A/N: This is my absolute first attempt at actually writing a "mature" scene. Sure, I've read a bunch...but actually writing one...nuh uh. So, while I appreciate reviews...try not to be too hard on me. I'm fragile. Jk. Anyways, this is set up like LMMS where I have a litle bit of lyrics at the beginning to set up the chapter. But this one is in Derek's POV all the way to the end. The song is 'Mistakes We Knew We Were Making' by Mae. I absolutely love Mae and all their songs. Most of them remind me of LWD and the whole idea of Dasey, which is why this is my second fic to a Mae song. They're inspiring. Okay I won't ramble on anymore, just Please Read & Review! Thanks a bunch! -Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the lyrics from the Mae song.
Love Is Blinding
We made plans to be unbreakable. Love was all we knew. No insurance for the unthinkable. Blindly get us through. We've been searching for a lifetime, short as it may seem. Riding on the fumes that spark us, while igniting dreams.
Casey was sitting propped against the head board of her bed, reading a book, when I found her. I had pushed open her door gently and quietly. I leaned agains her doorway, a smirk gracing my lips, as I waited for her to look up at me. She slipped a marker ino her page and closed her book, letting it rest in her lap. Finally she turned her eyes to meet mine.
"Derek, what do you want?" Casey replied softly, smiling all the while.
"Edwin and Lizzie are being dropped off at a friend's birthday party. Dad and Nora have taken Marti for a fun day out on the town. So that means you and I are..." I began to explain.
"Here all alone?" Casey finished.
"Marveous observation Casey." I smirked.
"What ever can we do?" Casey questioned.
My smile widened as those words left her lips. I pushed away from the doorway and moved toward her. I sat at the end of the bed and then shifted a bit. I crawled over her body, slowly, so we ended up face to face just inches from each other. I ignored the slight motion of her placing her book on her bedside table, and kept my eyes on hers. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked directly into Casey's eyes.
"I can think of a few things." I mumured just before I pressed my lips to hers.
Barely a moment later I felt her wrap her arms around my neck. She kissed me harder, more urgently, almost desperate like. For a person who took a lot of time in all she did, she was never really that patient with these kind of things. See, I know first hand. It makes me feel special to know that I'm the only one that knows Casey's habits. Just me.
I am pulled from my thoughts by Casey squeezing me tighter and letting one hand slide down my back. Even through my shirt the feel of her nails on my back sent chills down my spine. I get a feeling she's just too good. She knows just how to...do that. Wow.
With Casey, I tend to get caught up and lose track of everything. And when I say everything, I mean absolutely everything. Apparantly Casey is the same way. My focus is completely centered on her. I don't pick up on footsteps, or doors--that are supposed to be locked--opening. And as one of the few things we have in common, Casey doesn't either. That causes moments like this to be too few in number. We don't get many chances to be alone together without any possibility of being caught, so we savor the ones we get. Like this one. I'll never admit it to her, but I prefer to go slow anyway, just to annoy her--and her fast ways.
I grin when a moan slips from Casey's lips and reaches my ears. My hands move to slip under the thin, scrap of fabric Casey has the nerve to call a shirt. I stroke my fingers across her stomach, and she twists under me as a giggle bubbles up out of her throat. She's incredibly ticklish and I exploit that knowledge. In response to my roaming hands, Casey allows her hands to slip under my shirt and slide up and down my back. She ever so slightly runs her nails along my spine and she smiles against my mouth when I physically shudder from the contact.
After awhile I decide her shirt has just become an obstruction and begin to tug it upward. She shifts her weight just enough so I can get it off and over my shoulder. As I expected, she immediately began to pull on my shirt. She never lets me have the advantage. I pulled away for a moment to comply to her demanding hands, and rid myself of the offending garment.
As I came back to her, I kissed her lightly on the lips in an attempt to slow her down a bit. But Casey just wouldn't have it. One of her hands tangled in my hair a little forcing me closer. I opened my mouth to her and her tongue swept in to explore my mouth. I never let any girl do that, until Casey. It wasn't really my thing, but Casey liked it. Enjoyed it, really. And I enjoyed her enjoying it. Cheesy, yes I know but true. I was all about Casey, and always would be, as I had decided.
My breath caught in my throat as Casey's free hand slipped past the waist band of my jeans. I completely missed her unbuttoning and unzipping them. Man, she moves fast. And this girl has a firm grip too. Although I already knew that, from past experience. I let out a strangled moan as my head came to rest on her shoulder and her fingers worked around me.Yes, I have decided she is too good at this. I should have known better. Casey is good at everything she does. Why would that ever exclude this?
Frustrated with the lack of skin to skin contact, I gently pushed her hand away and kicked off my jeans. A moment later I dragged the short, cotton shorts Casey was wearing off of her. Almost there not quite, but almost.
"Derek..." Casey sighed out my name. Her eyes had closed and I could hear the importance reflected in her voice. I could feel it oozing off of her.
"Patience." I murmured right against her ear. I was taunting her, teasing her. Satisfied with the moan that escaped her throat not a mometn after I captured her lips again.
"Patience? Are you seriously asking me to be patient?" Casey replied pulling away slightly to look at me. The words came out in short gasps of breath, "We get this kind of alone time, once every...I don't know how long! But that doesn't matter. I want to make the most of what little time we get...but I miss you."
"You see me everyday." I said, and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"Not like this." I agreed, "But I don't want to feel rushed. And you're making me feel rushed."
"I am not rushing you I just...okay I'm rushing you, but it's been so long since last time..."
"I know how long it's been." I said against her skin as I nuzzled into the crook of her neck. "Believe me I know."
"I just want..."
"Can't I just..."
Finally I resorted to the only effective way of silencing Casey. I kissed her, thouroughly I might add. I reached around her back to unclasp her bra and dismissed it easily across the room. She dipped her head down to kiss along my jawline. My eyes fluttered shut against the sensation. I felt a smile stretch across her face rather than saw it. She knows me way to well.
Obviously my little talk on pattience did nothing to defer Casey's intentions already she was pulling on my boxers, tugging forcefully. I chuckled at her obvious frustration as they refused to move. I pulled back to get a good look at her. The look in her eyes told me she wanted them off and she wanted them off now. I smirked at her and she scowled. Yes, she knows me too well. While I usually always give her what she wants, it doesn't mean I give it to her right away.
I leaned in and kissed her deeply as my hand slowly made it's way down her side. I looped my fingers in the elastic of her panties and slid them down incredibly slow, so slow that it barely registered on her clouded senses. I nudged her leg with my knee and she lifted her body just enough to allow me to pull them off. As yet another piece of clothing was discarded, I brought my hand back up her leg, slowly trailing over her bare thigh. She gasped into my mouth when to stroke her. She bucked slightly against my hand, urging me closer, further, deeper. I'm getting the feeling she's frustrated with my slowness. That's funny, because I'm usually associated with fastness--in all aspects of my life...Just not here I guess.
When I felt her getting close I pulled away my hand. She broke our kiss and groaned against my cheek. I just smirked. Seeing her all worked up, just makes it all the better for me.
"Derek..." Casey breathed into my ear, her breath warm on my face. "Please..."
Because she asked so nicely and I was starting to feel a little impatient as well--even though I was the one keeping it slow--I complied. I shoved my boxers down and kicked them the rest of the way off. Casey pulled my head back down to her and kissed me fully on the mouth. On of her hands slid down to grip my shoulder and the other remained tangled at the back of my head. I let one of my hands slip behind her head to cradle her there. The other rested on her hip to hold her still as I sunk into her.Her back arched up to meet my thrust and her moan was stiffled by my mouth.
We found out rhythm quickly out of familiarity. I kept the pace slow, or as slow as I possibly could, which may not actually be viewed as slow at all. Casey was clinging to me tighter letting me know she was getting closer. Her grip on my shoulder was borderline painful but I ignored it as my focus on it shifted to the feeling of Casey's mouth on my throat. My eyes fluttered closed and I leaned into her even more.
I was drowning. Absolutely drowning. She was all I could see, hear and smell. I was so close and so was she. I could feel it. We sped up a little as we neared the edge. She went over first and I followed quickly after. I dropped my head to rest against her shoulder. I heard her sigh into my hair. Her fingers loosened their grip on my shoulder. She rubbed her fingertips gently over the marks she had created there.
"Sorry." She whispered and pressed a feather light kiss to my temple.
I mumbled a response and rolled off her to lay next to her. She turned over to curl up against my side. I pulled her tangled blankets over the both of us. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. She nuzzled her head into my neck and stayed there. I absentmindedly stroked her arm as we lay there together quietly.
"Casey..." I started.
"Mmhmm." Casey murmurmed in response not moving.
The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them, "I love you."
Casey shifted moving so she could look at me. She rested her chin on my shoulder so she could look up at me. There was a hint of a smile on her face. It was the first time I had said that to her. I had felt it for a long time and I know she had seen it. She never pushed me to say it out loud, and it made me love her all the more.
"I love you too, you know that right?" Casey replied.
"Yeah." I nodded, as best I could from my position.
"Good." Casey said and returned to her previous position, her face snuggled in the crook of my neck. She let out a soft sigh and relaxed against me.
I kissed her lightly on the forehead and I heard her laugh softly. I relaxed back into her pillow, and lay there holding her. I missed laying with her like this, afterward you know, but I would never admit it. Committed to one and in love--or not--I still had a reputation to uphold. Derek Venturi will never be seen as a sap. But yes, I miss it.
We haven't had a whole day alone together in such a long time. Sure we had gotten great at sneaking around so we could be together, but our time didn't last long. We couldn't really hang around afterward. I hated having to rush off after. It made me feel terrible about it. I don't want to imagine how it makes Casey feel. We're going on six months now. A big milestone, for me at least. I hope for her too. Heck, that's longer than she was with Sam. When we started this I had a feeling it would last, but I never thought...well, this long. However, these past months have been the best I've ever experienced, except for the having to sneak around part.
It's been at least two months since our last full day together. We actually had the whole weekend. My dad and Nora had taken the kids to visit some relative of Casey's for the weekend--they do that a lot. The whys, wheres and whos kind of blew over my head. I don't listen to those kind of things. All I heard was they were gone for the weekend and they'd be back late Sunday night. Let's just say I did something very characteristic of me and turned Dad and Nora off of ever leaving me alone again. Yes, that's what Casey said. And yes it was a party I threw--Casey did agree to it too, by the way. We just weren't expecting them to come back so early. If Edwin hadn't gotten sick, we might have gotten away with it. But no such luck. Even Casey got in trouble for "encouraging" me and my "bad behavior." While I completely agree that Casey encourages bad behavior on my part, it wasn't so in this case. I blew up in my dad's face defending her and he extended my two weeks grounded to a month. No dating, he says. I say no problem. I'm in a committed relationship with a girl who lives in the same house as me--ground me for eternity, I don't care--they just don't know it.
Today was the first time they left us alone since then. I was appreciative of the time they had give us, even if they didn't know what they were doing. They were still worried that Casey and I would kill each other if left alone together for too long. See we kept p the act, fighting and such. Although now it's more playful banter than all out brawl. It keeps things exciting, though I think things are exciting enough as it is. Especially when we go a week without being able to find a place to sneak off to.
I really do love her. In the beginning I had thought her a challenge. I love challenges. But it turned into so much more. When I think about it, I'm not surprised it did. She's amazing. She's a beautiful, smart, clever and passionate person. She can apply herself in a way I never could. Casey is unlike any other girl I've been with, dating I mean. The other way, well she's the only one I've been with--only she knows that though. I just wanted her to know this wasn't only a physical thing, although the physical part is amazing. Because her knowing I cared about her wasn't enough, I wanted her to hear it. It felt really good to hear her say it back, too.
I pull the blankets a little higher over us and hug Casey a little tighter to me. She shifts some to find a more comfortable position and lets her leg slip to tangle with mine. Her arm dropped to drape across my chest, her fingers moving lightly on my shoulder making little circles. In the few times we've been able to sleep like this together, she did that every time just before sleep took her. I lean my head to rest against hers and close my eyes. I love this, I wish we could just stay like this forever.
But when do wishes ever come true?