Hey. Me again. I thought it should be noted that this came into my head as a result of my contemplating Beelzebumon fics. I noticed that, in my searches of Ive come across few Beelzebumon-centric fics that werent either A) Angsty, or B) Romantic. I also noticed a lack of stories with Beelzebumon ineracting with the Tamers. So I, being the ironic hypocite I am, wrote angst. It figures.
Disclaimer: I dont own Digimon.
I probably shouldnt be writing this down. I mean, someone could use it against me someday. But then again, maybe someonell understand for once.
Fucking idiocy. Thats all it was when I figured that my life could only get better. Youd think that after almost dying trying to absolve my sins God wouldve taken just a little pity on me. But no. It seems Im meant to rot in my own little hell here. Yeah, hell. One would think that it would be 'D-Reapers gone. Everyones safe. Were all friends now. Lifes going to be better.' Bullshit. 'When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up'? Not really. When you hit rock bottom, Life starts drilling under you, while Death holds a rope just above your reach. Theyre bitches like that.
I guess I outta say whats bothering me. Im alone. Most people would say that I have lots of friends; the Tamers, the twins, Behemoth; but its not true. The Tamers say theyre my friends, but they rarely remember my existence. You know what happened the other day? There was a major fight, six megas versus six megas. Pineapplehead-remixed was having trouble with his opponent, so everyone tried to aid him. I took out two opposing fighters on my own, one of which was an Angel, and they didnt even notice. "Well, at least they invite you to birthdays and stuff." I dont care about those things! Everyone gets invited to birthdays and Christmas and stuff! Even annoying cousins get invited to that shit! I want to be invited to the little things. I want them to ask if Id like to join them for a pizza or something. I want them to actually be my friends.
The twins are nice enough. I have to admit, Im crazy over those brats. But they just dont quite cut it. Theres just shit that a guy needs to talk about that cant be talked about to 7-year-olds. Plus, I know that if they had been older when we met, they wouldnt have anything to do with me. Same goes for Behemoth. Hes a great friend and all, but I cant tell him everything, and the only reason we ever had anything to do with each other is the fact that Im his master by design. I wish I could feel wanted with them around, but I cant.
Foxy pretended to care for a while. She did that even before, when I was an ass. I think Im reverting back to that. I dont want to. I dont want to push away the ones I care about again. Anyway, even shes forgotten about me. Once and a while shell show up at the door, sit down, talk a while. Every time she does that I just cant wait for her to leave. Always has that look in her eyes when she sees me that says 'Oh. The house is still standing and you havent killed the occupants. Good Demon.' Shes like a fucking Social Worker. Doesnt really care whether I live or die, its just her duty to make sure I dont take anyone else down with me. Damn shit.
I really shouldnt care about it this much. Thats what I keep telling myself. That theyre just a bunch of assholes, and I dont need friends like that. But I cant help it, they say theyre my friends. It hurts that theyll lie through their teeth like that. Im right. Theyre just assholes. Assholes who dont know a good person when the see him. They dont deserve my company anyhow. They saved the worlds, so what? That doesnt mean theyve earned my presence. Rikas birthday is coming up, I think Ill skip it. Yeah. Thats what Ill do. Not like it matters anyway. Just another year closer to her death, come on. It doesnt matter.
Fuck. Now Im crying. I shouldnt be doing that! No, that would give the world some power over me. No one makes me cry. Demon Lords dont tear up. Yeah. Thats it. Im fine now. Everythings gonna get better from here on out.
I wonder if they remember my name...
Apologies for any formating problems there may be. Sometimes this site hates me. Im planning a series of oneshots based around Beelzebumon. If all goes to plan then theyll be happy oneshots. Wish me and the Demon Lord luck with that...
Anyways, R&R people! Id love to hear your impressions on this little monolouge!