Nothing I Won't Give

So. Here we are again—you and me on opposite sides again. And I guess I haven't learned anything since the last time. I've given myself up to the darkness again, but this time to save you because I know Kairi's safe. I know you've taken care of her like I asked you to. I know because I know you. Or at least I think I do. A lot's changed.

You weren't the only victim of Castle Oblivion, Sora. It took my memories too, but not as many. I still remembered Kairi, but I had a harder time remembering you. Naminé says it's an effect of her rewriting your memories—she wasn't exactly right in saying you had a chain of memories in your heart. It was more like a web, connecting to every friend you'd made. It caused a lot of problems in Castle Oblivion, but it did do some good. When we captured your Nobody, Roxas, DiZ had a hard time trying to get the false personality to stay. But once Naminé broke that chain (web) of memories, it broke his memories of the Organization, and DiZ could rewrite his personality. Kairi probably doesn't remember you either. Even my memories are hazy, and it was only because of Mickey that I remembered you were my best friend. The rest I put together from my own memories—taking the Keyblade from someone (DiZ said that someone was you; you were the Keyblade Master), Ansem losing and me being sent to Kingdom Hearts, and a promise: "Take care of her." Mickey told me that you were my best friend. DiZ said you were the Keyblade Master. And when I saw you that first time, asleep in your pod, I knew. You're like a brother to me—I remember that now.

I remember the look of horror and betrayal on your face when I took the Keyblade from you. It may have been Ansem's spirit, but it was my body. And it was because I was a fool that I let it happen. It all started because I wanted to explore the worlds beyond the Destiny Islands—that's when Ansem first came into my heart. Then I made a deal with Maleficent so I could find you and Kairi. She twisted my mind when I found you, and manipulated me when I found Kairi without her heart. She made me ready for Ansem to take over. I remember everything he did to you because I did it too. I know you're going to hate seeing this face, and I hate seeing it every time I see a mirror. So when you wake up, I'm leaving and I don't want you to come after me. I don't want you going through that pain again.

I couldn't beat Roxas. I was too weak on my own, so I gave in to Ansem's darkness. I've kept my own heart this time, but I still look and sound like the man who tried to destroy all those worlds—and destroy you. I did this so I could help you, and now I can't help myself. I know you've got a massive hero complex, but don't try to save me. I'm beyond saving, Sora. And so long as you and Kairi are safe, I'm fine with it.

I'll watch over you until you're safe. DiZ wants to use you for something, but I won't let him. But until I find out what he wants and until you wake up, I'll play the part of his loyal, nameless confidante. I hate it, but it's all I can do. Fighting has only gotten me so far. I'm the darkness itself, Sora, so I have to act like it. I have to hide in the shadows and manipulate things for your sake. If it makes me more and more like Ansem, then so be it. I've asked a lot of people lately; I made Mickey promise not to tell you what happened to me when you wake up, and I made you promise to take care of Kairi. This time, I'm making a promise to myself: I will get you back as a whole person again, and I'll make sure you get back home safe.

I promise you, there is nothing I won't give.

Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix. "Nothing I Won't Give" belongs to Vic Mignogna, written for Full Metal Alchemist. The last line of the fic is the first line of the chorus.