Title: Emails of a Fabric Softener Teddy Bear.

Disclaimer: We don't own Supernatural. If we did, would we really be posting this here?

Warnings: None, really. Slight language.

Setting: Uh... set some time after Provenance.

A/N: This is a very random story. Slightly lame, but... we thought it was funny. Please review!


To: sammy.w

From: dean.w

Subject: My new 'Ppltalk' account!

Isn't this great? Sammy, I set you up an account with this new email service simply for communication sakes. Could you pass the box of Lucky Charms? I'm starving.

From Dean.


To: dean.w

From: sammy.w

Subject: RE: My new 'Ppltalk' account!

Okay. First of all: My name is Sam. NOT Sammy. Second of all: I already have an email address. I don't need another one. Third: we are sitting right next to each other. Why do you feel the need to email me?

Lastly: Those aren't Lucky Charms. They're Cheerios.

From Sam. NOT Sammy or Samantha.


To: f.s.teddy.bear

From: dean.w

Subject: I WILL kill you!

You just wait now, you son-of-a-bitch. With my new email account you're goin' down!

From Dean.

AKA The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer


To: dean.w

From: f.s.teddy.bear

Subject: Muahahahahaha!

You just wait... I have friends. And YOU are going down. I'll make the fabric on your shirt so soft you'll think it was raining little bunny tails.

P.S: My name is Snuggle.


To: f.s.teddy.bear

From: dean.w

Subject: RE: Muahahahahaha!

I'll get you! And F.Y.I, the Wikipedia article on ME is bigger than the one on YOU.

From Dean.

AKA The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer


To: sammy.w

From: dean.w

Subject: Snuggle

Dude, we HAVE to get that fabric softener teddy bear. I swear, if I have to listen to that little brat talk about the fabric on my shirt ONE more time-

BTW, did you realize we have Wikipedia articles on us? Sweet.

From Dean.

AKA The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer


To: dean.w

From: sammy.w

Subject: RE: Snuggle

Dean, I think you have a complex. I mean, I know we've seen some stuff that would mess ANYONE's head up pretty damn badly, but you need to find a way to deal with it. Going after Snuggle isn't going to solve our problems, okay?

From Sam.

P.S: 'Dean The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer'? Maybe you should lay off the Buffy episodes. Go back to Oprah, man.


To: john.w

From: sammy.w

Subject: Dean

Dad, we need to talk. Dean's been acting really strange. Like, stranger than usual. He keeps saying he wants to kill Snuggle. I was hoping maybe you could try and talk some sense into him.

From Sam.


To: sammy.w

From: john.w

Subject: RE: Dean

Sam, have you tried holy water? I don't want anything to happen to you boys, but... Snuggle comes first. He's got through many a long day with that fabric softener.

From Dad.

P.S: I'm sending a shirt out to you boys. Maybe this'll help Dean see that all Snuggle does is good.


To: john.w

From: sammy.w

Subject: RE: RE: Dean.

Dad, I really don't think a shirt is going to help Dean. This isn't about Snuggle, anyway. It's about Dean.

He needs help.

From Sam.


To: devil.in.da.making

From: dean.w

Subject: I need your help!

Meg,

Now, listen up, normally I wouldn't come near you or even talk to you if I could help it, but the situation is getting desperate. That fabric softener teddy bear is up to something, I know it... That's why I need your help. Dad and Sammy aren't listening to me... that teddy bear is a killer and I swear to god I'm gonna TAKE HIM DOWN!

From Dean.

AKA The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer


To: moldywart.wannabe

From: devil.in.da.making

Subject: Snuggle

Master,

Those Winchester boys are getting close. I can feel it... the father, John, already knows the signs. Our master plan is safe, though –for now- as Dean is the only one who suspects. Snuggle apparently keeps provoking the older brother. I was wondering if you'd have a word with him?

-Meg Masters.


To: f.s.teddy.bear

From: moldywart.wannabe

Subject: Provoking the brothers

Dear Snuggle,

I was chatting with Meg and she told me you were provoking the eldest. You know very well why you can't and if it happens again, there will be severe consequences, such as the absence of your fabric softening powers.

Do I make myself clear?

From the next Dark Lord


To: moldywart.wannabe

From: f.s.teddy.bear

Subject: Sorry, Master

I am very sorry, Master. As a token of my regret, please accept this already-softened shirt.

-Snuggle.


To: f.s.teddy.bear

From: moldywart.wannabe

Subject: RE: Sorry, Master

Thank you, Snuggle. Does it come in purple?

From the next Dark Lord


To: dean.w

From: sammy.w

Subject: Therapy

Dean, I just wanted to know you have an appointment with a psychiatrist at eleven am tomorrow morning. I can come with you, if you'd like some support. You just need to know that you have nothing to worry about, that the psychiatrist is only there to help you.

-Sam.


To: sammy.w

From: dean.w

Subject: RE: Therapy

Sammy, have I not made myself clear? I DO NOT want some guy examining my head!

From Dean.

AKA The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer


To: dean.w

From: sammy.w

Subject: RE: RE: Therapy

The psychiatrist is a woman.

-Sam.


To: sammy.w

From: dean.w

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Therapy

When can we leave?

From Dean.

AKA The Fabric Softener Teddy Bear Slayer


A/N: Please review, and tell us what you thought! Should we write more, or leave it at that?