A/N: I have a couple things to say before with we get started with this chapter.
Zuko: Hurry! I'm on Fire!
Ok, Ok. I'd just like to say thank you for reading and/or reviewing. Thanks to all of you who read this and are to lazy to review, cause we all need people like that in the world for…..something. And I'd like to give a shout out of thanks to two people whose ideas I have used in this story or will use in this Chapter and I apologize for not giving credit for it earlier than this. So a big thank you to LORD-BIG-DOGGIE for being very inspirational and for the drawing you did of this story . I really loved it! And a big thanks to SoccerChic101 for their ideas which I have used some in this Chapter.
Zuko: Please hurry, I think my boxers are smoldering.
Ok, on with the story!
Katara and the rest of them raced after the smoking Zuko and caught up with him in Chapter Four.
"Zuko your on fire!" Katara said, pointing.
"I know!" He screamed back, running in circles. "You made that very clear last chapter! Now put me out!"
"Alright! Hold still!" Katara chased after Zuko who continued to run in the opposite direction. They ran through the door marked EXIT and found themselves in none other than the Fire Nation itself.
Katara did a flying leap through the air and landed on Zuko with a thud. Unfortunately J (formerly known as Jet until he made the narrator angry….grr….), had the same idea and landed on top of Katara who was on top of the flaming Zuko. Which is a statement meaning he is on fire and in no way refers to his early statement of IMGA-
"They get the point!" Zuko shrieked as Iroh landed on top of J, Katara, and Zuko and Barkfus landed on top of all of them.
"Ok, who in the name of all things tiny and neon pink is Barkfus?" Zuko said in complete confusion.
"That would be AANG, wait do I mean GNAA, or was it…AAH!" Katara shrieked as J accidentally smashed his elbow in her ear.
"I am so sorry." J said.
"No your not!" Katara said angrily.
"Your right," J said, "But seeing as I only have one letter left in my name I think it best I don't make anyone angry right now."
"Well I'm glad you are all so interested in your own personal problems," Zuko's muffled voice said from the bottom of the people pile, "But would you please GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!"
They quickly jumped off the only slightly smoking Zuko who promptly glared at them and crossed his arms in anger.
"And why is he called Barkfus now?" Zuko asked angrily. "You know, back in my day we didn't change our names. Our parents named us and we stuck with it. Of course we also lived with twenty-eight other siblings inside a cardboard box covered in rabid wolves who walked twelve miles naked in the snow to get to school."
Everyone sighed in memory of the good old days.
"Well you see," Katara said finally after they were all done reminiscing," Barkfus has decided that he is a dog and has asked to be called Barkfus for….actually I don't know why. I just nod and smile whenever he talks…er…barks."
As if on cue (which it probably is since I'm the one telling this story), Barkfus flew in on his glider, landed on all fours, and bit Zuko on the leg.
"Oh for the love of my great-great-great uncle Chester and his small Chihuahua flowers!" Zuko screamed in anguish.
"Bark!" Aang said. Well, technically barked. Actually he said bark. Or maybe he barked said? Ah well.
"Well since we're all here," Sokka said, "Let's go….um….where ever the plot of this story is going next."
"I think it went that way," Iroh said, pointing conveniently in the direction of the Fire Nation Capitol.
"No you idiot," J said, then realized he was being mean again, "I mean you wonderful sweet smelling old man. The plot went that way." He pointed in the opposite direction.
"Hey look!" Zuko said, pointing at something on the ground. "There's an unidentified object lying on the ground. Normally it's a bad idea to pick objects like that up but I think I can make an exception this time." He bent and picked it up.
"Hi!" The object said. Zuko screamed and threw it at Katara who ducked, causing it to hit Barkfus in the face. He growled and charged Zuko.
"AAH! AAH!" Zuko screamed and ran forward, tripped over the strange object, and landed on the ground. Barkfus bit him on the leg again. Zuko bawled like a little girl. Barkfus barked. Katara smiled and nodded.
"What should we do?" Sokka asked, looking at Zuko who was now curled into the fetal position and sucking his thumb.
"As the old and wise proverb says," Iroh intoned, "Ask a fatter man and you can eat your cake too."
They all stared at him in confusion.
"Let's just wait until he calms down a bit and then we can see what this strange talking object is," Katara said.
"Ok," everyone agreed.
Three hours, twelve minutes, and forty-seven seconds later
"Is he ever going to stop!" Sokka screamed, tearing out his hair in agony. He ran in a circle around Zuko and pulled some of his hair out. This caused Zuko to slap him and Barkfus to bark. Naturally.
"Ok fine, I can't take much more of this!" Katara grabbed Zuko by the scruff of his neck, hauled him to his feet, and kissed him.
Zuko gaped at her in pure shock. Well, after they were done kissing.
Everyone stared at Katara in pure shock, also after they were done kissing. After Zuko and Katara were done kissing that is, not everyone else.
Iroh drank some tea in pure shock. It involved no kissing.
"What, did…but..you, I did?" Zuko stammered.
"Oh come on," Katara said huffily, "I only did that so you would stop screaming like a small chimpanzee. Actually it would probably be a rather large chimpanzee seeing as how you were screaming so loudly. Though it was a rather girlish scream. Like a large chimpanzee screaming after he'd just been kicked in the-"
"NUTS!" Iroh screamed.
They all stared at him.
"I spilled my tea." He said calmly, and walked away.
"Well then, let's examine this strange object before anything else weird or comical happens." Aang said calmly.
"Aang!" Katara shrieked. "Your name is back to normal!"
"Why yes it is." Aang said patiently. "I am actually a member of the FBI. I was made Avatar as a part of the witness protection program and put inside that iceberg to save me from the German mafia who want to kill me."
"Wow! Really?" Sokka asked, gaping.
"No!" Aang laughed, jumped on his glider, and flew off into the sky.
"Good old Aang," Katara said happily.
"Zuko what are you doing?" Sokka asked, staring at the Fire Prince.
"I'm in love!" Zuko sang, twirling around in circles. "I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, love, love! I feel like a dove! I would like to give you…um," he stopped, trying to think of a word that rhymed while scratching his nonexistent beard.
"A shove?" Aang asked, swooping down and knocking Zuko over before taking off again.
"Good old Aang," Katara said happily.
"Uh-oh." Sokka said.
"What?" Zuko sang back.
"WILL YOU STOP THAT!" Sokka shouted.
"I caaaaaaaaaaaaan't help it." Zuko squawked, opera style.
Sokka sighed. "Anyway, I believe Aang has officially lost his marbles," a couple blue ones hit Sokka on the head, "Katara is stuck saying 'Good old Aang', and we still don't know what that strange talking thing is." He pointed at the object on the ground which they could now see was shaped like some furry creature with four eyes.
"I'll see what it is!" Zuko chirped, picking flower petals off a daisy while silently singing, she loves me, she loves me not.
He danced over and picked up the furry creature that for future reference will now be called…um…
"Pizzazz!" Zuko warbled.
Ok fine, Pizzazz. Crazy hormonal teenager. Narrator shakes head.
Zuko picked up Pizzazz.
"Hi!" Pizzazz bellowed at the top if his/her lungs.
"Eeee!" Zuko screamed at a perfect high C pitch.
"Mmm High C," Aang said, swooping by again with some fruity juice.
"I am your personal Fire Nation tour guide!" Pizzazz said.
"Good old Aang," Katara said happily.
"Grrr," Sokka growled.
"If you would like a tour of the Fire Nation, please press one." Pizzazz said in his slightly robotic and extremely loud voice.
"What?" Zuko asked, forgetting to sing. "But there are no buttons!"
"Invalid selection." Pizzazz replied happily. "Please press one."
"I can't press one!" Zuko screamed. "You don't have any buttons!"
"Please press one."
"AAHH!" Zuko shook Pizzazz. Pizzazz stared at him.
"Valid selection, thank you." It said calmly.
"Finally," Zuko muttered.
"Please press two."
"AHH!" Zuko threw Pizzazz at Katara and ran away screaming.
"Yo homies, what be up which you?" A voice suddenly said from behind them. A boombox began to play out of nowhere, which is probably the name of a real song but for this purpose is merely a metaphor meaning the characters couldn't see where it was. It was nowhere. Playing. Out of.
They all turned around slowly. Katara screamed in horror at what she saw and promptly fainted.
"Is it the Fire Lord again?" Aang asked, swooping by once again.
"No!" Sokka squeaked in sheer terror. "It's….it's Iroh! And he's dressed as a rapper!"
"NOOOOO!" Zuko moaned, falling to his knees in defeat.
"Wait I thought he was still running around in circles." Pizzazz bellowed.
Your right Pizzazz. Run, Zuko, Run!
"But I don't want to, my feet hurt." Zuko pouted.
"RUN!" Pizzazz and the narrator screamed and Pizzazz kicked Zuko in the eye.
"MY EYE!" Zuko screamed as he ran away.
"Take that fool!" what we really hope is not Iroh said.
They all turned in horror again to look at Iroh. Sure enough, he no longer looked like a member of the Fire Nation. He was dressed in saggy blue jeans, a shirt that said PHAT across the front, a baseball cap on backwards, and lots of bling-bling. It was utterly disturbing. It's freaking me out just writing it. Shudder.
"Iroh?" Sokka asked. "What are you doing?"
"What's it to ya? You trippin' bout my appearance? I be kickin' it old school!" He crossed his arms and nodded. "Yo!" he quickly added, realizing he'd forget to say it in the previous sentence.
"Well now I've seen it all." Sokka groaned. The Fire Lord ran by naked.
"AHH! IT BURNS!" Sokka ran off after Zuko in tears.
"This way to the 3-D ride!" Pizzazz whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" Aang asked, finally able to land now that all the XXX rated nudity was over and his child-like eyes would not be burned to a crisp.
"I don't know." Pizzazz said.
"Yeah, fool. You wanna go shorty?" Iroh said, getting up in Aang's face.
"Yeah I wanna go!" Aang shouted back.
"Then let's go!" Iroh shouted dictionary back back? Ah well, sounds good. Iroh shouted back back.
"Ok!" Aang shouted back back back. And they skipped away together to find something to eat.
Suddenly Zuko ran by covered in angry rabid ducks.
"Get them oooooofff!" He screamed as he flew by, no pun intended. Some jumped off and landed on Sokka who tripped and hit a nearby barrel which wouldn't have mattered except it knocked down Zuko who fell into a pipe which was holding up a building which smacked Iroh in the head, which knocked his sense back into him, which caused him to throw his rapper clothes on Aang (luckily he was wearing his Fire Nation outfit underneath), who couldn't see, who ran into a random donkey, which kicked a pillar, which hit a building, that hit another building, which hit another building, which hit another building…
BOOM! They all coughed and waved away the dust in front of there faces.
"Oh no," Zuko said in shock, completely forgetting the ducks.
In less than thirty seconds they had managed to destroy the entire fire nation.
"Maybe we should go to that 3-D ride Pizzazz was talking about," Sokka said nervously, staring at the damage and rumble that was once an empire.
"Good old Aang," Katara said happily and they all set off for the ride.