A/N: Okay, here I am again. 9:30 on a Sunday night and I'm posting this directly after writing it. I read Second First Kiss again a few minutes ago and I thought "Wow, this is quite terrible," so I condensed the entire plot into a 500something word oneshot that I am actually quite proud of. I like it. It's quick, simple and has spunk. And it's Lily/James which I haven't written for a few updates so I've been missing it…
Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing. Can we just have some permanent thing somewhere in our profile so we don't have to do this every time…?
New to Memory
"Under the mistletoe."
James mentally winced and had to keep himself from gagging. Even he, James Potter acclaimed best friend to Hogwart's Top Snogger, had never gone so far as to trick a girl under the mistletoe. Blech.
But seeing as she was watching him beady-eyed for his reaction, he had to stifle all of his true opinions on this horrible fact and put on a falsetto. He raised a brow and considered the location, "Classy, romantic…"
Lily laughed out loud, "…Hideously overrated! I mean, it wasn't even a kiss. More like," she searched for the correct description, "a collision of jaws."
James, who was keeling over in hysterics, had to cling to the wall for support. But Lily kept going, miming at the air, "he'd always hold my face, as though it would make up for his lack of intelligence. I swear it was anything but sexy. And he was so strong I thought he was going to crush my skull the entire time."
James was now crying profusely and looked in the desperate need for a tissue.
"If I ever even consider dating Diggory again, slap me."
In the midst of blowing his nose on a summoned towel, James froze and felt his insides squirm with an unpleasant realization.
"Amos. He was my first real kiss, I told you. Or, well, it was the first time I've ever really broken my jaw. That was a romantic evening, let me tell you." Lily was completely oblivious to the fact that James was fuming and looked about ready to hex Amos Diggory into the next decade.
"Are you coming? Rounds are about over." She had turned a corner into the next hallway and was walking easily as though she hadn't just admitted that she had once actually placed her lips against Amos Diggory's filthy face.
James jogged a bit to catch up with her. "Where did you want your first kiss to be?"
"I don't know." Lily looked around the corridor, as though there might be a sign indicating good snogging spots. "I just sort of wanted to enjoy it. That's not too much to ask for, is it?"
"Not at all." James agreed, watching her intently.
"We dated maybe three weeks and he practically stuffed me into a broom cupboard for every kiss. Not very much creativity there."
"No creativity!" James echoed.
"And he wouldn't talk to me a whole lot except after his Quidditch games or when he wanted me to help him with his homework. Could I have chosen anyone more of a ghoul to share my first kiss with?"
"James that was a rhetorical question."
"But there is an answer."
Lily looked at James and figured she didn't want to hear the answer. "I probably don't want to know this, do I?"
"Well, what about Snape?"
Lily wrinkled her nose and walked faster.
"I mean, you two could just go snog in the dungeons when you want some privacy."
Extremely disturbed at the idea of that greasy foulmouthed boy touching her, Lily shivered all over and made an I-am-disturbed-at-the-idea-of-that-greasy-foul-mouthed-boy-touching-me face at James, who just laughed. "Is this your idea of fun? Planting crude images of your enemies into your friend's mind that involves them kissing in a dark room?"
They were very close and James could see the bunch of freckles beneath Lily's eyes clearly. "Make's me look pretty inviting, doesn't it?"
Lily smiled slowly, feeling James' breath on her neck. Heavy hot breaths.
"What do you say," James said huskily onto her ear, "I take you up to my dorm and we reinvent that first kiss of yours?"
Lily giggled quietly and very willingly obliged.
A/N: Okay, well, that last sentence drives me completely mental because… well I can't explain it but it just does.