A/N: So I think I might be getting in over my head with a new story. But oh well… the muses, I tell you, the muses. Compounded with Nina initiating a conversation that sparked an idea for this story, and well, here I am… I don't know how long this will be, maybe a few chapters, maybe less, maybe more? Heh, I didn't answer anything, did I? Oh well…
I don't own the names and characters that I mention (WWE Inc / Vince McMahon does). Hopefully, Chris Irvine and Stephanie McMahon own their own names, you know? The actual people behind the characters? Heh, enjoy, and leave me some love (or hate, whatever floats your boat) when you're done.
Chris Irvine stepped out of the bathroom as he towel-dried his hair, thankful for the day off from his busy schedule. He was in a really good mood, ridiculously good mood even as he hummed to himself, heading down the stairs of his Florida home to make himself a sandwich for lunch. It was such a nice feeling to be home and just take a break for once.
His humming turned to whistling as he headed into his kitchen, already wondering what tomorrow would bring his way. He broke into a grin as he reflected on everything he'd done since he'd left the WWE, and it was all so refreshing to him. He was really enjoying his hiatus from Vince's circus – yes, he was reveling in it, and he had no intentions of coming back anytime soon.
There was just too much for him to do for that to even be a possibility anymore.
Moments later, he plopped down on his sofa with his sandwich as he flipped on the TV, immediately picking up the recording of RAW from the night before that was stored on his TiVo. Sure, he wasn't in any kind of rush to come back, but wrestling was and would always be in his blood. He couldn't help but watch it every now and then to see what people were up to.
He couldn't even stomach getting through an hour of the show before he turned it off, grimacing as he did. Lord, did Vince need him back, and in a bad way. That show was absolutely piss-poor without him. This thought fueled his pride and only further lifted the Canadian's good spirits as he stood up.
"I'm still the highlight of the night." He mumbled happily to himself, before shuffling his feet and doing his patented juke-and-jive.
Still got it, baby! He thought with a grin, before wondering how his fans were getting by without their weekly dose of Vitamin C. At the thought of his fans, Chris suddenly realized it'd been a while since he answered the next batch of emails for the popular Q&A section on his official website.
He didn't like to keep his fans waiting, so he figured he was due for an update…
Just as he was booting up his computer, his cell phone went off. He glanced at it and recognized the number, before he answered.
"Jay, my man, what's up?" He greeted as his computer finally whirled to life.
"Not much Chris," Jay Reso answered. "I'm just over here driving back into the city, and was bored, so I figured I'd see what you were up to."
"Same old thing, you know me."
"Oh yeah," Jay laughed. "You only had a play last weekend, that's just a drive to the store for you, isn't it?"
"You know me…" Chris said with a grin as he logged online. "Anyways, I'm just at home, about to check my emails. Can't keep my fans waiting for too long."
"Because a year isn't a long time?" Jay asked, making Chris roll his eyes.
"You know I'm not feeling the wrestling thing right now, I did it for fifteen years man, enough is enough."
"And it's time for a change?"
"Alright there, Owen," Chris snorted, as he pulled up his first email. He groaned as he read it. "Oh God, not another one."
"What's up? Someone email you asking if they could get you in bed?" Jay snickered.
"No, dumbass, someone instead emailing me to ask when I'm getting back into wrestling." Chris said with a sigh as he deleted the email.
Only around 2,000 left to go…
"You should just put like a cardboard sign around you and walk around wearing it all day, put your answer on there for the world to read." Jay suggested, as Chris deleted yet another email.
"I should, I mean honestly, when will these fans get a clue that I'll come back when I feel like it?"
"I don't know, damn those fans for loving you so much, huh?" Jay said jokingly, to which Chris groaned again.
"You know I care about my fans, but sometimes, I just wish they'd lay off of it, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah. Well actually I don't, but I can imagine that my peeps would go crazy without me, so yeah, I can only imagine," he said with a laugh. "But hey, I'm gonna have to let you go, driving on the expressway and being on the cell phone, it's not safe."
"Yeah, you should be a poster-boy for that message, it'll be like the click-it-or-ticket commercials, you'll be famous," Chris said sarcastically as Jay laughed again.
"Always a blast catching up with you Irvine, I'll hopefully talk to you again soon."
"We'll be talking…"
"Y2JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ, when R u CoMiNN back to RaWW?"
"Hey Chris, you thinking about coming back anytime soon?"
"Yo Jericho, how's it going? Do you think you'll be coming back to wrestling sometime soon?"
Chris groaned and leaned back in his seat, part of him tempted to just erase all of the emails he had. Honestly, couldn't people be more original and ask him a more prevalent question? Like about his phenomenal play where he had stolen the show? Or about the book he was in the process of writing? Or about the glorious band that was Fozzy?
This is why I hate the internet, he thought to himself as he decided to somehow keep chugging along… he had made a promise a long time ago to read all the feedback he got, and he was going to have to just suck it up and keep reading…
"Hey Chris, what's it like performing for the Groundlings?"
Finally! … he cracked his knuckles and immediately began to type his response.
"It's been a blast, I'm having a really fun time, especially when you consider what some of the names have been who've performed with them! Yes, Chris Jericho can do more than just wrestle…"
He hit the send button, responding personally to the brilliant fan who had sent him a different question, before copying and pasting the Q&A onto a Word document for later posting on his site. Once again humming to himself, he pulled up another email as he leaned back in his chair.
"Hey Chris, we all know you had the hots for Stephanie McMahon back in the day, so tell us, what was your favorite scene to film with her? And the kiss doesn't count, cause it's obviously up there, right?"
Chris's eyes grew wide as he leaned too far back in his chair, before falling completely out of it. He groaned and clutched his back, rubbing it as he kneeled up to read the email again.
Is this person for real? He thought, feeling bewildered. Did they seriously think there was something going on between me and Stephanie?
He immediately began to type…
"If you could call insulting her week in and week out having the hots for her, then yeah, I guess I was madly in love with Stephanie if you look at it like that… sarcasm aside though… my favorite scene was definitely nailing her in the face with a pie, talk about classic, it still makes me laugh today."
He hit the send button, and then thought about it… was this worth putting on his Q&A page? He shrugged, figuring that if Stephanie would ever take the time to look, she'd probably laugh at his response anyways. The thought made him grin as he copied and pasted the exchange to save it for later use as he went back to checking his emails…
Alright, he thought to himself as he glanced at his watch. Four more emails, and then I need to get some sleep. He could already feel fatigue creeping through him. Even though it was still pretty early in the day, he hadn't been able to get much sleep from the buzz and excitement of performing his play in Toronto the past weekend. His thoughts went back to the Stephanie email and he snickered at the notion. Their entire storyline was never meant to be romantic, how could fans even start to take it that way? It was amusing, to say the least.
"Y2J when are you coming back? Will you go to ECW? Why weren't you at ONE NIGHT STAND?"
"AJ StYLeS couLD TOTALLY wh00p your ass Jericho!"
He rolled his eyes. Delete.
Just then, he realized he had a new email and went back to check who it was. His eyebrows raised in surprise as he realized it was the same fan who had emailed him that question about Stephanie. Intrigued, he clicked on the link to read the fan's rather quick response…
"The pie gag huh? Yeah, that was a good one… and even though you were supposedly hating each other, you always seemed to touch Stephanie whenever you could. Talk about hot chemistry, eh Chris?"
He immediately hit the reply button…
"Yeah, we had chemistry, but I also had chemistry with Rocky and Benoit, are you saying I have the hots for them too?"
He hit the send button and frowned as he stared at the monitor, waiting for a response. Just when he thought he'd finally won the verbal, or rather, online sparring, and could go and take a nap, he got his response and immediately opened the email.
"Oh you had great chemistry with them, in the ring and stuff, verbally with The Rock too, awesome stuff Chris. But you still have no response for all that unnecessary touching with Stephanie… it's not every person that you would touch on the face like that! It's okay Chris, we all know the truth…"
He rolled his eyes and got up, deciding that that was more than enough exchanging of emails with some fan he didn't know. Normally he'd reply once and be done with it. He had way too many emails from way too many fans to let one get to him so much, and over something so trivial as an old storyline he had with Stephanie of all people.
Sure, he had loved it at the time, but why not? It had worked, and it was fun to antagonize her on-camera. It meant nothing… fans could really look into things too much, he thought to himself as he headed off towards his bedroom to catch some sleep.
But all the while, one question kept nagging at him…