A/N: The original for this had been written between the hours of 12:30am and 7:00am...during my 3rd shift job...please be gentle. Not to mention this is my very first songfic. There is going to be another part. This one is set from Raimundo's POV, while the other is Jack's. We'll see if I add any more, depending on how this one goes over.
Disclaimer: No...I don't own Xiaolin Showdown, or Jack, or Rai. oo;;; But it would be so cool if I did! Nor do I own the song.
Take Me by: Papa Roach
Take me and let me in,
Don't break me and shut me out.
The seeds of doubt that had once been sewn were once again taking root. Weeded out once before there seemed to be one single thought that had somehow always remained. It was there for a while now, nagging and picking at the back of his mind. Ever since he had stepped foot within the confines of the Xiaolin Temple he had felt a strange presence. Almost as though someone was watching him from a distance.
Uneasily he would wander the temple grounds a slight chill passing over his being as he did. He had never felt at all comfortable with being the new guy, and though those feelings should have passed by now, he always somehow felt he had to watch his step. He now knew what it was to think over every last word. And though this had never stopped him from poking fun at the other's expense he knew…he always knew just how expendable he really was. He had already brought everyone such shame when he had turned his back upon them selfishly to join the Heylin side. Promised everything he could ever want from Wuya, he somehow felt he would have been a fool to turn down such an offer, and yet it turned out to be the biggest mistake he could have made. Returning once again to the Xiaolin Temple he had asked everyone's forgiveness, and they did. And once again they had given him their friendship. Nevertheless he couldn't help but feel something was never quite right. On the outside they had appeared to be forgiving, though he knew. If there was anything Rai seemed to know a lot about it was trust, and he could tell, it was going to take a great deal of time before he could possibly earn theirs back. And in many ways this left him feeling very empty.
I lit my pain on fire,
And I watched it all burn down.
And now I'm dancing in the ashes, And there's no one else around.
As the sun sank over in the west he slowly made his way towards his room. Many thoughts looming over him like a storm cloud. He had passed up on dinner. Instead he had opted to retire to his quaint living space. Never before had such a small area felt so big and empty. Flinging himself back he landed harshly onto the mat he had been forced to call his 'bed'. Wincing he slowly brought his hand up to gently rub against the back of his head to discover to his dismay it had been left rather tender. Rolling onto his side now he could hear the footsteps and light murmurs of the Xiaolin apprentices. They were laughing and joking; he didn't even need to be there. Placing his pillow about his head he tried his best to drown out the noise.
'They don't need me, they never did…Everyone seems to be just happy without me…' He thought to himself 'I wonder if they even noticed I wasn't there.' He finished as he heard Omi and Clay pass his room. Dropping the pillow he sat up quickly. If they didn't have any faith in him anyway what difference would it be if he were to leave?
Seated in the small corner, he held his knees close to his chest. 'Why did even leave Brazil? I had friends there…' He sulked. In ways it bothered himself just being like this. He normally never felt this way, he wasn't supposed to be depressed, or whiney, or so full of self pity. And yet a feeling just seemed to wash over him. And he couldn't help but feel this way. While he sat there, he watched as the light around him began to fade as the other's one by one called it a night. And after a few more moments worth of pondering, he had finally made up his mind. This would be his last goodbye.
He glanced about at the blank, shadowed walls cursing himself idly for not having a clock. Dawn would arrive soon and in turn there would be nothing he could do until the next night unless he started quickly. They were never really permitted too much, which sometimes he wondered how he had ever gotten into the life of a monk. There were so many rules, so many sacrifices. He had gotten a place to stay, with food and a bed, not to mention friends. But he had all of that. And he threw it all away, for what? For a pat on the back when he recovered a Shen Gong Wu? Shaking his head softly he let out a deep sigh and began packing. Changing into his casual clothing he placed his temple garb to the side. He hadn't planned on going home, but at least he wouldn't need them where he was headed. Taking a seat he pulled out some paper and a pen and shakily wrote his farewell note. He had asked them not to bother looking. He had also mentioned how he had 'accidentally' packed away the Golden Tiger Claws and that he would return them when he could. Or when he felt like it.
Stepping outside of the temple gates he took a brief moment to glance back. Then holding the Wu high he slashed at the air as he spoke in a hushed tone, "Golden tiger claws." And with that he vanished.
Because I want to be part of something This is just the story of a broken soul!
A few tears running down the evil boy's face he took his left hand and idly ran it through his hair. 'Deep within absolute despair', seemed to be the only way to describe his current frame of mind The sun had begun to rise upon a new day and though many would see the new beginning he had seen something else. Everyone he knew would come and go. That just seemed to become a part of Spicer's regular day and yet none of them seemed to matter right now. His parent's of all people, the one's who should have been there for him never were. Shutting his eyes tightly he let out a sob, and though he was always picked on for his whining, and crying this had been different. This time it came from the heart. He was hurting deeply. Taking in a deep breath he begins rummaging through one of his drawers for something, one goal coming to mind.
As days go by My heart grows cold I can't seem to let this all pass me by
Raimundo sighs as his gaze falls forward. Lying just ahead was the home of his long time enemy Jack Spicer. Normally the thought of this would have churned his stomach though for some reason over the past couple of weeks something had changed. the same feelings of uneasiness and disgust had somehow turned to understanding and sympathy. Somehow he had sensed a change in Jack. He seemed distant. Almost as though he would give up. Almost as though he had lost the will. It was almost saddening to see one's long time rival in such a state. He didn't think that such a thing would even begin to bother him, and yet it did.
Rai, had begun to see past the 'evil' that was Jack. And in many ways he had begun to doubt that the boy was truly ever evil. Sure he had his laugh, and there was the fact that he had kept insisting that he was, though Rai couldn't help but see it as an 'act' or a 'disguise' he had cleverly placed over himself to shield out any unwanted attention. He was hiding something, and with that he had begun to feel a connection.
So take me And let me in Don't break me And Shut me out
Still standing just outside the mansion he felt an uneasiness wash over him. What if the other didn't feel the same? What if he were to turn him away and laugh menacingly at his act of sheer stupidity? Would he have then known the true meaning of rejection? Would jack have proven him wrong, that no one can truly change?
He felt disgusted with himself with each and every foot step he made down the long path. Still never sure of what he would meet up with at the end of this road he lowered his head.
I'm burning in the heavens And I'm drowning in a hell…
Finding his prize, Jack withdrew his knife, the one he'd used on so many projects before. Letting out a small chuckle he recalled the irony of the situation. The very tool he had always used to bring 'life' to his robots, cutting wires, was about to take away his own. He had heard so many rumors on how best to achieve such a goal, though he had never really considered this anytime before. He had never thought it could be like this.
Taking a seat upon his work bench, which he had previously cleared, shoving recklessly it's contents to the floor, he brought his wrist into view as he slowly removed his trench coat tossing it to the side. Looking down at his wrists he stared in awe for a few moments as a realization struck him. He had put a few cuts into his slender, pale wrists, and yet he never really put all that much thought into it. This indeed was the nectar of life; the very liquid that had been keeping him alive since birth…and that's why spilling it caused such pain, but why afterwards the pleasure? Was death really supposed to feel that way or was it merely a trick? To seduce one, to lull one into a false sense of security in thinking this was right? No…shaking his head to the sides Jack thought to himself, 'this is right…what other choice do I have'
In all truth Jack was scared, he feared the pain, living scared him but most of all he feared death…he wasn't sure he wanted to end it but he didn't see any other way out. So, pushing the blade into view he pressed it to his milky skin, starting to shake the pressure between the blade and his thigh began to take a toll on his wrist.
My soul is in a coma And none of my friends can tell That I'm reaching out and getting nothing…
Raimundo began to get a strange feeling all of a sudden. Almost as though something wasn't quite right. Picking up his pace he walked along the outside of the large house. Seeing as he had already paid Jack a couple of visits with the other Xiaolin Dragons he was pretty sure he was aware of the situation. Most likely no one would answer the door so instead he would let himself in through Jack's entrance. Down into the lair.
As expected the door wasn't locked so he let himself inside. Heading downstairs he felt a slight chill run down the back of his neck. Pausing for a few brief seconds he tried to brush it off, that is until he had caught this next sight.
Jack had taken a seat on the edge of one of his lab tables and had proceeded to cut at his wrist. It was made rather apparent to Raimundo by this point that the other hadn't even noticed his presence by studying the vacant expression which clung to his features. The pain momentarily subsiding Jack had begun to feel a serenity slip over him, the warm, flow of liquid life running down his arm, forming a pool on the floor. Falling backwards he landed with a -thump- as his back made contact with the cold metallic surface. His head lolling to the side he let out a soft whimper. Spotting Raimundo from the corner of his eye, a small smile came to his lips.
"Rai…please don't look…" He managed to speak, causing a jagged coughing fit to follow.
"Jack? What the hell were you thinking!" Rai asked, quickly getting to the other's side. Picking up his arm he held it close as he took out something to try and stop the bleeding.
Glancing off to the side he felt guilty, and yet he wasn't sure why. "I didn't think anyone would come…I figured I was doing everyone a favor"
Pausing for a moment Raimundo sighed, "you really are an idiot…and a coward through and through…did you really think anyone would be happy"
Receiving no sarcastic response he had hoped he could take that as a sign, that maybe he had actually gotten through to the red head.
"I don't expect you to change or anything, but promise me you won't do anything like this again…" Tightening the bandanna about the wrist in question, a small whimper had escaped the lips of the 'evil' one, and with that he had gently placed it upon the table's surface. Glancing off to the side he continued, "To tell you the truth I don't think I can really do too much lecturing, I ran away from the temple. I tried to escape and now I don't have anywhere to go…"
This is the story of a broken soul!
Lowering his head, the atmosphere in the room seemed to shift. He had never felt so low in his entire life. Turning to his so called 'enemy' for help, when it was really the other way around. Part of him wanted to run away from this situation as well. He wanted to find a place where he could think, and yet a part of him wanted to stay there, right where he was. Something had been bothering Jack and he wanted to know just what it was, he had already turned his back on everyone else, he couldn't do it again. Not now. Though, he knew this would take time, there were some secrets that one wouldn't reveal, he had hoped that in the very least he would be able to be the one to help in the healing process.
As day's go by,
My heart grows cold,
I can't seem to let this all pass me by,
His head still resting to the side he shut his eyes, willing away the tears that threatened to overflow. And for a few brief moments he had allowed for this all to register mentally. So many things were happening at once, or perhaps it had all been exaggerated due to his state of mind; the utter lack of sleep and the blood loss he had inflicted upon himself probably didn't help any.
Turning his attention once again to the Brazilian, Jack broke the agonizing silence. "Now…I'm still…a little light headed…but why don't you stay with me?" He asked, a faint blush, crossing his features. Normally he would have tried to cover it, though for now he was feeling too weak for that. Though he had to admit, it let him puzzled, he wondered briefly, about any feelings he might have had. He probably shouldn't have been too surprised though, he had been observing the other for quite some time now, much too scared to make a move, much less let anything be made known.
So take me and let me in,
Don't break me and shut me out.
His mood lifting some, he brought his hand about to rest upon the back of his neck, as a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. And nodding a few times he spoke, "As long as you'll have me, I would really like that…" And with that he took a seat next to the young red head. Lying back he laced his fingers over his chest. He couldn't believe he had found what he felt was lacking in the other's, in the last place he would have thought to look. He had never felt so very fortunate in his entire life…
So take me and let me in,
Don't break me and shut me out.
I hope you enjoyed that...;; If everything happening with Jack seemed to move to fast, well that's because like I mentioned earlier, I hope to be coming out with another part soon. Thank you for reading though. n.n;;