Disclaimer: If I owned Charmed, I wouldn't be writing a disclaimer. But it's here, so I don't.
Summary: Paige has a cold. Unfortunately, her sneezes tend to have bad consequences. Slightly AU with a dash of Chris revelation thrown in.
Paige sniffled miserably.
"I hate colds!" she wailed to no one in particular. Her oldest sister grinned as she came into the room carrying a tray of lunch.
"Look on the bright side. At least you haven't sneezed yet." Piper said, as she set the tray on Paige's bed and settled herself beside it.
"Bite your togue. Dowing by luck, I'll sdeeze just to spite you ad orb to adother alternate reality where I'b dead." Paige joked, slightly serious.
"Yeah, see that's just not funny when you know it'll probably happen." Piper smiled.
"Piper, why cad't I go to work?" Paige asked. "I hate beig cooped up id by bedroob. It sucks."
"Paige, can you hear yourself speaking?" Piper laughed. "I can only understand every fifth word! Besides, I'm sure you're raison d'etre can wait for another few days until you're well. What if you end up orbing every time you sneeze again?"
"Piper, dat happed odce. It wod't happed agaid. I cad't believe you're restraidig be to bed just because I have a cold!" Paige groaned.
"Well, take plenty of Vitamin C, get some rest and you'll be back to normal in no time." Piper consoled. "And look at it this way. At least Chris will give you a break from demon vanquishing for a few days."
"That's true." Paige agreed, looking slightly more cheerful. The room filled up with orb lights and the subject of their discussions appeared.
"Hey." Chris greeted.
"NO!" Paige and Piper said at the same time, glaring at him.
"Paige has a cold, and the rest of us need a break too!" Piper explained. "We will vanquish demons later."
"No, Chris. Paige can't even pronounce her n's or m's. She won't be able to say a vanquishing spell." Piper told him.
"All right, fine. I know when I'm beaten. Don't let her sneeze." The witchlighter warned, then orbed out, probably to vanquish demons himself. Not that his unknown mother and aunt guessed this, of course.
"Ok, I've got to go check on Wyatt." Piper said, sighing in relief that they had escaped Chris' enthusiasm. "Chris was right. Don't sneeze." She continued, getting up and bringing a box of tissues from Paige's dresser over to her. She left the room, leaving the other witchlighter to her ponderings. One thing was prominent in her mind.
'How does Chris know what happens when I sneeze?'
Piper smiled at her baby son, making sure he was fast asleep before leaving the room, baby monitor in hand. She made her way down to the kitchen, meaning to have an early lunch herself before she had to get to the club to set up. As she entered the room, the phone began ringing. She picked the handset out of its cradle and set the baby monitor down on the island.
"Hello, Halliwell residence. Oh, hey Phoebe… She's ok, a bit annoyed that she has to stay in bed…he is? Ok, we won't disturb your date…tell Elise the column's been emailed to her office if she calls looking for you, got it. All right. Have a good time. Bye!"
She replaced the phone and set about making herself lunch. When she was finished, she headed up to Paige's room to ask her to keep an eye on Wyatt. She knocked on the door and went in.
"Paige, I have to go to P3 to set up, will you… Paige?" The lunch tray she had brought up earlier sat abandoned on the empty bed.
'Uh-oh.' Piper thought.
"Paige. Paige!" she called, going out of the room. She checked the bathroom, Wyatt's room and Phoebe's before heading up to the attic. The Book stood closed on its pedestal and there was nothing to suggest Paige had been up there at all.
"Chris!" Piper called out, beginning to worry. The young Whitelighter appeared beside her immediately, covered in grunge.
"What happened to you?" Piper asked, staring at him.
"Doesn't matter. What do you want?" Chris replied, brushing the question off.
"Paige is gone. I came up to ask her to mind Wyatt, and she had just vanished! She isn't anywhere in the house, and I need you to sense for her." Piper explained. Chris nodded, and closed his eyes, casting out his senses. After a few seconds he opened them again.
"I can't sense her. Did she sneeze?" he asked. Piper shrugged.
"Like I said, I wasn't there. Why? You don't think she could have sneezed out of this plane, do you?" she questioned anxiously.
"I'm not sure. Paige's colds are really awkward. Nearly every time, she ends up orbing herself to another dimension." He told her.
"How do you know that?" Piper asked, eyes narrowed. Chris shrugged.
"Magic history. She ended up, will end up, discovering nearly twenty other dimensions."
"But I thought you said she died when the Titans attacked." Piper threw at him. Chris shifted uncomfortably.
"She did, the first time around."
"Huh?" Piper asked eloquently.
"My memories are changing. Slightly, though. When you stopped the Titans, you stopped Paige dying at that moment in time. But don't ask anything more." He told Piper sharply. "You have no idea what sort of –"
"Future consequences could happen, blah, blah, I've heard it a thousand times before, Chris. And I still say you're worrying about it too much."
"Trust me." Chris answered darkly. "I'm not."
"Fine. Let's just concentrate on finding my sister, ok?" Piper instructed. Chris nodded.
"Why don't you try the blood summoning spell?" he suggested. "And maybe you should call Phoebe, too."
"No. She's on a date with Jason." Piper countered. "We can do this without her." She moved over to the Book, flicking through the pages until she found what she was looking for.
"Got it." She informed Chris.
"Go? This will just summon Paige to me." Piper said confusedly.
"No, it will take you to her. You have to reverse it so you can find her. If you just summon her without finding out where she is, we won't know where to look for her if she sneezes and goes missing again." Chris replied, looking at her like she was an idiot.
"What? Are you crazy? I can't just leave Wyatt alone! Plus, there's the club. I have a live band tonight, one of my managers is on maternity leave, and another is out on holidays! I can't just go tramping across dimensions looking for Paige!" she exclaimed.
"Piper, relax. I can look after Wyatt. And I can set up at the club, I've done it before." Chris offered, trying to calm his mother down.
"When have you ever looked after P3?" Piper asked cuttingly.
"I didn't say I'd looked after P3. There are other nightclubs, Piper." Chris said, trying to cover up his mistake.
"Oh. Yeah, but still…"
"No buts, Piper. You worry about Paige, and I'll worry about Wyatt and the club. Ok?"
"Fine. But I swear, Chris, if I come back and Wyatt is hurt, or, or you've burned down the club, or…"
"Thank you for your faith in me, Piper. Look, I know you don't trust me usually, but just trust me this time. Everything is going to be fine. Now just go. For all you know, Paige could be dead already!"
"Ok, ok, I'm going." Piper growled. She took a deep breath and recited the blood summoning spell. After a few moments wait, white lights surrounded her. They disappeared, taking Piper with them.
AnimeAlexis: What do you think? It's not "He's not your son", but I'm working on that too, I promise! Review please! And be nice!