Chapter Twenty Nine
Grace helped Nicki into the house, Nicki who insisted on hugging Sam and Dean goodnight, blowing them a kiss and skipping back to the house and walking straight into the door. Sam half dragged, half carried Dean back to the motel. He had to pull him from his route to the park across the street as the swings drew his attention.
"Seriously Dude I think one swing on them and you'll barf everywhere"
"But Sammy I wanna swing"
Dean sighed and allowed Sam to drag him into the room and onto the bed. He watched as his brother pulled his shoes from his feet. Dean attempted to pull his shirt from his body but fumbled at the many buttons that met his eyes. There was no way he did this many up when he got dressed. No way in hell. And when he'd done them up they'd stayed in the same position, not swam across the fabric taunting him and his failure to escape the clutches of the garment.
"They're evil" Dean slurred.
Sam looked up at him puzzled.
"What's evil Dean?"
"Buttons" Dean attempted to pull the fabric from his body to reinforce his point.
"Maybe you should let me do that huh?"
Sam leaned forward and began to unbutton the shirt. Dean, defeated, let his hands fall into his lap.
"When I'm done with that fabric softener bitch I'm starting on the buttons"
"The buttons of the world won't stand a chance bro"
"Damn right they won't"
"Lift your arms out"
Dean did as instructed and watched Sam through heavily lidded eyes.
"I miss him"
Sam almost missed the words had he not been so close.
"Maybe you should call him?"
"And say what? Say I miss him? Say I'm scared?"
"Of disappointing him again"
Sam sat back on his heals and rested his hands on Dean's knees.
"Dean, you didn't disappoint him"
"Then why did he leave?"
"Listen, I'm angry at him, mad as hell for him walking away like that, but you need to talk to him, I don't understand why he did what he did and part of me never wants to talk to him again, but you need to , we both have to, he's our father. As much as I hate what he's done and hate him for leaving, as much as I'd love to never have to speak to him again. I can't"
Dean regarded his brother with a broken expression. All he wanted was to hear his fathers voice, for him to say everything was ok.
"I want him to tell me I did good, that he's proud"
"You know that probably won't happen Dean. But he's our Dad, so you need to talk to him at some point."
"Tell him how I feel?"
"You could try"
"Yeah right" Dean laughed as he brushed away a few rogue tears. "That ain't gonna happen"
"I know bro"
Sam pulled Dean's legs up onto the bed and pulled the covers over him. He sat next to him, keeping a hand on his thigh.
"Would be nice if he'd say all the things we needed to hear"
"Maybe if you talk to him he will"
"Sammy, I'm drunk, but I'm not that drunk"
"Yeah, ok, but at some point you need to talk to him again. It'll make you feel better"
"Really" Sam sounded sure but felt anything but.
"No matter what happens little brother, I got you"
"Yes you do big brother"
"We're in this together"
"Yes we are, although try to not get beaten up by a girl again"
"I wasn't beaten up by a girl" Dean cracked open an eye and hoped the look he tried to throw Sam's way was a stern one, his face felt kinda numb so he could only guess he was successful.
"Yes brother, you were"
"No girl, Vampire"
"Still a girl"
"Shut up jerk and go to sleep"
"You know how we're in this together and we're seeing this through yadda yadda yadda?"
"Will you hold my hair when I puke later?"
Their goodbyes were tearful for Grace and Nicki. As much as the women tried to smile and put on brave faces, both buried their heads in the each brother's neck as they hugged them goodbye.
"Make sure you aren't strangers honey, you come back you hear"
"We will Grace" Sam hugged her again.
"Where are you going?" Nicki asked Dean.
"I'm thinking upstate New York. What do you say Sammy?"
"We'll be seeing you Nick"
"Oh for crying out loud"
Dean hugged Grace again and made his way to the passenger side of the Impala. His hopes to drive out of town James Dean style had been thwarted by his raging hangover. Sam had taken great delight in grabbing the keys from his sibling.
They both waved goodbye again and started the drive onto the main road and out of town. It felt like leaving home for the first time. Neither really knew what that felt like and only rarely had they stayed anywhere long enough to get attached enough to be sad to leave. But this place, for all the horrors they'd endured had felt more like home than any other motel in their lives.
"You ok man?" Sam looked sideways at Dean who was staring out of the window
"Yeah, just sad to leave."
"We could stay?"
"You know we can't"
"I know, would be nice though"
"Yeah it would"
Dean's phone rang in his pocket, he pulled it out and swallowed as he read the caller ID.
"Who do you think?"
"What are you gonna do?"
Dean smiled at his younger brother and Sam smiled back proudly as Dean flipped the handset.
Yeah, thought Sam. They were gonna be ok.
What can i say? Firstly, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this little story (ok, so it got a bit long, but i love you all for sticking with it), secondly, a huge thank you to those that took the time to review and let me know how i was doing, your support and words have often made me laugh, more often made me cry a few tears at the beautiful words of encouragement you gave. I've loved writing this and loved sharing it with.
ok i'm gonna leave it at that, too many more chick flick moments and i'll turn into Sandra Bullock.
Until next time...
Love you all xxxxxxxxxxxx