Pretty Little Lights... It's that time of year, and Kisame insists on spending Christmas with his dear Itachi. Nonsensical insanity. Implied Itachi+Kisame.

---------- Pretty Little Lights ----------

It was strange. Not a little strange, but very strange indeed.

Itachi knew that Kisame had a tendency to be an idiot, but the shark faced man had just gone too far this time. Ever since the twentieth of December had rolled around, Kisame had been dancing around and humming what he called Christmas carols while decorating the Akatsuki's super top secret cave with oddly colored lights that blinked and flashed and threatened to give Itachi epilepsy.

Not only Itachi himself was intrigued by this strange behavior of Kisame -- Zetsu, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, and even Akatsuki Leader-sama had spared a glance of bemusement at the blue dude. Especially when Kisame had locked himself in his room for two days straight; Itachi hadn't been worried or anything, but at the time he couldn't help but wonder what was going on in there... Until Kisame had emerged carrying eight little red and white objects that he obviously had sewn himself(judging from the red scratches and pin holes on his fingers and hands).

Needless to say, Kisame had pitched Itachi one and told him to wear it on his head before rushing off to give one to each of the other Akatsuki members. Itachi had scrutinized the fuzzy hat for a minute before very slowly raising his eyes as he sat it on his head. The white furry ball on the end of the long point dangled beside his head and bounced slightly when he poked it with his finger. It was then that he decided, without a doubt.

Something had to be done.

It had been going on long enough, and if Kisame were to keep up this odd behavior, the Akatsuki would be torn appart from the inside out. So, Itachi had spent the next days trying to figure out what was happening to the other Akatsuki affiliate. Maybe if he could figure out what was causing it, he could figure out a way to fix it -- preferably without killing him.

And there they were -- December 24th.

Itachi yawned as he sat up from his bed in his very own super top secret room, rubbing his Sharingan eyes and getting up from bed. He had been sleeping peacefully when a loud rapping on his door had shook him awake with a start bringing him many annoying thoughts of choking the life out of whoever had dared to disturb him.

Throwing on that little red hat since Kisame insisted so much(though he wasn't certain when he'd started caring about Kisame's feelings, and it was beginning to freak him out a bit), Itachi adjusted his mouth into that customary Itachi style frown and walked over to open the door. He had honestly expected to see Kisame standing there with a big toothy grin, but was greeted with the sight of a highly disgruntled Akatsuki Leader-sama. Itachi blinked.

Akatsuki Leader-sama, somehow remaining a black silhouette even with the light pouring down on him from Itachi's room with only his eyes being visible, then said in that oh so mysterious voice of his, "Itachi, if Kisame acts this way any longer, you and he will be conjointly dropped from the Akatsuki."

Itachi sighed and glanced down the brightly colored rocky hall of the super top secret cave, his eyes momentarily pausing on the flashing lights alligned down the halls close to the ceiling. He then realized something he had missed before and quickly jerked his eyes back to Akatsuki Leader-sama. Akatsuki Leader-sama flicked an invisible eyebrow as Itachi realized that his superior was wearing a bright red and white suit, complete with a fluffy hat like his own.

It took every drop of willpower that Itachi had to resist laughing then, but he somehow restrained himself and coughed into one hand instead. Sucking it up, he narrowed his eyes and bowed his head just slightly before saying, "I will put an end to it soon, Akatsuki Leader-sama."

Appearing to accept Itachi's answer, Akatsuki Leader-sama(still a black silhouette aside from his clothes and eyes) narrowed his eyes and turned to disappear down the hall. "You'd better," were the mysterious man's last words to Itachi as he headed quietly through a door to shamefully sob in secret...

Staring after Akatsuki Leader-sama in shock and disbelief, Itachi eventually shrugged it off, closed his door, and headed down the hall to locate Kisame...


Kisame certainly was happy as he finished decorating the Christmas tree in the main meeting room -- he had gotten the tall pine all by himself(which is probably why the cut mark was rough)! While hanging ornaments of all different shapes and colors, he realized that it was a bit late to put up the tree but did it anyway. It would probably have to be taken down the day after today, but he didn't care -- he was doing it for the satisfaction of it.

And as he pulled the brightly colored golden star out of the box of Christmas decorations he had kindly borrowed from the fine people of Suna, Itachi came walking in the room with a negative frown on his face and a look that resembled concern shining in his blood red eyes. Setting the star atop the tree, Kisame turned and offered a smile to Itachi.

"What do you think, Itachi-san?" he asked. Itachi just continued to observe Kisame's behavior as he walked over and looked up at the tree in silence. Had he been anyone else, he probably would've admitted that the tree was pretty -- but since he was Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Itachi hated bright colors and pretty things, he didn't.

Without completely thinking his words through, he narrowed his eyes and aimed them at Kisame before finally inquiring, "What has gotten into you, Kisame?"

Kisame seemed surprised by the rather rude way Itachi had spoke to him and scratched his head as he raised his eyes to the tree. "Well, I just wanted to celebrate Christmas this year," he answered, keeping his smile up. "I want it to be special -- Christmas is tomorrow, you know!" he announced.

Itachi closed his eyes for a minute. Christmas... The 25th of December... No, it wasn't ringing any immediate bells. Frowning, he turned to leave the room. "Kisame, will you return to your senses after tomorrow?" he asked, pausing by the doorway. Kisame seemed puzzled by this, but shrugged.

"Since tomorrow is Christmas, I guess so, Itachi-san," he answered and watched as Itachi walked out of the room without another word. Kisame seemed to push it into the recesses of his mind as he turned to head back to his room -- he still had presents to wrap!


Outside the Akatsuki's super top secret cave, two mysterious figures stared up at the not-so-well-hidden entrance in silence. The one on the right wore his long black hair in a low ponytail and the one on the left wore his even longer black hair in a braid. They exchanged a quick glance before looking down at the map the one with the ponytail was holding.

"This is it." the one with the braid(Karite Shugou) said, aiming another quick glance up at the structure. His amethyst eyes twitched a little when he thought about the fact that people actually lived here. He frowned just slightly as his partner folded up the map and put it away.

"Shadows hide within the sanctity of shadows, waiting for the appropriate moment to strike from their refuge and take what they wait for with patience." Gouma Toramaru said very mystically, receiving a nod of agreement from Shugou.

"Yes," he said simply. Toramaru spared a glance at the other ninja, awaiting him to explain. Was it possible that he had understood him? People were never able to understand what he was trying to say.

Shugou closed his amethyst eyes with a little thought and folded his arms, almost magically knowing what the other ninja was thinking. "Yes, I can understand what you say."

"?" Toramaru blinked once.

"We need to finish this mission so we can get back to the others." Shugou added somewhat quietly. He usually wasn't much of a talker -- he preferred to stay silent. However, he would speak in the stead of Toramaru this time. For the sake of his mission.

His mission. Come to think of it, what was their mission? Ah yes, he remembered now. Flipping out a piece of paper that had been given to Toramaru and himself to explain the mission details, he scanned his eyes over the text.

The suspect resides in a super top secret cave out in the middle of nowhere. His accomplices call him Akatsuki Leader-sama, and he's the leader of the Akatsuki organization. He looks like a black blur with a pair of eyes and a ring on his right thumb. Move with caution.

He narrowed his eyes momentarily. Hmm, Akatsuki Leader-sama. That certainly was a strange name. He frowned. What kind of James Bond rejects were they dealing with exactly? Dread washed over the teenage ninja like a wave. Whatever, it didn't matter. All they had to do was assassinate the bloody bastard and go home.

Toramaru seemed to share Shugou's feelings as he kicked a rock quietly. Some of these missions were just plain irritating. Why couldn't they ever get hired to assassinate sane people?


It was here. The dreaded day. The 25th of December.

Once again, a loud rapping on his door brought Itachi from his peaceful dreams of pink candy coated clouds and into the world of consciousness. He rolled his eyes as he stood from his bed, combing his hair and tossing on his fluffy hat.

To the door he drifted, throwing it open, and this time he was greeted with the sight of the one and only Hoshigaki Kisame. A slight frown formed on Itachi's lips as he waited for an explanation -- one good enough to make him reconsider roasting his blue companion alive.

And so, not much to Itachi's surprise, Kisame began to speak, "Merry Christmas, Itachi-san!" he declared merrily. Itachi tossed a quick glance over at his calendar and dropped his eyes to the bolded digits that were very definitely shaped like a 2 and a 5. Yes, it was the 25th of December -- he vaguely remembered Kisame telling him of a holiday called Christmas occurring today... just yesterday, in fact.

"Is that all?" Itachi asked, ready to disappear back into his room for another hour or two. Daring to grab the traitorous Uchiha's wrist, Kisame turned to drag him off down the hall toward the main meeting room.

"Of course not! You have to unwrap presents!"

Itachi was puzzled, more thoroughly than before. No one had ever said anything about presents. He could only hope that they were not more pretty things. Bending his mouth into a frown as Kisame led him into the desired room, his Sharingan eyes wandered around the interior, nearly widening at what they beheld.

Even more decorations had been strewn about, colors of gold and silver and red and green -- well, Itachi liked red at least. Ah, red. The color of blood. His favorite color -- how he enjoyed to see the sticky red substance as it poured from his victims, the color of death. The color of so many things really, blood red. His favorite...

Itachi was pulled from his sadistic reverie by Kisame who pointed quickly at the gifts piled under the Christmas tree. The dark haired man turned to look at the brightly wrapped boxes, almost repulsed by how pretty they looked. Oh how Itachi hated pretty things(well, aside from his own face).

The other bored looking Akatsuki guys were seated around the room also(even Akatsuki Leader-sama), eyes staring up at Itachi. They were all waiting to get this over with so they could go on about their daily lives. Unfortunately for Itachi, it seemed that he was the one who would get things started.

Narrowing his eyes and sitting down as instructed by Kisame, Itachi looked down at the first box that Shark Buddy handed him. His eyes drifted from the bright shimmery red and green paper wrapped so neatly around the square object to the very delicately tied white bow encircling in. He looked up at Kisame to explain.

"Open it!" he said, pointedly at the gift in Itachi's hands. And so, hoping to end this soon, Itachi pulled the ribbon that had been bound into a bow free and dropped it aside before lifting the lid off the box to reveal a...

... Why, a new mirror!

Itachi kept his amusement well hidden and lifted the reflective object out of its packaging before testing it. Running his fingers through his bangs, he quietly admired his own beauty(the only beauty he would acknowledge positively) before laying it back inside and sitting it beside him.

Kisame didn't ask for approval and merely grabbed a stack of boxes, handing one to each of the other Akatsuki members and asking for them to open the gifts. They did as instructed, taking turns admiring their gifts.

Zetsu was pleased to receive a new flower pot and some seeds that he would undoubtedly try out later -- how he loved plants. They were so much like him!

With a quick "Hmmm," Deidara unwrapped his present, smiling at the small brush and paints inside. How he adored art! He enjoyed spending his spare time making his own masterpieces. What delight!

Sasori hastily unwrapped his present to find a small oil can. He smirked at the bit of irony; his old one had rusted by now and he did need to keep his joints nice and oiled...

Hidan slipped the top off of his own package to find none other than a book on the Buddhist precepts! A large smile formed on his face as he began to flip through the pages pleasantly.

After watching his partner open his gift, Kakuzu flipped the top off of his own to find a tape of his favorite Freddy Kreuger movies! He couldn't wait to find a VCR as he fingered the video in anticipation.

Akatsuki Leader-sama watched everyone else admiring their presents, his mysterious eyes falling to the one in his own lap. Invisibly to the naked eye, he frowned only slightly as he cautiously plucked the ribbon loose with his darkened in silhouette fingers and pushed the lid off of the box to find... a copy of Samurai Warriors 2! He wasn't certain how Kisame could have gotten that since the game had been delayed umpteen times, but he was glad. Now he could indulge himself in the sequel to his favorite video game -- the one with the ninja that talked about shadows all the time. Ah, shadows. He liked shadows. Maybe that's why he spent so much time as a walking black blob. Who knew? Not any member of the Akatsuki, but they didn't care anyway. They were all admiring their own presents still. With an inaudible cackle, the Akatsuki Leader-sama excused himself from the room to go to his own dark chamber of evil and try out his new gift!

Kisame watched quietly as everyone but himself and Itachi left the room quietly. However, when Itachi started to stand as well, Kisame caught his wrist and kneeled down in front of him. Itachi blinked in slight confusion, and secretly considered roasting Kisame for touching him. Kisame reached back into a pocket he didn't know he had and fumbled around in there before pulling out a little black box and raising it in front of himself.

Outside, two unknown people walked by, pausing briefly to glance inside. Shugou looked back at Toramaru questioningly and Toramaru only shook his head negatively before raising his hands and pushing the younger shinobi forward. Shugou shrugged and resumed walking as Toramaru peered into the room again.

"We are looking for a man who goes by the name Akatsuki Leader-sama. Where is he?" Toramaru inquired, amazingly not philosophical. Kisame's pale blue cheeks flushed slightly red as he pointed in the appropriate direction.

"Down the hall. The last room on the left," he informed. Toramaru bowed slightly in respect and started to leave when Kisame added a little louder than before, "Hey!"

Toramaru blinked once and looked back inside. Could they have been found out?

Kisame laughed nervously. "Could you turn the light out, please?" he asked politely. Toramaru shrugged and slipped one hand in to flip the little switch so that the light went out before continuing down the hall after Shugou.

The shark faced man then turned back to Itachi, the room only lit by the pretty flashing Christmas lights now. Itachi oddly felt his temperature rise slightly as Kisame popped the little box he'd fished out of his pocket open to reveal a little black ring with a pretty blood red stone set in the middle of the tiny band.

"Uchiha Itachi-san, will you marry me?"

Itachi blinked once as Kisame stared up at him almost... lovingly. He felt a bit repulsed by that, but once again lowered his eyes to that ring. Ah, blood red. His favorite color. The only other thing he considered pretty that he liked(aside from his own face). For some reason, his heart swelled slightly in surprise as Kisame continued to stare up at him, nervously awaiting his answer.

It was then that Itachi chose to say something.

"Kisame... you're ugly," he informed quietly. Kisame didn't seem to take great offense to that, and continued to stare up at his partner through hopeful eyes.

"I know," he admitted. Itachi smirked slightly as he took the ring from the little box and slipped it onto his right ring finger with his Akatsuki ring.

Comical tears welled up in Kisame's eyes as he threw his arms around his new fiance, a huge smile on his blue face. Itachi frowned slightly but lowered his eyes to the little ring in admiration.

Yes, it was true that he hated pretty things(aside from the color red and his own face). In fact, usually when he seen pretty things, they repulsed him like ugly things usually repulsed other people. Yes, when he seen pretty things, it usually made his head hurt and brought a frown to his face...

But Kisame wasn't pretty.


Shugou frowned as he stopped before the door to the Akatsuki Leader-sama's room. Toramaru looked at him and nodded, signifying that it was time. With a low sigh, Shugou slid the door open and what he and Toramaru saw caused them to look at each other and blink in dumbfounded confusion.

"Yeah, take that Kotaro-teme!" Akatsuki Leader-sama called as he mashed buttons on the small black Playstation 2 analog controller, watching as the ninja guy on screen obviously controlled by him kicked the crap out of the wannabe ninja guy with red dreadlocks, a smile of dark amusement becoming visible on his black silhouette under his eyes.

Toramaru watched in interest as the ninja guy Akatsuki Leader-sama had been playing said some long rant pertaining to shadows. It reminded him of... himself. He smirked secretly; so this Akatsuki Leader-sama guy had good tastes. Shugou noticed the smug look on Toramaru's face and breathed a sigh.

Mentally scarred, Shugou turned to wander right back out of the super top secret Akatsuki base the same way he and Toramaru had came. He was going home -- he just didn't feel right assassinating a man while he was playing a video game. Besides, a certain lilac haired girl back in his own dimension wouldn't be very pleased if he were to do something like that.

Shrugging and following Shugou, Toramaru thought about the day's events in silence. So they hadn't accomplished their mission. Maybe they would return one day... on a day that wasn't a holiday. Everyone just seemed so happy today, it would be wrong to ruin it. His reddish grey eyes paused on the pretty little lights alligned on the walls throughout the whole stretch of hallway.

Someone had really went all out this Christmas.

---------- Owari: The End ----------

Note: This is my first Itachi+Kisame Fan Fiction. Um, well. I don't even like male+male couples. Anyway, the idea just struck me while my brother and I were talking about Itachi and Kisame. And I find the idea of Kisame having some wild crush on Itachi quite hilarious indeed. To go along with this one, I guess I'll write an Anko+Temari story in the near future. You know, since the thought crossed me.

More Notes: Karite Shugou is an original character created and copyrighted by me(For those of you who may be interested, Shugou is the main character of an Original Fiction I started some time back called The Two Sides of Chaos. A link to it can be found on my Profile Page.). Also, Gouma Toramaru was created and copyrighted by my brother, Armor King(Toramaru is also the main character of an Original Fiction, which can be found by going to his profile page.).

Disclaimer & Copyright Information: I do not own Naruto (© Kishimoto Masashi); however, I am the author of this story. If you have comments or suggestions, leave a review or send me an e-mail. Doumo arigatou, for reading my writing!