It's Not All Right, But It's Okay
Eddie loves being a (New New) Teen Titan. He did even before they all actually started working together as a team, as opposed to just a vaguely together group of semi-superheroes led by Robin.
Vic Stone is awake, but even the Wonder Twins know that Robin is in charge. No matter how not together his head is at times.
Eddie loves being a Titan, but he didn't when he first joined. The Tower was too weird, Robin was too strange, the twins were way too invasive with all their fucking questions, and he was just way too lonely. Then Rose showed up, and if it wasn't enough that she used to be a supervillain, and had stabbed out her own eye, and smoked – which, well, definitely the lesser of all her evils, but the only one accepted by society, which made it more…something – she had the brass to wear a costume that even he could tell was a real fashion don't. Orange and blue together, with bellbottoms?
And she was still hot. Completely smoking hot, pardon the self-pun. It's why he pretty much latched onto her and tried to learn everything about her. He feels disgustingly grateful that she didn't get so sick and tired of him following her around all the time that she ran him through with one of her swords.
Because of his intensive study, he knows things about her now, friend things. He knows she likes fruit more than any other food group, that she swears almost accidentally, feels most comfortable in skin-tight clothing (thank you, Jesus), and while she loves the way the boots on her costume make her look, really prefers going barefoot. Her favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, she prefers Marlboros to Camels, and her favorite song is Bitch by Meredith Brooks.
It's why he knows that she pretty much exemplifies that song, because she's so tough and so strong, but that's only on the outside. It's what she wants you to see, wants you to think she is, as opposed to what she doesn't want you to see, which is what she really is: a scared child who could never live up to her father's expectations, always trying to belong, never feeling like she ever fit in.
Eddie can relate.
He knows her now, but he doesn't always, or even most of the time, understand her. That's okay, though. Normally it's all right for her to just surprise him out of the blue, but sometimes…
It's why he was practically speechless that time she lit her cigarette on his fire. Almost made him come right there, and if he had, he felt sure he would have done something completely lame, like ask for one of her cigarettes. Blue Devil says smoking is a sin – not like he cares anymore – but it's not like a little tobacco could do any real harm to his lungs, right?
Not even secondhand, like now. Rose has always been more than a little random – it's what he likes about her, truth be told – but she's never kissed him before, so even though she moved in slow and searching, it still feels like it hit him out of nowhere, like a heat-seeking missile.
He's got a furnace in his gut, but she's so warm, and God, she feels so good…
And this is so wrong. Rose is his friend, and this, this is way more than friendly, and hey, didn't she have sort of a thing for Robin?
Only Robin was, well… Eddie's heard enough about the old team from Vic – and Marvin and Wendy have filled in the blanks on tons of stuff they shouldn't know, but totally do because they're even nosier than Robin – and he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but Wonder Girl isn't the only one mourning Superboy.
It obviously isn't just that Rose is too forward for Robin. It might be an exaggeration to say that she's too female, but…
But she isn't for him. She's here, kissing him, and Eddie doesn't know what to do. Sure, he's thought about it – what red-blooded (okay, his is so dark he isn't actually sure what color it is, but his skin is red) male wouldn't? He just, well, didn't think it would ever actually happen, so he didn't bother to think of whether it was just a fantasy or, well, more.
He doesn't know whether he should just go with it or not, and if he were a different person, without, say, the ability to impersonate Satan in his teenager years, maybe he could… But…Rose is the closest thing he's ever had to a best friend, and, well, he doesn't want to fuck that up.
Her kisses are turning desperate now, and not in the desperate to come way – he doesn't think – more like the, 'I'm not good enough again,' way, or the, 'Why doesn't anyone want me?' way, and he can so totally understand that. And Rose is his best friend, and maybe if this isn't the right thing to do, well, he always lands on his feet (metaphorically speaking), and Rose is always okay, so maybe…
So he kisses back. Tries to make it as good as he knows how – which isn't very; fangirls go for metahumans that are more human than meta in the looks department – and her lips gentle, and her mouth opens in a gasp and…yeah. That's…nice. Soft, softer than he knew Rose was, but just as fragile as she seems sometimes – at least around him.
And, well, maybe this isn't all right, but…it's okay.