Icha Icha Corruption
A/N: Another day, another chapter, another temple mind clean-up. This story…is based on my strange days in the forums.
Disclaimer: OMG! I never owned Naruto? That is sick…
January 2, 7:00 AM
Hinata looked over the requirements, over and over again, thinking that this would be completely necessary to her current life style. She looked over the objective, and knew she would succeed. She signed up as a pair knowing they could do it, 'Naruto and Hinata.'
January 2, 8:00 AM
"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SIGN US UP FOR KARAOKE!" Naruto's scream was heard through Konoha and people were thinking it was annoying wake-up call. "Ano…Kakashi and Kurenai signed up too. Why couldn't we? Sasuke and Sakura also signed up." At the mention of Sasuke's name, Naruto perked up. "I WILL DEFEAT YOU SASUKE-TEME!" Naruto screamed out.
"SHUT UP, DOBE!" Hinata sighed to herself, thinking,' is this what I call a normal life?' While staring at Naruto who screamed at Sasuke who was screaming back. Sakura was on a leash, and TenTen was tied down.
Sasuke walked away, dragging TenTen on the ground
January 2, 9:00 AM
Ino approached Sasuke, wanting to ask him out. Finally, Ino's eyes met Sasuke's with a benevolent gaze. "I-I've always loved you," Ino said to him, "Would…would you please go out with me?"
"ZOMG! I love you too , LET'S MAKE BABIES RIGHT NOW!"
"Sasuke," Ino started, "Is there anything wrong with you?"
Sasuke started talking in a valley girl accent, "The author made me, like, totally OOC, so like, and I'm all like, chillin'. That is like, totally sick and all, like, awesome."
"Sasuke, what are you talking about? Are you sure you're okay?" Ino started to worry.
"Yo, what's up my homie girl? You still got the shit from last time?" Ino started to back away slowly. "Let's get you to the Happy Hotel; they have tons of great games to play."
"OOOOHH, REALLY? REALLY? I love games." Ino had enough of the out-of-character-ness and decided to sneak away while he was looking at the sky thinking about space and how to be an astronaut.
"I'm not letting you get away that easily," he said with an evil glare. Ino was scared; she heard what he did to TenTen and Sakura, who were now his slaves. "No wait…NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Ino's mother watched with pride. "My daughter is so mature, getting raped her first time…I'm so proud," she sniffed as she watched Ino struggle. "No, no, don't put your hand there, place it lower."
Sasuke looked at her and said "Thanks," as the strangeness continued.
January 2, 10:00 AM
TenTen woke up next to Ino, who were both tied to the wall. "Why are you here?" TenTen asked, "Don't you like Sasuke so that he doesn't have to rape you?"
"Yeah, but he was acting weird. He kept blabbering nonsense about OOC and authors." Ino was embarrassed while remembering what he said while he was in valley girl mode. "You don't think…Sasuke is gay do you?"
"No, he raped us, not Naruto or Shikamaru." Sasuke came back and tied Shikamaru on the wall next to them. "I stand corrected," she said.
"How troublesome…first Temari ties me to a wall ('and had her way with me,' he muttered) now Sasuke wants the same thing. Do you think he's gay or something?" asked Shikamaru.
January 2, 11:00 AM
Sasuke went for a walk outside of Konoha. When he took a step outside Orochimaru appeared and started to attack Sasuke. "HEY GUARDS!" Sasuke screamed out, "AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO SAVE ME FROM EVIL!" The guard looked in his direction, "Sorry we're on our lunch break."
Orochimaru looked at Sasuke, "I WANT YOUR BODY."
Sasuke looked at Orochimaru strangely, "What did you say?" Sasuke looked freaked out. "I WANT TO GO INSIDE YOUR BODY."
"Dude," Sasuke said, "That's just wrong." Sasuke was even more freaked out.
"I WANT MY SOUL TO BE IN YOU!"
"That's fine." Sasuke started to walk away. "I WON'T LET THIS CHANCE RUN AWAY AGAIN." Sasuke looked at him as if he were the plague. Orochimaru charged at Sasuke while throwing random shurikens at him. Sasuke screamed out, "PIMP NO JUTSU!" and pimped out Orochimaru's face. Orochimaru looked around in fear as he looked at his face in the mirror he always carried around.
"No…my face, my beautiful face! GUYS WILL NEVER LIKE ME ANYMORE." Tayuya came by and looked at Orochimaru's face admiring the smoothness and color. "What did Sasuke do to you, because you just turned hot."
"You…you really think so Tayuya?"
"Of course, every girl in the village will come looking for your beautiful face." Orochimaru was crushed. No boy would ever like him again.
"Don't worry Orochimaru, I still love you," Sasuke said.
"You really mean it?" Orochimaru asked. "Will you give me your body?"
"HELL NO! I don't swing that way."
Shikamaru came back bare naked and screamed out, "THEN WHY DID YOU STRIP ME AND TIE ME TO A WALL!" Everyone looked at him, "Putting clothes on is too troublesome," he said.
"Did…Did Ino and TenTen escape too?" Sasuke looked scared. And weird.
"Untying people who are screaming at you for help is also troublesome. I left them tied there," Shikamaru said.
Orochimaru started crying and ran away. "That Orochimaru really likes children, doesn't he?" Sasuke asked. "It sure looks like it," Tayuya said.
"Troublesome, yeah, we know," Sasuke and Tayuya said together.
Sasuke looked at Tayuya, "Hey, wanna come over to over to my place?"
"Sure," she said. Shikamaru looked over what happened and started to think,' and it'll happen again. '
January 2, 2:00 PM
Naruto and Hinata were practicing and singing the only song they knew…"I'm Too Sexy." They even decided to add motions to make it look cooler. Hinata had been practicing for this moment all her life. Stripping in front of Naruto…had been her dream.
Hanabi stopped by Naruto's house and said, "Hinata, put your clothes back on. You can have sex tomorrow if that's what you want, but she has homework today." Hinata complained that she wanted to stay for the night, but Naruto said she should go because he only had one bed (or futon, your choice). Hinata wanted to stay even more.
January 2, 4:00 PM
Hinata was asleep in her room wearing the skimpiest nightgown that she had when Naruto came into the room. Naruto saw Hinata and a Chibi-Kakashi with horns and a long barbed tail popped up on his shoulder.
"You know you want it, go get it. She won't mind, she forced herself on you before," the Chibi-Kakashi said.
'Wait a second, he thought to Chibi-Kakashi,' Isn't there supposed to be a good conscience too?'
Chibi-Hinata appeared on his shoulder and said, "Please, have your way with me."
'Aren't you supposed to be my good conscience?' He thought to Chibi-Hinata.
"I AM your good conscience. The horns are only there to hold up the halo," Chibi-Hinata said.
'Wait…where's my good conscience?'
Chibi-Sasuke popped up on his head while tying a Chibi-Iruka to a chair and gagging him with duct-tape.
'Well, Iruka isn't giving me any advice so…'
Naruto walked up to Hinata, who looked confused about the 30 seconds of silence and the massive nosebleed on Naruto. Naruto pushed her down onto the bed and Chibi-Iruka broke free of the gag.
"NARUTO STOP! THIS IS GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE!"
Naruto stopped as he was about to take off her nightgown.
Hinata looked on her shoulder, and saw a Chibi-Jiraiya writing a book and saying, "Do it, you know you want to." On the other shoulder, Chibi-Naruto was there, half-naked and licking her neck seductively.
'Who cares? I'll just let him put it in for a minute or two.'
"DYNAMIC EENNTTRRRYYYYY!" two voices screamed as the door to her bedroom broke.
"YOU'RE GOING TO KARAOKE NIGHT! HOW YOUTHFUL!"
"WE ENTERED TOO! ISN'T THAT ALSO YOUTHFUL!"
"THAT IS YOUTHFUL! OH GAI-SENSEI!"
The background changed into the sunset on the beach, as they ran at each other in slow motion, with the waves crashing on the rocks.
"CHANGING THE BACKGROUND IS SO YOUTHFUL ISN'T IT!"
"IT IS LEE!"
"LET'S HAVE ANOTHER HU---"
Naruto kicked Lee out of the room and Hinata kicked Gai out, crushing his manhood.
"NOOO! KURENAI WILL NEVER WANT ME AGAIN!"
"I AM SORRY
GAI-SENSEI! LET'S RUN 2,000 LAPS AROUND KONOHA! IF WE CANNOT DO IT,
WE SHALL DO 10,000 PUSH UPS!"
"AND IF WE FAIL THAT, LET'S PUNCH THE TRAINING DUMMY 20,000 TIMES!"
"What was that?" Hinata asked while doing the blinky-blink.
"I don't know."
January 2, 8:00 PM: Karaoke Night
Kakashi and Kurenai came up first, with an advertising song. "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!"
Rock Lee started singing a song he made up with Gai…in the most horrible voice people can imagine.
THE POWER OF YOOOOO –Lee's voice starts to break- UUUTHHHHHH; IT PULLS US THROUGH THE DAYYYYY-Lee's voice cracking-YYYYY
Someone from the audience screamed out, "BOO, YOU SUCK," and the manager kicked them out before everyone went deaf.
Sasuke and Sakura came up to the stage. They took a deep breath and started their greatest song. "I lub you, you lub me, we're a happy family." It was the Barney Song.
Hinata and Naruto came up last, singing "I'm Too Sexy" while Hinata stripped everything. Naruto and Hinata won first prize…A TRIP TO…THE HOSPITAL. Sasuke beat Hinata up and shot Naruto.
Beta Reader's Corner (Chidori vs Rasengan's Corner)
CvsR: LOL XD. Another random yet funny chapter, but the last part was weird, yet funny. I hope that I spell-checked everything right.