TITLE: This Feeling
RATING: PG-13 (language)
SPOILERS: "The Gift"
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters portrayed or mentioned in this little diddy.
DEDICATION: To the Wild Beast

I woke up fast.

It had been a long time since I woke up like that - in a cold sweat, jerking up in bed. But as soon as my head left the pillow and I woke up to the rising sun, I felt this... emptiness. Like a part of me just went down the pipes.

After all the time in this fucking place, I found myself feeling like I did before I got here - lost. Not knowing left from right, right from wrong, wrong from death.

I swung my legs over the side of the bunk, staring at the dank, stone walls ahead of me. The red light from the sun plastered itself against the gray wall.

I just stared.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my head but I couldn't. Because I had this feeling...

I stood up and stared into the outside. Sometimes, I think about what I'd be doing if I ever crossed these damn walls. They say it'll be soon.

Good behavior and all.

Yeah, I'm good. In behavior. I think sometimes I got some goodness in me, though. Only sometimes.

Other times, I feel stuck in this hole. Like I can't get out and I just wanna hit the fucking bottom.

I think I did, last year.

But not quite.

Do I think I'll get out? (Out of jail? Or outta the hole?)

I got this feeling it'll be soon. I got this feeling as I woke up today it would be too soon. But it'll be right...

At the same time, it'd be because of the wrong.

I heard the footsteps before the guy appeared at the cell's bars. I turned around, looking at him carefully.

He was a tweed.

Then, I knew this feeling...

"Faith," he said to me.

I stepped up to the bars; I could see his eyes not leaving me for one second. "Yeah?" But there was something behind them that I hadn't seen... "She's gone, ain't she?" I asked, suddenly.

I fell into the feeling.

The Tweed nodded.

I glanced down, my hands gripping the bars.

This feeling...

Of pain. Didn't think I had it in me - at least, for another person. Didn't know I had to until it happened. And, fuck, did it.

"The Council needs you now, Faith," the Tweed said. "You are assigned back to Sunnydale. No other Slayer can be called."

I thought about telling him to fuck off and kill me so that some other chick could.

But then this feeling...

"Sunny D, huh?" I said.

He gave me a nod. "Are you ready?"

I hesitated. "She's really gone?" I asked again.

"As of a few hours ago. I received word from her Watcher. Her funeral shall be tomorrow." He paused. "I'm sorry."

I looked at him, my face probably blank as they came. "For what?"

He glanced down, probably figuring he said the wrong thing.

"It's okay," I said, glancing out into the only window in my cell. The sun was up just a little bit more. It had one less person in it, and I actually cared. "Yeah. I'm ready."

He moved toward where the guard was standing, but stopped and looked at me. "You... you didn't seem surprised when I showed up," he remarked.

I looked up at him, meeting the Tweed's gaze. With a small lift of my shoulders, I told him the truth: "I just had this feeling..."


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