Title: Big Brother
Disclaimer: -closes eyes and wishes really hard- Nope still not mine. Guess I'll have to get in contact with the Blue Fairy.
Summary: The Winchester boys never really get a lot of time to watch TV. What happens when they stumble across Big Brother for the first time?Just a short OneShot that takes the piss out of that Big Brother show.
A/N: Okay so I've had this one tucked away for some time now and I'm finally putting it up. I got the idea channel surfing when I found that show. I don't watch it, never have, and never will. No offence meant to anyone who enjoys the show. THANKS so much to my awesome beta for this story KateCyrus! If it wasn't for her this little baby would have never made it out of the shed.
"Can you believe this shit? I honestly can't believe anyone could actually watch this crap!" Dean turned the TV on to mute and shook his head at Sam. "I mean seriously, I'd prefer to watch my brains being eaten through a straw by some demon while I was still alive!"
"You should try pitching that, it actually might sell." Sam nodded at his brother from behind his laptop.
Dean had been watching the new season of 'Big Brother' for all of five minuets before he had started ranting about the uselessness of locking a group of strangers in a random house with some git telling them what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.
"I mean like sure, it would maybe be interesting if they were demons, or ghosts, or super hot possessed chicks, but these people are just annoying!" Dean thinks for second, "Ha! Sammy, how funny would it be if their house was being haunted, or it had a demon let lose in it! Now that would make for some good entertainment." Dean laughed at his own brilliance.
"Let me guess." Sam smiled. "Then we would go in and save their asses, and you would get your pick of the girls."
"Hey, I can't help it if what I do for a living turns the ladies on. Oh man, look at this dude with the long blonde hair!" Dean turns back to the set. "He isn't even trying to hide that he is totally into that red headed chick, and wow, she's just putting up such a fight. I mean, use some tact!" Dean mused sarcastically, "I could never be on this show. It'd drive me insane and I'd have to kill them all. I mean, that blonde chick, as hot as she is, has cried like five times since I started watching this crap!"
"If it's such crap, then why are you still watching it?" Sam quizzed his brother with a smirk on his face, "And I wouldn't worry about being on it, they'd never pick you anyway."
Dean spun around to face his brother. "Excuse me? As if they wouldn't pick me! I mean, I have the looks and Winchester charm, and then there is my resume."
"Resume?" Sam snorted at his brother. Dean send in a tape, trying to get onto this show? Now that would be entertaining.
Dean stared at his Brother. "What? You really don't think I'd get accepted?"
"Oh come on Dean. I don't really see them picking someone who sends in a tape saying something like…
"Hi my name is Dean Winchester. I'm 26. I don't actually live anywhere because I hunt the supernatural with my little Brother Sammy, so our work takes us around. My Mom was murdered by a demon when I was four, and my Father trained me on how to hunt and kill the supernatural. So I'm skilled with most weapons and hand to hand combat, and I can hustle pool and poker like a pro." Sam paused for breath, "I drive a black 1967 Chevrolet Impala, live on fast food and 80's metal, and I can't get enough of Metallica. So anyway, I think I'd make a kick ass housemate, and if you chose me, your ratings would go through the roof based on my looks alone. Oh and by the way, just incase you run a police check on me… I'm dead."
Dean just sat there with his mouth hung open looking at Sam. Sam just stared back and laughed at the look on Dean's face. Priceless, wish I had a camera.
"So you think you would get picked ahead of me geek boy?"
"Well yeah. First of all, I actually have a resume. I went to collage and graduated with honors. And second, I'm not dead." There was a slight pause of silence, then Sam snickered quietly to himself.
"Laugh it up geek boy, but I have a better shot getting on that show dead, than you do alive."
"Whatever," Sam said trying to blow him off.
"Whatever…" Dean mimicked in a whiney mocking tone. "Okay then," he began, returning to his previous annoyed tone. "You think they'd accept a loser who sent in a tape that went something like…
"Hey," Dean began, returning to his whiny voice. "My name is Sam, not Sammy. I'm 23, and I'm a whiny little bitch. My pastimes include, hunting the supernatural, listening to bad music, worshiping my older brother, and blaming myself for the death of my mother and girlfriend… good times!" Dean gave a big thumbs up, tacked on a grin, then continued. "I'm an accomplished Stanford graduate, which comes in totally useless since I'm jobless. I suck at hustling, but I think you should know, I'm really good at pissing off my father, and being a pain in my brother's ass. My special talents include horrific psychic premonitions, pathetic looking puppy dog eyes, and an inability to get my haircut. I'm also especially good at getting myself into trouble that only my better looking older brother can get me out of. So pick me, Sammy… I mean, Sam, for your show." Dean closed his monologue with a pathetic imitation of Sam's puppy dog eyes, and one of his own classic grins.
Sam sighed, realizing he'd totally set himself up for this. "You're a jerk," he said glaring at Dean.
"Really?" Dean grinned. "You think I should add that to my bio?"
Sam shook his head and went back to researching for their next gig, as Dean turned back to the TV.
The blonde guy who had been hitting on the red head chick, was now in some room crying…. and crying… and crying.
"Huh…" Dean reconsidered their entire argument. "Maybe you would get picked over me Sammy. After all, you are an overly emotional cry baby."
"Ya know Dean…" Sam began all exasperated, Dean quickly cutting him off.
"Sammy, if you finish that sentence in the girly whiny way I know you're about to, you're only proving my point."
Sam shut his mouth and grumpily went back to his work. Dean smiled, sighed, and returned to his show. "Yeah… I rock!"
Well that's it. Press the little button and let me know what you think.