Title: Distance to Betray

Author: Orilon

Rating: PG

Pairing: Past Alex Shelley/Austin Aries

Spoiler warning: Alex Shelley's promo and match from ROH's Manhattan Mayhem

Disclaimer: Everything from Ring of Honor belongs to Gabe Sapolsky and Cary Silkin.

Distribution: If you want it, take it, but let me know where.

Summary: Alex's thoughts after Manhattan Mayhem

Feedback: Please.

I find it ironic that I saved them from mid card purgatory, and now they are on the top of the card at my expense. Instead of us coming to the top as a unit as we planned, they turned on me and they are on top as a trio and left me behind.

The four of us had drive and ambition, but Austin had a little more than the rest of us. I didn't think that it would come back to bite me on the ass, but it did. My relationship with Austin started shortly after Gen Next was put together. My mistake was I never expected him to turn on me in Gen Next, and I also didn't expect him to turn on me in our personal relationship.

I was totally blind sided when he turned on me during Final battle 2004, but looking back, I can see the writing had been on the wall back in Oct 2004. When he took the mic from me and said the next step was to go after the ROH championship after we beat the Second City Saints. That match didn't go as we planned, and Final Battle 2004 didn't go as I planned. Instead of me celebrating a win over Samoa Joe and winning the ROH title, Austin won it and turned on me. The fact that he was more ambitious than the rest was the final nail in the coffin for me.

I thought I knew him better than that, but he was hiding that side to him, and as I said tonight, he changed like a TV channel. Not just in the ring, but also in our personal life.
I didn't notice his change then, but also looking back to Oct, he started to get more distant from me. I had no idea that his distance would allow him to turn on me.

I also had no idea that after they turned on me, that I would be completely alone in the locker room, not even allowed to change with everyone else. I was turned on by the guys I helped to bring up, my lover, and the whole locker room.

Austin's nickname is Personal Jesus, but he didn't save me, he condemned me. I misplaced my faith in him, both in terms in Gen Next and also on a more personal level. As I said in my apology to Punk on the Third Anniversary Show Part 2, I'm the one paying for Gen Next's sins in terms of being punished for our actions. I apolgized for them and myself, but no one is taking it and I'm left on my own.

His smacking me in the face during the match was just a physical representation of his more metaphorical smack in the face several months before. I got my kicks in to pay him back, and also spitting in his face like he did mine.