Saved By the Bell: The College Years

Zack vs. Slater

Written by Mark Moore and Michael Lee Rohm


Author's note: The following story comes from a scene of a larger "Saved By the Bell: The College Years" story that I wrote on a computer in computer class in high school (mid-1990s, around the time that the series ended, though I forget exactly when). I had copied it onto a disk for my friend, Mike Rohm, to read on his computer at home. He took this scene, altered it, and gave the disk back to me to read. His stuff is everything that occurs after Slater says "Oh, yeah." There's really no point to this story. The original story was going to involve Zack and Kelly fighting Count Dracula. I kinda gave up on the story, and I no longer have the original file, so don't ask for it. Due to stupid "no script format stories" rule, I had to convert this story to prose format. The plot remains unaltered, though. Enjoy this blast from our pre-Net past!

- Mark Moore, Tuesday, July 25, 2006, 12:22 AM


Zack Morris' car was going down the street at night. LaBamba was playing on the radio. Zack was driving. Kelly was in the passenger seat. Zack & Kelly tried to sing along, but they didn't understand the words. They looked at each other & shook their heads. Then they started singing again. The car turned left around a street corner, where Slater was standing by a bus stop.

Zack looked out the window. "Hey, check it out, it's Slater." He pulled over to the curb.

Slater was outside, to the left of the car. Zack pressed a button & rolled down the window.

Zack called out the window. "Hey, Slater!"

Slater looked & walked over to the car. "Hey, preppie!"

Zack rested his arm on the window. "Need a lift?"

Slater smiled & opened the back door. "Yeah, thanks!"

Slater got in the back seat.

Slater said "I went to see a movie, & when I came out, my car got towed."

Zack turned around, with his arm resting on the back of his seat. "Well next time, don't park in the Fire Lane!" He started the car.

"Oh, yeah." Slater said.

"You're pretty stupid, Slater." Zack said.

"You wanna antagonize me? Antagonize me motherfucker! Get in the ring, motherfucker! I'll kick your bitchy little ass, Punk!" Slater yelled. Zack put in the Snoop Doggy Dogg tape "Doggystyle". "Calm down, Slater. Let the cool gangsta shit calm yo ass down foo!"

"Turn this shit off, preppie!" Slater pulled out the Lynard Skynard "Street Survivors" tape from his pocket. In a gruff country accent, he said "Play some Skynard, man."

"Shut your mouth Slater. Skynard sucks. Snoop rules. Don't make me smack yo' ass from da backside, foo. You dis Snoop, you dis yo' self, muthafucka." Zack said.

"There are only four cool black singers, preppie. Jimi Hendrix, the guy from Counting Crows, Lenny Kravitz, and the guy from Living Colour." Slater began singing "Purple Haze": "Purple haze all in my brain, lately things just don't seem the same, actin' funny but I don't know why, 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. Purple haze all---"

"If you're gonna sing that you can get the hell out of my car. You're gonna make my bust my gat n' go rat-tat-tat-tat." Zack told him.

Slater louder sings "Are You Gonna Go My Way: "BUT WHAT I REALLY WANNA KNOW IS , ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY? AND I GOT TO, GOT TO KNOW---"

Zack pulled car over to the curb and shoutied "Quit singing Lenny Kravitz! I'm gonna rat-tat-tat-tat yo ass! Get the hell out!"

Slater got out. "Okay preppie, just remember - " He started singing Counting Crows' "Mr. Jones": "Mr. Jones and me, tell each other fairy tales and we stare---" Slater's singing was cut short by Zack's squealing tires as he pulled away. As Zack drove away, Slater gave him the finger.

Zack's car spun around and stopped. Zack got out.

"Wazup nigga? You wanna dis my ass?" Zack asked. "Disrespect and you will not be livin'."

Slater punched Zack in the nose. Zack's nose was bleeding. "Hey, Fuck you, man, fuck you!" Slater yelled.

Zack started crying hysterically. "You jus' betta watch yo' ass, I'm gonna pack my strap an' tat dat ass."

"You listen here, preppie, Skynyrd kicks Snoop's ass, always has, always will." Slater punched Zack again.

Zack headed toward his car w/ blood running down his face, crying hysterically.

"You ain't nuthin but a sissy!" Slater picked up a baseball bat that just happened to be laying next to him. "Die faggot!"

Slater beat Zack badly until the bat, from the intense pressure of the beating, broke. Zack got in the car, blood pouring eveywhere and drove away. After he dropped Kelly off, he ran the car intentionally off of a bridge and killed himself. That's pretty cool.

THE END (THANK GOD)