Author: bubblegum x princess
Rating: PG, for one bad word
Summary: Roxas finds out about one of Axel and Demyxs' favorite pastimes...And is slighty weirded out.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts owns ME.
Author's Note: Totally random little oneshot. I just love the little trifecta of Axel, Demyx and Roxas being immature little troublemakers. Who doesn't really? Warning, a bit crackish, especially at the very end. I apologize.
"Are you sure we should be doing this?"
The voice was barely a whisper, the underlying tones of panic echoing softly through the still, silent castle.
"Don't worry about it, Roxas. Demyx and I have done this loads of times and we've never gotten caught."
The confident reassurance came from his right, and the blonde didn't need light-of which there was none-to know who was speaking to him. Axel's lazy drawl couldn't be duplicated by anyone.
"Although there was that incident with the bizarre talking clock," Demyx piped up cheerfully through the darkness. "From the way he carried on you'd think that I actually said something to offend hi-" There was a swish of movement, a dull thud and a loud "Oof!", and the musician was abruptly silenced. Roxas could practically see Axel's wolfish grin through the blackness.
"Ahh, here we are," the tall redhead announced with satisfaction as the trio emerged into the dimly lit grand staircase.
Immediately, Demyx forgot about the pain in his head and charged up the opulent stairwell with cries of "Ooo, me first!", his black Organization coat rippling behind him.
Roxas watched, dumbfounded, as Axel tore off too, right at Demyx's heels; watched as the sitar player finally reached the top and positioned himself on the bannister; watched as he slid the long, long way down laughing and hollering all the way; watched as he reached the end and went sprawling to the floor in a heap at Roxa's feet.
"That was fun!" The older blonde smiled up at him, still panting excitedly from the ride. "Your turn!"
Roxa's blue eyes widened. "Whaaa-?"
Demyx was about to repeat himself when he was distracted by a sudden very tall, very gangly pile of black leather and bright red hair landing right on top of him.
"Axel, get off me!"
"Hey, you were supposed to get out of the way," the fire-weilder pointed out, smirking as he rolled off his fellow Organization member. He flipped over onto his back next to Demyx and looked at up their newest recruit, turquoise eyes dancing wickedly. "Okay, Roxas, your turn!"
By this time, Roxas was regretting ever stepping into that Dark Portal that his two friends had summoned, claiming they were going to "go do something fun for a while". By this time, Roxas was pretty sure they were certifiably insane, and he voiced as much.
"No way. You two are crazy. I'm leaving."
Axel and Demyx looked up at him with identical expressions on their faces, part playfulness, part stubbornness.
"Uh uh, no way," Demyx shook his head.
"Not until you do it at least once," Axel told him.
"You do it just once, and we promise we'll go right after, got it memorized?" Axel chided.
Roxas could see that there was no way he was going to get out of this one. He could always pull his keyblades on them, but that would result in a battle in the middle of a strange castle that he happened to know was populated by some rather...interesting, and perhaps ferocious subjects. Better to just get it over and done with and be gone as soon as possible before anything bad happened. Besides, it did look kind of fun...
"Fine," he said grudgingly, pulling his cloak tighter around him and beginning to haul himself up the staircase. He paused a few feet up to glare over his shoulder. "But you'd better catch me."
"Sure, no problem, Rox," the other two assured him, all wide-eyed innocence and sweet smiles.
Yeah right, Roxas thought to himself as he continued his long trek. Why did he always get roped into these things? Why, just last week Axel and Demyx had somehow conned him into playing hide and seek-of all the childish things, really-and then made themselves "it", meaning Roxas had to hide while they tried to find him. The two older Order members had then proceeded to "forget" they were in the middle of a game and left him to lie concealed in the bathtub all night long. When he finally got the message that they weren't in fact looking for him, Roxas had hunted them down, only to be confronted with smirks and uncontrollable laughter when he located the two of them calmly playing a game of poker at the kitchen table with Luxord.
Thanks to them, Roxas could never play a game of hide and seek again without wanting to kill someone. Bastards.
Through his musings, the young blonde had finally reached the top of the stairs. He was so far up he couldn't even see the bottom of the stairwell, it just faded into blackness.
He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted as loud as he dared. "I swear you two, if you don't catch me...!"
There was no answer.
Roxas frowned deeply, the Hide and Seek Incident immediately coming to mind. They had probably run off the moment he was out of their sight, sniggering quietly to themselves as they left him alone in this place. They were probably already back at Castle Oblivion, having a good laugh at his predicament. Those...those jerks!
He was about to open a portal when a distant noise that sounded oddly like a squeal floated up the long staircase. It sounded like...Demyx.
Roxa's eyes flashed. So they were still down there, just ignoring him, trying to freak him out. Well, he'd show them! Just because he was the youngest member of the Organization didn't mean he could be pushed around!
Visions of Keyblades and Axel and Demyx's mutilated corpses dancing in his head, he smirked and swung a leg over the bannister. He would have normally just run down the stairs, but this way was faster, and he wanted to get to those idiots as soon as he possibly could.
Lying flat on his stomach on the thin piece of polished wood, he loosened his hands slightly, and soon he was flying backwards down the bannister, whooshing through the air. Hey, this actually was fun. Maybe he'd thank Axel and Demyx for telling him about this place...and then kill them.
Nearing the end, he braced himself for the ineviatable impact he was about to feel from the tiled floor. If Axel and Demyx had run off giggling to themselves, he supposed a hard collision was a small price to pay for the victory he would feel at taking his weapons to their stupid heads.
Imagine his surpise when he felt himself fly off the end of the bannister...
...and into a waiting pair of arms.
A very strong, very furry pair of arms.
...Wait a minute. Furry?
The smirk slid off the boy's face as he stared into the face of the person who had saved him from becoming best friends with the marble.
Actually, he wasn't sure 'person' was the best term.
Unless the typical 'person' nowadays had large white fangs, angry blue eyes and a face covered in coarse brown fur.
"Having fun?" the Castle Master growled.
Roxas shouted at the top of his lungs.
The Beast let go of him as Roxas summoned a dark portal. The boy was gone before he even hit the ground.
Xemnas walked into the kitchen, frowning, to find Numbers VIII, IX and XIII slumped at the table, looking rather out-of breath and much paler than usual.
"I've just had a visitor," he announced, still frowning deeply, but with something that looked like wry amusement dancing in his eyes, "and I've got a very important mission for you three to undertake tomorrow. This matter is of upmost importance to the Organization and should be treated with according seriousness. The future of our entire existence is in your hands."
With this impressive speech, the Superior gave a solemn nod and walked away, only allowing himself an undignified snigger when he was back in his room, far away from the kitchen.
The next day, Axel, Demyx and Roxas could be found at the enchanted castle, re-polishing the grand staircase bannisters entirely by hand, supervised by none other than the Beast himself, who had only to growl a little to inspire the three to clean faster.
Meanwhile, Cogsworth was perched on Demyx's shoulder, a smug look on his little ticking face. "You missed a spot," he pointed out gleefully, indicating a portion of the bannister that some talking candlestick had just purposely scorched. "You'll just have to start over again."
Axel resisted the urge to smash his head into said bannister repeatedly.
Roxas scrubbed a little more violently than was necessary.
And all silently cursed Xemnas, who had appeared via portal just long enough to give the Beast a high-five then pop back out, laughing maniacally.