I do not own Inuyasha or the song "Welcome to My Life", they are owned by Rumiko Takahashi and Simple Plan respectively. Please read the following warning and information before proceeding to the story – thanks
This story deals with child sexual abuse and is meant for mature readers only. Some of the chapters will be explicit which may be disturbing to some readers DO NOT READ IF YOU FEEL YOU WOULD BE BOTHERED BY THIS.
According to the National Agency on Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), children are naturally sexual creatures. Boys frequently have erections at birth and, like girls, can be sexually aroused by the touch of an adult or another child stroking any portion of their skin. Adults can take advantage of that early sexuality and lead a child into areas where it is not prepared or equipped to deal with.
In later years, as an adult, CSA victims may be invaded by nightmares or flashbacks which can be triggered by anything that could remind them of the incidents. They may freeze into benumbed calm in situations of extreme stress. A feeling of dissociation is often present and the victim may have loss of memory of the incidents.
There is often no physical evidence but victims may experience fear, guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, difficulty with close relationships, mistrust, ambivalence and hatred. These feelings can stay with the victim for their entire lives.
Some signs of CSA include but are not limited to: unusual interest and/or avoidance of sex (some victims experience one or both depending on situations), sleep problems, nightmares, drug and/or alcohol dependency, self mutilation, depression, withdrawal, secretiveness, seductiveness or aggressiveness.
Sesshoumaru stood by the tree shaking. He was trying hard to bring himself back under control so he could move on to the spring and wash the blood from his clothing and body. What bothered him was not the fact that he had killed those men, but in killing them how he had lost complete control of himself.
The demon lord had been heading back to where he had left Rin and Jaken. He had been tracking Naraku yet again and yet again the slippery spider had disappeared. Passing an abandoned hut, he had heard the cries of a child, and curious, had gone to investigate. What he saw had made even his blood run cold. Three men had a small girl pinned to an old futon. The child was naked, and one of the men had pinned the girl's shoulders to the futon while another was holding her legs wide open. The third was climbing in between them. The girl was the same age as his Rin and something had snapped inside Sesshoumaru.
The youkai lord entered the hut and grabbed the man trying to rape the child and threw him against the wall. The two others, being confronted with an enraged demon, had jumped up to run but Sesshoumaru stood between them and the door.
"Run," he instructed the shocked, wide eyed human child. "And do not look back." The small girl grabbed the ratty kimono that she had been wearing before the men had stripped it from her. She did as her saviour ordered.
This was the last coherent thought that Sesshoumaru had as he literally ripped the men apart. When he had finished, blood dripped from his entire body. Pieces of human flesh littered the hut and he was panting and snarling like an animal, his eyes completely red.
That's when he had left, concerned that he had lost it so completely and that he had been so utterly savage. He could not for the life of him understand why he had had such a violent reaction. Finally, he moved towards the spring to undress and clean himself and his clothing. Feelings of unease took ahold of him and would not be pushed back.
What is wrong with me? I know the strength of which I'm capable, the leashed rage within and I have been smart enough to treat it gingerly, with respect. Why did it get so out of control? Sesshoumaru had no answers for himself and a restless, edgy feeling crept over him. He was shocked that he couldn't seem to coat himself in his calm, numb cocoon that he stayed in most of the time. With a growl he left the springs, putting his still wet clothing back on and trying to push the events of the afternoon from his mind.
The child put his hand against the warm chest in front of him. He was sitting on someone's lap. He thought he knew who it was, but was unable to see the face clearly. The small boy did not feel fear, only curiosity. The man leaned back in the chair. The boy could feel him smile down encouragingly even if he couldn't see the face. The child's hand was so small and the further back the man leaned, the further the little hand travelled down the body in front of him. Soon the small boys hand was at the waistband of the hakamas and still the tot felt no fear. He could hear the man whispering, "go ahead, touch it," and he slipped his chubby, two year old fingers into the pants. The boy was surprised, there was warm skin down there and what felt like the soft bristles of an old hairbrush.
Sesshoumaru jerked awake, his heartbeat and breathing rapid. A bead of sweat travelled down the side of his face. He stood and paced back and forth, that earlier feeling of unease now multiplied. He stopped and leaned against a tree, his stomach feeling suddenly nauseous. He slowly contained his roiling gut and the rioting emotions within him that the dream had evoked and walked over to check on Rin. She was still sound asleep, as was his green retainer. He sat beside her until morning, feeling far too jittery to sleep.
"What the hell?" Inuyasha exclaimed as he looked at the gruesome scene inside the hut. They had been tracking a demon that had a shard of the shikon jewel when the hanyou had smelt the unmistakeable odour of blood…and his brother. "You better not look in here," he told Kagome as his own gut gave a lurch.
Miroku gasped and put his hand over his mouth. "Kami," he exclaimed. "Who would do something like this?"
Inuyasha didn't reply but just closed the door. Could Sesshoumaru have done this? He asked himself. He knew his brother had no problems in killing humans, but this just seemed too savage, not his brother's style at all. It looked like a wild animal had torn them apart. He could not deny that the only other scent here was Sesshoumaru's though.
"Should we bury them?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha had closed the door before Kagome, Shippou or Sango had a chance to see but the miko teen figured that there had to be dead bodies in there from the reaction of her two male friends.
Miroku and Inuyasha looked at each other. Neither one of them relished picking up what was left inside that bloodied hut but knew it probably was the honourable thing to do.
"Why don't you and Sango take Shippou somewhere else while Miroku and I take care of this," he said to the dark haired girl.
"Is it that bad?" Sango questioned Miroku.
"Yeah, it's not something you really want to see."
"Do you think a demon did it?" Kagome asked, thankful that the boys would do grave duty. She wasn't especially interested in seeing dead bodies although she had seen her share. She figured that what ever was in that hut must be pretty gruesome because Inuyasha had never stopped her from looking at the deceased before. She wasn't inclined to argue with him about it either.
"I don't know," Inuyasha answered. "I smell Sesshoumaru's scent here as well but I don't think he'd dirty his hands to do this." He must have passed by here too and probably did the same thing we're doing, just investigating. Of course that bastard wouldn't take the time to bury dead humans.
"Sesshoumaru?" Sango questioned.
"Well I'm not going to worry about my stupid brother. Come on, Miroku, let's get this over with."
The girls took a complaining fox kit away who was arguing that he was old enough to see, while Miroku and Inuyasha gathered the various body parts and put them in one grave. They couldn't figure out what went where anyways. Miroku said a prayer over the grave as Kagome and Sango laid flowers on the mound of earth before the whole group again continued on their way.