danna… more..." Fingers wrapped around the artist, squeezing and stroking. He moaned.

Sasori kissed the junction between the blonde's neck and shoulder. The hand holding Deidara's wrists released them, and both hands tangled themselves in red hair. Sasori's free hand went up his partner's shirt, tracing the skin lightly, and pinching small nubs. Deidara whimpered.

The Suna nin continued to stroke the other, forcing the pace to go faster. Breathing for the blonde became harsh, gasping as he could barely handle the feelings of ecstasy as heat began to collect in his hips. His hold tightened on Sasori's hair, and he slowly started to arch as the pressure grew and became unbearable.

Sasori withdrew the hand exploring the artist's body, and wrapped both around the other's member. He squeezed tightly, intent on finishing it so he could have his fun.

Deidara's grip on the other constricted and he let out a cry of "Danna!" as white flashed across his vision. He gasped, and came back down to earth, hearing Sasori grunt as he pulled painfully on the red head's hair. He relinquished his hold slowly, hands slipping carelessly down as he tried to regulate his breathing back to normal.

As soon as the blonde's hold on him was gone, Sasori scooped him up bridal style and walked over to the bed, placing him on it and lying next to him. The blonde sputtered in surprise, until the puppeteer silenced him with a long, deep kiss, yanking off the other's clothes at the same time.

When the red head stopped kissing him, sat up, and started staring at him, Deidara began to feel uncomfortable. Especially since Sasori had a look of absolute lust on his face, and he didn't have a shred of clothing left on.

"Art," the puppeteer breathed. "Fine art."

Then he frowned, and traced the bruises left behind by Kakuzu's advances on the blonde's forearms. The frown turned into a scowl when he saw how they were all colored darkly.

"…Sasori-danna?" The blonde just dared saying something when his partner looked that angry.

The puppeteer waved it off. "Nothing. I just shouldn't have let him get that far." He scowled again, briefly, and leaned back in to kiss Deidara.

This time the blonde managed to keep enough of a mind that he started to try to take off the red head's clothes. He managed to take off the other's cloak and pull the shirt over his head when Sasori broke the kiss off, and sat back up.

The Iwa nin stared hungrily at the other, propping himself up on one arm to have a better view. A smooth wooden chest with nicely lacquered arms on wooden shoulders with a flat, toned stomach greeted him. A thought passed through him that he was probably looking exactly the same as when Sasori had taken his turn at viewing him. He really didn't care.

Sasori chuckled at the expression on Deidara's face. Teasingly, he pulled off his pants, and pushing the blonde back on the bed, straddled him. He kissed down the artist's neck, nipping and licking especially sensitive spots, making Deidara gasp and squirm underneath him.

Deciding to take it slow, as much to torture the other as to have fun, the puppeteer made his way across the artist's chest and stomach, tasting every inch of the artistic blonde as he could reach. Hands raced over the neglected areas, working in tandem with his tongue and teeth to create a delicious sensation for Deidara, who reacted accordingly, arousing the red head with his moans and gasps. The hands once more fisted in red hair tugged and yanked, creating a welcome gauge as to how well he was pleasing the blonde as he held on harder when in pleasure and went slack when trying to recover.

Eventually Sasori brought one hand up near Deidara's mouth, offering those cool, thin fingers, and demandingly ordering, "Suck." The blonde complied, sucking greedily on the digits, one hand grasping the puppeteer's wrist as he turned his attention to the task at hand.

Though Sasori couldn't feel it- his hands were merely constructs of wood and metal wire, albeit clever constructs- he could still imagine it, and the view of the Iwa nin's flushed face with half-lidded and hazy eyes nearly sent him over the edge. He managed to hold on, though, and after his fingers had been thoroughly wetted, he managed to restrain himself from plunging straight in. Instead, he pushed in one finger slowly, waited for the blonde to adjust, pulled out, and went back in. He slowly increased the pace, and added a second and third finger accordingly, ending the session by scissoring the fingers and pulling out for the last time.

Deidara had felt the withdrawal and waited. He did not have to wait long. With a groan, Sasori sheathed himself completely in the other, one hand grasping a hip, the other on a shoulder. For a moment he sat there dazed, as tight heat wrapped around him, but blinking out of it. He bent down and fiercely kissed Deidara, and thrust in.

The blonde made a strangled sound that bore a strange resemblance to a squeak. Amused, Sasori repeated the action to see if he would get the same result, and was delighted when he did.

Angling himself differently, he pushed in a third time, rewarded by a high-pitched whining noise accompanied by Deidara arching instantaneously as he hit the bundle of nerves inside him. The hands in his hair pulled agonizingly as the blonde tried not to completely lose himself by keeping a hold on reality. Dizzy from the pain, Sasori managed to perform the action again, and the hold on his hair was so tight, he could swear he lost more than one strand.

Dropping down, he silenced the blonde in a possessive kiss that left both gasping for breath, and began to force the pace along faster as his control started to slip. He managed to hit the spot that brought instant pleasure to his partner most of the time, and as the pace became much more erratic, hit it with more force.

One last thrust and his vision went blank with bright light. Deidara hit his climax a second time just after that, gasping as his body got to rest from the sensations he had been feeling for so long.

Sasori pulled out, but instead of getting up right away, opted to initiate another long session of kissing that diverted the blonde from thinking about anything else for a good five minutes.

After finally breaking away, the two lay in silence for a while. Sasori absently teased some of Deidara's hair between his fingers as the blonde cuddled up to the puppeteer, resting comfortably in the other's arms.

"Danna?"

Sasori's gaze was locked on the hair he was idly playing with. "Hmm?"

"Un, did you ever talk to Itachi-san about me, un?" he asked curiously.

"…hai. Nanda?"

"Un… Itachi-san asked me if I liked you once," Deidara explained.

Sasori stopped playing with his hair and watched him intently. "Hmm. What did you tell him?"

The blonde slowly traced a circle on the puppeteer's chest with one finger. He watched the progress and replied, "Well, un… I didn't say anything, but he looked satisfied anyway, un." He made a face. "And then, un, when he left, he said that you liked me, un."

The red head looked thoughtful. "Really?" He leaned down and kissed the blonde's forehead. "He wasn't wrong."

Deidara smiled happily and hugged Sasori back. Burying his face in the Suna nin's neck, he said, "I like you too, un."

He felt the vibrations of his partner's deep chuckle and spoken answer. "I think I knew that already."


A/n- This is currently the longest single document I have ever written. This includes both any single chapter or one-shot. 4,175 words and eight pages of ten pt. Times New Roman including this note and the warning and disclaimer. Yep. Very long. Strangely enough, for pretty much all of the lemon I listened to- of all things- The Hamsterdance Song by Hampton the Hamster. I know. I have a very strange mind.

Yeah, this turned out a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would- took me two days to write, and I wrote it from beginning to end. La. What fun.

(coughs) Yes, I know Sasori in the manga only has one body part that's not part of the puppet, and that's his heart, but for the sake of the fic (and the fact he can't have sex if he's not at least HALF human), I only made him half puppet. Ha.

Also, Itachi being like, the matchmaker or something, was DEFINITELY not planned. He would not be written any other way, I swear. Evil Itachi. (glares at picture on wall) And I made Kakuzu the bad guy… gah… oh well. I had to make Sasori manifest his evil I'm-incredibly-overprotective side somehow.

So… yeah. Ja ne.