Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed. If I did, there would be no question about a Wyatt and Chris spin-off.
A/N: Why am I writing this story when I have so many others I should be working on? Because the idea got stuck in my head, and I think "Blinded by the Whitelighter" is just about the funniest Charmed episode there is. Now, that's just my opinion. This is probably going to be more humor than plot. I mean, what else can you expect when you put Wyatt and Chris in the same place as a rule-abiding Natalie?
Blinded by the Whitelighter/Witch/Elder Hybrid
"Tell me again why we have to use a potion?" Wyatt asked as he filled another vial with a dark blue liquid.
"Because these assassins are very powerful warlocks who have studied every aspect of our powers very extensively," Chris explained exasperatedly. Suddenly, a leather-clad woman shimmers into the dining room along with a tall, similarly clothed man. Without wasting anytime, the two brothers each throw a vial of potion at them. However, at the same time, the two warlocks throw potion vials of their own, which meet the other vials mid-flight, resulting in a huge explosion that throws all four of them back.
The smoke clears, but they are no longer alone.
"What the hell?" a much younger Piper exclaimed. The two warlocks looked at each and then shimmered out.
"Oh, boy," Chris said, looking from his much younger mom, to his much younger dad, to the woman he recognized as Aunt Prue, and finally to the woman he had never met.
"Now who the hell are you?" Piper asked, looking very annoyed.
"Yeah, sorry, we're not supposed to be here," Wyatt said sheepishly. "Potions must have interacted the wrong way, throwing us into the past. Um, we'll just leave and let you go on about your business." They started to slowly back towards the door.
"Not so fast, mister," Prue said. They froze. "You can't just appear here and tell us your from the future and then go on your merry way. Get back here." They walked back towards the table. "Now sit down." They sat. "Good. Now, you were saying something about a warlock stealing your charge's deflection power."
"Yes, which is why all Whitelighters have been put on alert."
"Alert? Why wasn't I told?" Leo asked.
"You would have been, if you had attended this morning's staff meeting," Natalie said pointedly.
"You have staff meetings?" Piper asked, not even trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.
"Yeah, and let me tell you," Wyatt said. "They're a bitch to attend."
"They require mandatory attendance," Natalie said and then turned to Wyatt. "How would you know?"
"Yeah, you never go," Chris pointed out.
"I've been more than you," Wyatt said matter-of-factly. "You've only been to one, I, however, attended two."
"You two must be Whitelighters from the future," Prue said, stepping in.
Chris and Wyatt looked at each other. "Not exactly," Chris said, "and it doesn't really matter right now. Continue, forget we're here." He sank back into his seat. He glared at Wyatt until he did the same.
"Anyway," Leo said, looking at the two strangely before turning back to the others. "If a charge is in need, you are excused. And Piper needed me."
"Right," Piper said uncertainly and then realized what he was talking about. "Right!" she said, holding up her finger.
"I'm going to assume a demon attacked her finger," Natalie said and went on to preach about the rules of healing.
"It's going to be fun messing with her," Wyatt whispered to Chris.
"We'd have to erase their memories later," Chris murmured.
"We'd have to do that anyway. At least we can have some fun first," Wyatt pointed out softly. Chris just smiled mischievously.
Natalie started clicking and clacking at Leo, berating him in the Whitelighter language.
"Whitelighter-ese?" Prue said, looking at Piper in confusion.
"Click-clack, Piper, clickety clack," Natalie said.
"Well, I guess we know what they're talking about," Piper said grumpily.
"That's not very nice, you know," Wyatt pointed out. "The guy is doing the best he can."
Natalie stopped and looked at him. "And how would a Whitelighter from the future know this?"
"Who said we were Whitelighters?" Chris asked.
"Well, then, what are you?" Natalie asked in reply.
"Don't you think you guys should check the Book of Shadows?" Wyatt asked innocently. "You know, for that warlock?"
"Yeah, I'll go get it. It's in the attic," Prue said,
moving towards the door.
"Don't you mean the alter room?" Natalie asked, scandalized. "The rules are very clear! Every witch must keep their Book of Shadows in a sacred and protected spot!"
"Man, would she blow a gasket if she knew that you had once lost our Book because you had accidentally kicked it under the bed and it got buried under a mountain of dirty clothes," Chris told Wyatt, perfectly aware that Natalie could hear every word he said.
"What?" she said appalled.
"Dad blew a gasket, grounded me for a week," Wyatt complained.
"You're lucky it wasn't Mom, she would have grounded you for a month."
Like I said, mainly humor, but those warlocks will have to be attended to.