"It is a very popular theory amongst the Earthlings and some other species that there are infinite Earths for every action and reaction that Earth Prime participates in. For example, the theory states that when Author Dent was taken on the Vogon's ship by Ford Perfect to save his friend from Earth's end, there was a world created where Author Dent and Ford Perfect didn't meet up in time and thus he was destroyed with his planet.
However, the more popular theory amongst other species is that when God created Earth Prime, millions of years later, He took one look and said 'D'HO!' and thus created Earth after Earth to find the perfect one.
Currently, it's still believed that He has yet to make such an Earth."
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on "Alternate Dimensions, God, and Mistakes."
The Hitchhiker's Guide to Nerima
It's nighttime in Nerima, Japan. The only time where the residence didn't have to worry about crazy Kendoists, lost boys, psycho chiefs, or gender changing martial artists. Its nice and peaceful…
…or at least it was. For at that moment, right in the Tendo's backyard, there is a crater and within that crater is what appears to be a small robot with spherical armor covering his legs and arms and a giant sphere head holding a book, slowly coming to.
"Oh great," it said in a depressed voice, "I'm gonna have to pay for the damages. Just another part of my life that never seems to get brighter." It then opens the book, but if one were to look, it'd see a yellow screen with multicolored topics and one would think it was an unusual laptop. "Not that it might help, but where are we?"
"Judging from the air in the atmosphere, the number of water covering the oceans, and the size of the backyard, we're on an alternate Earth whose universe was in the path of the Implausible Drive." The book told him.
"I warned that two headed twit to shut the door. But nobody listens to the robot, no. I just happen to have a brain the size of a planet, why should they listen to the smartest being on the whole sh--"
"What on Earth is that thing!" The android hears a female voice. He turned around and saw two adult men, one with long hair the other bald, a pig tailed teenager, two brown haired women, one with long hair in a pony tail the other short, and a blue short haired teenage girl holding a pig.
"It appears that we're on…"
"Stop. I know where we are, I don't want to be reminded I'm with people that make the President more competent." The android said in a depressed tone. He then turned to the occupants of the house. "Hello Tendos and Saotmaes, I'm Marvin. I'd say it's nice to meet you, but I doubt that. By that same token, most I know think it's not a good thing to meet me."
The shocked families looked at Marvin up and down not knowing what to make of him. Sure, they've seen the weird stuff before, this is Nerima. But never has an android fallen from the sky carrying a talking metallic book. Then they took at look at the yard and saw a deep crater that looked like the android where it landed. Tired of waiting, he started to talk again.
"Well, go on. I won't take offense. I'm already depressed at being looked at like a sideshow attraction."
At that remark, the families fainted right on the spot, save for Nabiki, who knew how to keep her emotions in check, and Kasumi, who just chalked this up as another part of what makes Nerima Nerima.
"Well, Marvin, isn't it?" Kasumi said in her usual sweet voice.
"Yes. I shouldn't be hard to forget. I got a bulbous sphere for a head."
"Would you like some tea? It might cheer you up."
"Doubt it. And I don't drink tea. I'm an android."
"Too bad. It would've cheered you up." Nabiki said in her usual tone.
"Just great." Marvin said even more depressed as he went inside the house. "I'm getting emotional supplements from a walking Prozac ad and someone that makes a Vogon cheerful. My life can't get anymore depressing today."
"Jeez. What's eating you?" Nabiki said rudely.
"Nabiki! He's our guest." Kasumi scolded. Marvin then walked to Nabiki and handed her the guide.
"Open up the book and say 'Marvin the Paranoid Android.'" Marvin said in a still depressed tone. "Though I'm more depressed than paranoid."
"Why is that Mr. Android?"
"Call me Marvin, its less depressing. Ask the guide, I'm not in the mood."
"Ok…" Nabiki said a little skeptical as she opened up the guide book. She then saw a yellow computer screen "Uh… Marvin the Paranoid Android." The guide then loaded a video of Marvin working on the Heart of Gold and a 3-D image of him rotating from left to right.
"Although he is Paranoid in the sense that at times that he thinks he's more important than he is, Marvin The Paranoid Android suffers mostly from a sever bout of depression, as he has a brain the size of a planet but rarely has to use it. This also leads to sever boredom. A prototype android of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's "Genuine People Personalities," that is real emotions as if they were people, Marvin is the service android of the Heart of Gold, a job that doesn't usually use his huge brain."
"It doesn't exactly take a genius to make drinks. No offense." Marvin said as he turned to Kasumi.
"Oh, none taken." Kasumi said with a cheer. "I must say, this is a fancy computer."
"No kidding. How much do you think we can get for…?"
"As a warning to potential pirates, looters, and all around thieves: unauthorized selling of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy would result in prosecution to the universe's fullest extent of the law. The punishments range from ether death or Vorgon Poetry."
"'Vogon Poetry?'" Nabiki said out of curiosity.
"I wish you said that with the book closed."
5 minutes and a video clip of a Vogon poetry reading later…
"I GIVE! I WON'T SELL THE DAMN THING!" Nabiki says as soon as she closed the book. Nabiki then looked at Kasumi and saw that she too was affected by the poem as she looked like she held on to an electric fence. "Uh… Kasumi...?"
"HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Kasumi shouted with anger as she snapped out of it.
"And that was the third worse poem reading in the world. I'd hate to see the first two, but thankfully, that's not in this universe." Marvin replied with some boredom.
"Worse! No, way, I re…" Remembering that she had the guide open, Nabiki closed it before continuing. "…fuse to believe that." As soon as she finished, the gang came to.
"Welcome back to the land of the living." Marvin said in the same dull tone. "Though there's not much to live for here." Akane then looked at Marvin with shock.
"You were real!" Akane shouted. "I mean are!"
"I should feel honored, but I don't."
"Forgive the Tomboy… we've just never seen an android before." Ranma said, earning a look from both Akane and P-Chan.
"All will be explained tomorrow. Could you all please get some sleep?" Marvin said sounding board. "That fall gave me a worse headache than Zaphod's lost weekend with his Pan Galatic Gargle Blaster."
"A what?" Genma and Soun asked.
"We'll ask the guide later." Nabiki said. "Sphere head is right."
"Sphere head. I was wrong about my life not getting more depressing." Marvin replied in a depressed tone.
"Anyway," Nabiki continued, "we'll ask any questions tomorrow. If I don't sleep, I get cranky."
"Alright." Soun said. "We'll resume this in the morning. It was nice to meet you Marvin. We'll talk more tomorrow."
"Huh. You haven't gotten to know me yet obviously." Marvin said in a board tone.
The next day, Kasumi woke up to do her normal chores and she saw that Marvin was cleaning up the kitchen and the book was on the table.
"Morning Kasumi." Marvin said in the same bored tone as last night.
"Good morning Marvin." Kasumi said with her usual cheerful tone. "You don't have to do that, you're our guest."
"I don't see what's so good about it. And unlike some of your guests, I'd like to earn my keep as depressing as that sounds."
"In some galaxies, the Ranma 1/2 manga is used as a 'How NOT to' book on being a long term guest. This experimental method in educating good manners was a surprising success and the planets that started it are currently looking at Pokemon for a 'How to' on pets."
"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad." Kasumi said trying to defend Ranma and Genma. "And how did it respond while closed? It didn't when Nabiki…"
"Nabiki didn't say anything specific when she refused to believe me. The Guide always works even when closed." Marvin said still sounding board as Kasumi just smiled and started breakfast. A few minutes later, the whole Tendo family and the Saotomaes were downstairs eating Kasumi's scrambled eggs and bacon.
"Why don't you sit down and join us… Marvin is it?" Soun kindly asked.
"Yes it is. But I can't eat. No mouth and I'm an android. Androids don't eat, which is very sad." Marvin said sounding depressed causing Soun to freak out at how sad his guest got at his request just as Marvin was sitting down.
"So, what is this book/laptop thingy?" Ranma said as he was giving the guide the once over.
"That 'thingy' is the Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy and is used so that those hitchhiking don't wind up on the wrong end of the universe." Marvin said in a board tone. "Ask about it in the guide. It will tell you its history."
"Ok." Akane said as she, and everybody else, gathered around the Guide. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." As soon as Akane said that, the book came to life as an image of itself begin to play.
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is currently the number one seller in the entire universe. From The Great Publishing Corporations Of Ursa Minor, the guide has currently outsold the Encyclopedia Galatica, and is more controversial than the three best sellers by Oolong Coluphid: 'Where God Went Wrong.'"
As soon as the book said that, an image of a book with the female symbol appeared.
"HEY!" Akane and Nabiki said together out of anger.
"Oh my, that's not nice." Kasumi scolded, causing the Saotomaes to laugh.
"Some more of God's Greatest Mistakes." A book with the male symbol appeared.
"HEY!" Ranma and Genma said together, causing the three Tendo sisters to snicker.
"And 'Who is this God Person Anyway?'" Then an image of a book, with the outline of a human and a question mark appeared. Then they all fell as if they were on a cut fishing line and then an image of the Universe appeared.
"This book is a survival guide to the known universe, at least the universe it was created for. Various hitchhikers from around the galaxy has filled this book with the appropriate info and each entry is to make sure that its user can survive from one end of the universe to the other. It comes with various warnings for whenever a hitchhiker winds up in a planet they've never been to before. In the event of a situation however, the book comes with the words 'Don't Panic' on the back of the book."
Sure enough, when Akane and the others checked the back, there in big red lettering was "Don't Panic."
"Wow." Nabiki said showing some uncharacteristic shock and awe. "Wait… the book said the 'Universe it was created,' so you guys are from another world? And another thing, how do you know our names?"
"Took you long enough to ask that." Marvin said, still sounding board.
"Well… we were in shock of seeing a mini android and a crater." Ranma said.
"Well, to answer both, I'm from another reality where this is all an anime. Though I can't say if it is right now since I never was in it."
"Wait… so you and other people have seen us? And me in my…" Akane said getting a little shocked.
"Yes. The whole galaxy myself included saw you in your knickers. Don't see what the appeal is, but then again I am an and--" But Marvin was interrupted when Akane got angry and got out her hammer.
"YOU PERVERT!" She was about to mallet the android…
"…do that." Marvin said sounding unimpressed as Akane vibrated from the hit while her mallet split in two.
"Although a Vorgon's bullet has been shown to penetrate Marvin's head, he is made from an alloy that isn't on any of Earth's periodic tables, thus making Earth weapons useless. Also, it's been proven that if you did penetrate his head, he can still function after a brief shut down."
As the Guide said this, Marvin fighting the Vogons with the Point of View Gun was showing. This caused Ranma and Akane to look at the android.
"That's the point of view gun, makes you see things from the holder's point of view as it implies. It didn't come with me."
"So, how did you get here?" Ranma said after Akane calmed down from both the anger and the shock of the mallet not working.
"My world invented something called the Implausible Drive." Marvin said sounding semi-depressed about it. "It's this device that causes travel at implausible speeds but as a side effect, space itself becomes implausible. At one point for example, two of my friends when they wound up on the ship I was on, due to the drive, turned into sofas. As for how I got here, the man that originally high jacked the ship so he can find the answer to the ultimate question left the door open and when we passed through your dimension on our way to the restaurant on the other end of the Universe, and I wound up here." This caused the families to look in shock.
"You and your friends were trying to find the answer to the ultimate question and when that was done, you went to a restaurant on the OTHER SIDE of the Universe!" Soun asked shocked.
"Yes. The answer though wasn't exactly what he or the people that originally asked wanted to hear though."
"Wait… wait… wait!" Ranma said sounding a bit confused. "Your universe has a way to find out the meaning of life, the uni…"
"42." Marvin said. "That's the answer, 42."
"42!" Everybody said shocked.
"Well, another problem was that they didn't know the exact question, so the computer couldn't come up with an exact answer." Kasumi then blinked out of it and looked at the clock.
"Oh my! Ranma, Akane, Nabiki! You'll be late!" Kasumi said as she was rushing the three out with their stuff.
"You're right!" Akane said as she grabbed Ranma and ran out with Nabiki. "We'll talk some more later Marvin!" Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki were then out of sight shortly after that. Just then however, Kasumi had a bit of shock and concern on her face.
"Oh no, I forgot to make their lunches." Kasumi said sadly.
"You make them and I'll deliver." Marvin said as he turned to her. "I might as well explore, seeing as I'm going to be on this mud ball for awhile. Mostly likely forever."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Kasumi asked concerned.
"Just tell me where to drop them off and let me have a free hand to carry the Guide with me. No offense, but with the NWC here, leaving the guide unattended is down right dreadful."
"NWC?" Genma asked.
"Nerima Wrecking Crew."
"Just great, the one time we forget our lunches is when Shampoo has a delivery on the other side of town, and Uchan is visiting her father." Ranma sighs under a shady tree in the school's yard.
"Oh? And you want them here for what reason?" Akane said sounding jealous and ready to kill.
"It's not what you think! I'm just hung--" But before Ranma can finish defending his life, Kuno came from behind and knocked him down.
"Fair Akane, please take my bounty of food if you are starv--" But just like Ranma when he was talking, Kuno too was interrupted by the sounds of a curious student body.
"What on Earth is that thing?"
"Its head, it's huge!"
"Yours would be too if you had a brain the size of a planet." Came the sound of someone bored.
"Hey, that sounds like Marvin!" Ranma remarked as he, Akane, and Kuno went to find out where everybody was gathering.
"I feel like a circus freak. This is so depressing." Marvin said sounding sad.
"Awwwwwwwwwww." One student said. "Are you in a costume little boy? Are you lost?"
"No more than you evidently." Marvin said in a board tone. He then saw Ranma and Akane and walked to them while everybody looked on. "Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me." He said to the various gatherers. "Kasumi made these for you guys." He then handed the food to the teens that were ecstatic because she made their favorite.
"Thanks Marvin." Ranma said. "You really didn't have to though, Kuno was gonna give us…"
"I was going to give my food to Akane you vile cur!" Kuno said. "And who are you spherical one?"
"I'm Marvin. I'm an android. I'd go into more detail, but it's a bit depressing."
"Why so sad spherical one? 'Tis a beautiful afternoon with my feirce…"
"And I thought crash landing here was the lowest point of my life, now I got to hear this?" Marvin said sounding depressed.
"What?" Kuno said sounding surprised. "How can you call the great Blue Thunder depressing?"
"Believe me, it's the nicest thing anybody from where I'm from can say." Marvin replied sounding bored with all of this.
"Although many know the Kunos to be a pair of fictional beings, much like the Greece Police Force calling a bumbler a 'Clusio,' many species call those who are stuck in ancient times in their mind while lusting after several members of the opposite or same sex/species, or those completely oblivious to what's in front of them, a 'Kuno' or 'Blue Thunder.' This is the Earth equivalent of either 'Moron' or 'Mentally ill' depending on its context. The phrase 'Acting like a Kuno' means mentally ill, while the phrase 'What a Kuno,' or just 'Kuno' means moron." The closed book said.
"Who said that!" Kuno said outraged.
"My book." Marvin said sounding as if this was dull. "Just be happy it wasn't opened, otherwise you'd see an animation of you acting really stupid. Though I don't see how that's different from any other day."
"WHY YOU METALIC DEMON!" Kuno shouted as he struck…
…and didn't do a thing to Marvin's head.
"I'm willing to bet that the only thing you people haven't encountered were those from other planets." Marvin said dully.
"Although Nerima is home to extreme martial artists, Amazons with memory altering shampoo or hidden weapons and objects in a small robe, or even chefs that use their cooking as an offensive skill, this district has yet to encounter even a UFO. Coincidently, on our world, many species agree that unless you're into chaos and mass violence, Nerima would be designated as an 'Avoid at all cost' or 'No Space Flight Zone.' This explains why Akane and Kuno thought a mere mallet strike or Kuno's typical melon smashing technique would have the same effects they always do, and why the Saotomaes and Tendos fainted shortly after seeing Marvin."
"Well, that answered that." Just then, they heard what sounded like a 10 year old girl.
"WHAT'S GOIN ON OUT HERE!"
A 10 year old ANGRY girl. Sure enough, in her yellow dress, was Ms. Hinako and she looked angry.
"This is not Halloween! And you're starting trouble!" The angry teacher said. "Explain yourself!"
"Again, I'm an android." Marvin said with a really board tone. "I'm getting tired of pointing that out."
"An android! Unlikely! They're only in science fiction delinquent!" She then got out her coin with a hole in the center. "HAPPO NO YIN SEN SU!" And she tried to drain his energy.
"That's not a good idea." Marvin said in a depressed tone.
"Although not human, Marvin's attitude and depression is genuine to the point where he admits the emotions part of chi. It is theorized by some scientists that the point of view gun is able to use this part of the chi and thus is the reason the gun is able to cause the target to feel the same emotions about various events that the shooter has. The end result…"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'LL NEVER BE A GROWN UP! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"…the emotions of the shooter are transferred to the target like so, such as the case with Hinkao's Happo No Yin Sen Su."
"Told you." Marvin said in a dull tone.
"W-what happened?" Akane said while looking at the crying Hinkao.
"I'm an android. I don't have chi. The only part of me that can be considered chi is my emotions, so the end result is a depressed teacher. Sad, isn't it?"