A/N: Alright, this is not my best work but for some reason Vala/Daniel is all I seem to be able to write at the moment and it's coming out strangely fast. Hopefully I'll get into a Sam/Jack mood to write the sequel to "Everytime.."
I took a few liberties with this. 1) Vala was a host for a couple hundred years. I don't think they mention how long she was a host, just that she hasn't been one for 5 years. 2) I decided that a Gou'ald can allow thier host to age a little. I have Vala becoming a host at 18 although she could have been more like 25 or such
When Vala was 10, she asked her mother how one would know if they were in love if only to make sure she sought treatment for it immediately. She hadn't believed in the romantic love that you heard about in stories and frankly when people said they were they acted oddly. She wanted to be prepared.
Her mother, bed ridden by that point, had smiled weakly and ran her hand through her daughter's hair.
"You'll know," she had said "When you have an odd feeling in your stomach whenever he is near that has nothing to do with being sick. You'll know when you are willing to give up everything if he simply asks you to. You'll know when just to be near him is enough to get you through the day no matter how hard it seems." She had sighed. "Believe me, you'll know."
She hadn't understood.
When she was 11 her mother had died. She hadn't understood when her father had pushed her away to grieve alone and she hadn't understood when he married Adria when she was 12. All she knew was that it seemed her father hadn't really loved her mother.
When she was 13, she had her first crush. She knew it wasn't love because she hadn't been willing to give him anything. But there was something about the quiet boy in the back of the room who watched the others silently that appealed to her.
When she was 14 her attentions had changed to another boy. Again she was reluctant to share anything with the boy and her father was irritated by that fact. Apparently Delin was a good match and his father had hopped to make an alliance with her father by marrying the two of them at an early age. Whatever feelings she had for Delin were removed by the thought of reproducing with him, which was exactly what their father's wanted.
When she was 15-she met Garenth. He was the town's book keeper and she would often come and listen to him tell her tales of the planet's history and the lore of the Gods. She would tease him about being boring and he would tease her about being impatient. Still betrothed to Delin she snuck out at nights to met with Garenth to share kisses under the stars.
Delin died when she was 16, only a month before she was supposed to marry him. She had been sad and Adria was angry. That was the time she learned the difference between love and convenience. Adria didn't love her father but had married him because he was conveniently wealthy and the alliance would have made him richer. Adria had blamed her for the death, despite the fact that the boy had died from a work accident that had killed two other townsmen. It didn't matter.
When she was 17 she ran way with Garenth, planning on giving up everything to be with him in a small village across the waterway where he had taken a job in book keeping. However it appeared that the much older Garenth soon tried of his youthful fiancée and sent her back home. Adria had cried it a scandal and her father had decided Adria was right.
When she was 18 the Gods came. Adria convinced her father that in order to be able to get her daughters suitable husbands, the scandal of her step-daughter must be eradicated. The best way was to give her up as a host to the Gods.
She was a host for 346 years. So long she began to forget about her planet. Forgot the address, forgot what her sisters looked like. Forgot even Garenth. However she never forgot her father's face as he watched Qutesh take over her body.
And she understood.
When the Tok'ra came and removed Qetesh, she had absorbed some of the gould's more interesting personality traits. However, despite being free she still faced odds and she began to build a new life...one as a thief, a lying con artist and a seductive women. She never felt any love for any of the men she tricked into believing they had some claim on her. She wasn't one to have one-night stands but she still felt no emotion half the time she was with them.
She had felt nothing for Daniel Jackson the first time she met him. Sure he was gorgeous, and if she didn't have a job to do she would listen to him speak all the time. However that was about all.
She had felt nothing for him the second time she met, although she did start to get attached to him, irritating as he was. Being with him all Day long did not help any and frankly she would have been annoyed if it did. It did however give her enough understanding of the man to understand he was her type. She did get a slight flutter in her stomach when he would fight with her.
It was when she was stranded in the middle of the Ori Galaxy, pregnant and chained to a stone bench in the middle of town that she begin to have any emotional connection to him. He was her savior in her dreams. Tomin didn't seem to have the strength to defy anyone but she knew Daniel did. He defied Gods before, and she couldn't help but wish it were him who was there instead of her husband. She certainly hoped that if there was a human father at all that it was Daniel because Her child could certainly use that strength.
She wondered when she got back to Earth if she had put him up on pedestal and fallen in love with a dream.
She continued to tease him. Call him 'Darling' and give him casual touches that were supposed to mean more in the hopes of getting a reaction from him. Help him with his research and see him off on his first mission. He didn't fight her so much anymore and accepted the touches more. He even accepted her help.
The only reason she stayed and tried to be a good girl was because he believed in her. She almost cried when the realization crashed on her that the one reason she did stay didn't really want her anyway.
But then his little gang came and told her reluctantly that she could stay, that they needed her. So she did. However even behind her humor at Woosley's expense and later her using Daniel as her moneylender she still didn't feel like she was accepted.
Not even when they took her to Atlantis did she feel as if she belonged to anything. It wasn't till the end when she saw Daniel smile because of something she said that she finally understood what her mother was talking about.
She'd give almost anything to see him smile because of her again, and she smiled back at him knowing full well that she would give up her treasures for him if he asked because the one thing she wanted most was for him to smile at her like that again.