Fusions That Should Never Be VIII Naruto: TotNTFD

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Larry F's new address at:
http/dbsommer. also Angcobra is now storing fics, at http/ At newer works at Mediaminer disclaimer: I don't own either of the series this is fused with.

Writer's forward: This opens at the start of the Naruto series. It's also very limish in nature. And both series even have ninjas in them.


"Sakura, have you been spending time with that Naruto boy again?"

Sakura looked away from her school books and in irritation at her mother. It wasn't as though she sought out Naruto's company. He was always hanging around her and acting weird, bothering her and making himself about as enjoyable as a rock in one's shoe.

"Kind of," Sakura said, since, technically she had been around him.

"You mustn't go near him anymore," her mother said in a tone that said there was no leeway in the matter.

Now that piqued Sakura's curiosity. "Why not?"

"There are reasons why it's not good for a girl your age to be around him." Her mother's eyes took on a distant gleam. "Maybe I should warn him off."

"The hell you will!"

Sakura turned in surprise at her father's entrance. She hadn't heard him coming, and he was no ninja. It was like he had teleported into the room when her mother had spoken.

"You'll stay away from him," he said to her mother in a commanding way Sakura had never before. Then he turned to Sakura. "That goes for you, too."

Sakura crossed her arms and scowled. She had just turned thirteen, and lately she had felt some deep seeded urge to spite her parents. Now was the perfect time, since she could tell they were being unreasonable. Naruto was many things, annoying at the top of the list, but dangerous? Maybe to himself. He was the worst student in the class and was never going to make genin, no matter how hard he tried. Sakura could kick his butt without even trying.

Yes, it was time to visit Naruto and see what he was up to.


Naruto gulped as he waited nervously in the park. When he had first received the note from Sakura, he had been overjoyed. At last she realized he was the one for her. Then, when the reality of the situation set in, he became nervous. He had never had a girl want to be around him before. Well, there was Hinata, who seemed obsessed with practicing her stalking skills on him, frequently spying on him from a distance. But that didn't count since it was obvious she was training, and she wanted to try and sneak up on the best student in the class.

But Sakura was different. In the last year, Naruto started looking upon her in a different light. She made him feel funny in his guts, and not in the way drinking spoiled milk did. No, it was a very different kind of odd feeling, one that seemed to resonate to the core of his being. Sometimes it felt like he had a fever, and his heart would race. Other times it felt cold, like in winter when he was out in the woods and had to take a crap. Well, not exactly like that, but weird.

And for some reason, his balls ached.

He adjusted his pants. Curiously, he had to suppress the urge to run. It was like Sakura was making him afraid of something. On the other hand, there was another part of him that wanted to bitch slap the part that wanted to run. The contradictions were frustrating.

Naruto wanted to talk to someone about it, but that was nearly impossible. When it came to the adults of the village, all of the men acted with near open hatred of him. As for the women, well, a few of the genin and jounin seemed to take pity on him and met him surreptitiously, but that was it. Anko was probably the most persistent, but she was, frankly, more than a little creepy. Sometimes she seemed like a snake, and he a mouse she wanted to eat. The kids his age generally seemed to take after their parents in avoiding him, though some of his fellow students seemed to be warming up to him, kind of. Most of them seemed to be headcases, but he was at the point where beggars couldn't be choosers.

No, he was on his own. It was probably nothing. Naruto bolstered his courage and waited patiently.

And then Sakura was there, entering the park. When she noticed him, she ran toward him, waving politely and not acting like he was annoying her.

He could die happily now.

"Hi, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, feeling both hot and cold. And dear god did his balls ache. Maybe he had eaten something bad and for a change, it wasn't his stomach that was upset. He really had to start looking at the expiration dates before eating food.

"Hello, Naruto-ku… well, let's just leave it at Naruto." Sakura smiled warmly, though the far sides of her mouth seemed to have difficulty, quivering slightly.

"Thanks for calling me out here. It's the first time you ever did that. Usually when I walk up to you, you get angry and scream at me, or call me a dummy, or hit me. Sometimes you do all three. I call it 'Sakura-chan's Trifecta'." The pain was nearly getting unbearable.

"Ah, yeah." She laughed nervously. Then said, "Naruto, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing." He clutched his hands to his stomach. It was taking everything he had to keep his hands from going lower. Sakura would never forgive him if he grabbed down there right in front of her.

"You look awful," she said sympathetically. "You're sweating and trembling."

"You have that effect on me," he said weakly.

She gave him a half-lidded stare. "You're saying I'm like a virus to you?"

"No!" He tried saying more, but doubled over.

Sakura stared at him in shock, anger dissipating. "Maybe we should get you to a doctor." She placed a hand on his shoulder.

And then the world seemed to explode for Naruto.


The Third Hokage stared in consternation at two of the three best students he had ever taught. While the pair had been divided on many issues before, none were so passionate than this.

"I say we need to remove him from the village before it's too late," Jiraya said, pounding his fist on the table. "It's too risky to leave him here. Something could happen, and we dare not have a repeat of that terrible night." He shuddered.

"If you'd just let me examine him, I'm sure I can find some way to neutralize the threat. I am the best medical jounin in the village," Tsunade said, crossing her arms under her impressive bosom.

"Oh, I'm sure you'd like that, considering he's the only reason you returned and stuck around," Jiraya said acidly.

Tsunade coughed nervously. "It's my duty to look after the safety of my village. I could hardly abandon it in its time of need."

"Right." Jiraya turned to the Third. "Why don't we just cut the damn thing off? That should take care of the problem."

"We tried that initially," the Third said. "It seemed to sense what we were up to. The instant the blade drew near, it reacted…." The Third shuddered at the memory of what happened to the medical ninja that had attempted the operation. "We never tried it again."

"At least exile him," Jiraya said.

"This boy is the victim!" Tsunade snarled.

"The village was the victim the last time things went out of control!"

"Only half the village was, ah, victimized."

"No, all of it was," Jiraya said.

It was then a large explosion of unbelievably powerful chakra from the direction of the park caught everyone's attention. All three people turned at it.

"The seals didn't hold. Now it's too late and the demon's free," Jiraya moaned.

"We'll have to take drastic action," the Third seconded.

Just as the pair were about to burst out the window of the Third's office, Tsunade snared both of them by the backs of their collars and, using her full strength, slammed their heads together.

They slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"And I'll be the one to decide how drastic a measure should be taken. It's not like it even involves you men."

Tsunade leapt out the window and headed toward the park. While the initial explosion had passed, the air there was ripe with chakra.

As Tsunade leapt from rooftop to rooftop, she found herself joined by several other jounin and genin, all of them women.

"So it's finally happened again," Kurenai said.

Anko drew close enough to speak to them. "I've been waiting for this moment. I could tell the kid was getting close."

"What about the Third's moratorium about women not getting near him?" Tsunade asked, a touch of bitterness in her voice.

"What about it?" Anko asked, smirking.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, then turned to see Tsume and Hana Inuzuka had also joined them, their trademarks dogs notably absent.

As they drew closer, Tsunade said to Tsume, "You already fought off the threat the first time. You don't have to… risk yourself again."

"Yeah, Mother," Hana threw in. "Let the younger generation handle this one."

Tsume laughed deeply. "Don't worry, you two. Believe me when I say there'll be plenty for you to deal with in, ah, defending the village. Take it from someone who was there that night; you'll need all the help you can get."

Anko looked at the increasingly large group following them. "Yeah, I see all of you 'veterans' are coming out of retirement for one more go with this thing."

"Better watch your tongue, girl, or rip off your tits with my teeth." That Tsume looked like she meant it silenced even Anko. "Besides, I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"We're here," Tsunade announced, trepidation in her voice.

The cluster of women landed in the middle of the park where demon inside Naruto had reasserted itself, mutating its host into a perfect replica of its demonic form.

Tsunade and the others that had never seen the demon before gasped. Its features were vaguely fox-like, but mostly it was humanoid. It towered nearly ten feet in height, rippling with muscles over its orange hued fur. From its body sprouted nine long and thick tentacles, all of them ending in a shape tentacle did not normally come in. A bit of fluid leaked from the slits in the tip of each one. From its loins sprouted the largest one, thick as a wrist and nearly fourteen inches in length.

Already in its tentacles was Sakura, several of them holding her while others began tearing her clothing to shreds. Upon the arrival of the women, the demon roared out a challenge, tossing Sakura aside and approaching them with open lust in its green-slitted pupils.

Tsunade pumped her fist in the air. "Hot damn! It's even bigger than I expected. Okay, Konoha women, let's take on this really big shikima and drain him of every bit of spe… I mean chakra he has so he can be sealed up again!"

They began removing their clothing so they could charge into action.


Fusions That Should Never Be VIII:
Tales of the Nine Tentacled Fox Demon A Naruto/LA Blue Girl fusion.

Remember boys and girls, just because two series have ninjas in them, it doesn't mean they're compatible.