Final Chapter! I can hardly believe it. I've spent over a year on this and it's over! Sigh. Well, there are my other stories to work on! Also. SO sorry about the uber late update. School is hell. College apps are due sometime in the near future and I'm frantically trying to write the essays for them. (which don't flow as easily as stories, sadly). Anyhow. I hope you enjoy this!
Nineteen Years Later (okay, not really) –
Twelve Hours Later
"Wait, so you're telling me that he's dead?"
"Yes. Dead. Gone. Finished!" Harry punched the air triumphantly. Draco rolled his eyes.
They were in the Headmaster's office, recalling how they had defeated The Dark Lord Formerly Known As Frea-Voldemort.
"And Blaise gave a 'special performance' to distract the Death Eaters while Seamus kidnapped Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked. Harry nodded. "What did he do?"
"Acted out a scene from Shakespeare, a monologue," Draco said.
"From Hamlet," Harry supplied.
"I see. The Death Eaters enjoy Shakespeare? I was under the impression they were just sex fiends." An awkward silence followed this statement.
"Okay, so it was a strip tease, but it worked!" Draco said, looking guilty. Dumbledore laughed.
"Ah, the truth," he said. Harry braced himself for a piece of wisdom. "It's just so much better than lies." Harry was slightly disappointed. Dumbledore's words of wisdom were usually… more intelligent than that.
"And then Neville killed him. Yay! The end." Harry and Draco stood quickly and turned to go.
"Boys…" They turned slowly back to face him.
"Okay, fine. So Seamus brought him over to where Harry was tied up, and sort of gave Harry to Freak as a present."
"Only before he could kill me, Neville killed him! Yay! The end." They turned to leave again.
"And so, what kept you there for the rest of the evening?"
"Partying with the Death Eaters. Free fire-whisky all round!" Harry explained, grinning shiftily.
"I see. One last question before you leave." They turned guiltily around again from where they had been trying to sneak out. Again. "Why wasn't I invited to this after party?" Dumbledore asked with that cheeky sparkle in his eye.
"Won't happen again."
"No, sir. Won't happen again. Harry's right."
"Very well. You may go."
"Phew! That was awkward." Harry said as they burst out of Dumbledore's office.
"Just a bit." Draco agreed, smirking slightly.
"Sarcasm. You never get my sarcasm, Potter."
"God, I love it when you call me Potter. It sounds so… dirty."
"Oh really?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah really." Harry nodded.
"Did it always sound dirty?"
"Why?" They'd reached the bottom of the stairs by now. Harry turned to face Draco.
"Well, I've liked you secretly for years," Draco said, staring at his feet. He wasn't used to talking about feelings. It was making him awkward. And yet he had been the one to bring it up inadvertently.
"Which is why you were always mean to me?" Harry smirked.
"Yeah, it's called denial. I was trying to convince myself I hated you. Only it failed. And here we are." Draco was staring at the wall over Harry's left shoulder.
"I feel like we should have had this conversation a while ago," Harry said.
"Well we're having it now, Potter!" Draco was cursing himself for bringing the subject up. His confession had left him feeling vulnerable. And Malfoys just don't do vulnerable.
"Stop calling me Potter or I'll have to slam you against a wall and kiss you!" Harry on the other hand was happy. Draco had liked him for a while! It made him want to break out in song and dance, only not really.
Draco liked this turn in the conversation. It meant Harry wasn't freaking out. "Go on then... Potter." Draco said, smirking as Harry pinned him against the wall.
"I liked you too. Just so you know. In denial and all that." And then he slammed his lips onto Draco's.
When they reached the Gryffindor Common room a few –ahem- twenty minutes later, they were surprised to find it full of people in all house colours. A great cheer went up when they entered the room.
Neville, Dean, Seamus and Blaise were already being carried on shoulders. Harry and Draco soon joined them and then the mass of people carried them down the stairs.
"What's going on?" Harry shouted to Neville.
"Dumbledore announced that the rest of the day (and night) was for partying." Neville yelled back, grinning.
"Yeah, 'cause we have haven't just been doing that all of last night!" Seamus chimed in. Harry laughed and allowed himself to be swept on to the mixed common room.
The party was already in full swing by the time they got there. Fred and George had snuck back into Hogwarts and were plying people with firewhisky.
Dobby had recruited several more elves to help him at the bar and they were all running up and down the bar, trying to meet the demands of the many students.
Most people were tipsy within the hour of The Heroes' arrival. Some were downright smashed. Everyone one, however, was happy. There was no more fear; no more worry. The great oppressor was gone. And so it was Happy Hour in both senses of the meaning. Only it went on for much longer than an hour.
Years later the students would still talk about that party. It was the best party anyone had ever been to. The spontaneity, the joy, the free alcohol. They all added up to a damn good time. Even the teachers joined in the merriment.
Flitwick was first to join the party, pretending to be a particularly small sixth year. Then Sinistra wandered down, just to check on the students. Snape, surprisingly, was the next after accidentally taking a wrong turn on his way to – well, he hadn't thought that far. McGonagall and Sprout wandered down, pretending to look for Flitwick and before the students could take stock of the situation, all the teachers had joined the party.
Halfway through the night, Harry found himself on the dance floor, drinking a Skywalker and dancing with Draco.
"Hey there, lover boy," he said, swinging his spare arm onto Draco's shoulder.
"Hi," Draco replied, smirking and dancing in towards Harry. "What's on your mind?"
"Awww, you adorable Hufflepuff you!" Draco pinched Harry's cheek. Harry frowned.
"No." Draco winked.
"Fine. I was thinking about the end of school, and what's gonna happen then…" Harry trailed off, looking dejected.
"And me?" Draco asked.
"Yes, and you."
"As in, what's going to happen to us?"
"Hmmm… I need to get you more drunk. No more thinking tonight. Well, unless it's about me. And only me. None of this, leaving school palaver." Draco took Harry's hand off of his shoulder and used it to spin the brunette around and push him off the dance floor in the direction of the bar.
The next morning was chaotic. No one was in their right dorm room, or bed. Most were asleep in the party room. Flitwick was curled up at the feet of a suit of armor. Sinistra was in the kitchen, presumably she had fallen asleep there so that she could get food first thing in the morning to combat the hangover, but to be honest, she couldn't remember most of the night before. McGonagall was asleep on a sofa next to the Weasley twins who had been trying to get her to buy some of their merchandise when they all fell asleep. Snape was in Las Vegas. He'd been chaperoning Harry and Draco who had decided to get married that night.
"Why are we here?" the black haired professor growled, staring at his two charges.
"We got married!" Draco said, his eyes suddenly gleaming with happiness. He held up his left hand and sure enough, a wedding band glinted there.
"Oh Christ." Snape put a hand up to his head. He had a killer hangover and dealing with these two early in the morning wasn't one of his favorite things to do at the best of times. "Why?"
"We're in love," Harry supplied.
"Since when?" Snape's mood was deteriorating with each word the two young men said.
"Uh, last summer?" Harry asked, looking at Draco.
"Yeah, last summer. Sort of."
"It's a long story. See, Draco-" Harry began.
"-Spare me," Snape interrupted, holding up the hand that wasn't massaging his temples. "And no-one knows?"
"A few people know," Harry said.
"Well, everyone will know now," Snape said, standing up suddenly.
"Not if we don't tell them they won't!" Harry protested. "And we'll obliviate you, so you won't tell any-"
"-QUIET!" bellowed Snape. Harry jumped backwards into Draco and they fell to the floor. Harry had to stuff his fist into his mouth to stop himself from giggling. Luckily, Snape wasn't watching them. "Wizarding unions, or marriages," he said, as if he were explaining to a toddler. "Are automatically registered in the Banns Book at the Ministry. These unions are checked every day and the most interesting of which get reported in the Daily Prophet. So, I'm pretty sure, that the whole of England knows by now."
"Oh, crap," Harry said. Snape gave him a look. The look he reserved only for his most sarcastic of WTF are you ON, Potter? lines.
"What do you mean, crap? Just CRAP? Not shit, or goddamn it, or OH NOES MY LIFE HAS ENDED!?" Snape looked incredulous, but Harry just smiled.
"Well, they were going to find out sooner or later. Right, Draco?" But Draco had fainted. Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
They were never sure quite how they managed to do it, but by dinner time that day, they were back at Hogwarts. It had been a combination of Apparating, Portkeys and shock horror (for Draco at any rate) Muggle Public Transport.
They were mobbed by crying girls (and boys) as they entered the Great Hall. Dumbledore smiled at them from the Teacher's Table. Ron, Hermione, Blaise, Pansy, Ginny, Colin, Seamus and Neville all ran to greet them.
"Congratulations!" Hermione, Pansy and Ginny squealed in unison.
"Yeah, mate, nice one," Ron said, clapping Harry on the shoulder. Blaise put his arms around both of them and they all headed towards what had been the Gryffindor table. It could have been any house table now though, given the number of other house members sitting at it.
Harry was the happiest he could ever remember being. He was surrounded by friends, Voldemort was gone, and his hangover had miraculously disappeared! Oh, and he was married to the man he loved. That counted for a lot of it.
Dumbledore stood up and waved for silence and the hall fell quiet.
"I would just like to extend my congratulations to Mr and Mr Malfoy-Potter! Or is it Potter-Malfoy?" He smiled, his eyes twinkling. Harry and Draco looked at each other and shrugged. They hadn't discussed that yet.
"Potter-Malfoy," Draco said suddenly. Harry cocked his head to the side. "What? It sounds better and I'm vain with things like that." He smirked and Harry smiled.
"Potter-Malfoy it is then!" he said.
Several years later…
"Hey, Harry! Remember that time when we-"
"Yes, Seamus. I do." Seamus was drunk. So were Harry, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Snape, Blaise, Pansy, Colin, Ginny, Luna, Dean, that fit Hufflepuff and a whole host of others. It was party time at the Potter-Malfoy house, so of course they were. The liquor never stopped flowing. It didn't have to.
Harry had written his autobiography, "Scarred", as soon as he left school which had been an instant bestseller. Draco had invented a new hair potion called Sexyfine. (This patented formula combines Sexy molecules with Fine molecules to form the ultimate SEXYFINE molecule. The SEXYFINE is absorbed into the scalp where it makes its way into the blood stream and rearranges your DNA, to take you from ugly, to beautiful (oh, hello there goodlooking)). So they were set for life.
Seamus had gone into the Muggle Entertainment Industry, as predicted at school, and now hadhis own show: Finnegan's Island. Neville was David Attenborough's intern. He was still mastering speaking in front of a camera while precariously standing on some precarious object and holding a plant/small animal at the same time. Blaise and Hermione were happily married with their first child on the way. He was an Unspeakable and she worked in the Muggle Affairs Office. No one could figure out how it happened, but Ron ended up with Luna. The seemingly unusual couple hit it off after school, Ron having parted ways with Pansy after school ended. Colin was a member of the Muggle Paparazzi, able to get the juiciest pictures due to his diligently perfected disillusionment charm. Pansy married money in the form of Derrick Bole, the Slytherin ex-beater. They lived happily in their country estate, Paris townhouse, Florida Beach House, California Mansion, South of France Summer House and London penthouse. Dean was the new Monet, bringing Impressionist Back and Snape lived in a shed at the bottom of Harry and Draco's garden. (It was more of a cottage than a shed to be fair).They still didn't know why, but he did do a bit of gardening from time to time.
"Oh, hey! I know what we can do!" Ron slurred.
"Whassat?" asked Draco.
"Spin the bottle!"
"What are you, a first year Hufflepuff?" That Fit Hufflepuff frowned slightly. Had they just insulted her? She couldn't tell. It was all very fuzzy.
"Truth or Dare!" Harry called.
"Never have I ever…"
"That's a good game," Seamus agreed.
"Is not a game. Is serious bisnuss." A lopsided sage nod. "Oomf".
"That's my shoulder," Harry said.
"Is nice shoulder," Draco mumbled into said shoulder.
"I think you need to go to bed." Draco nodded.
"Bed with you."
The phone rang, breaking the suddenly sleepy silence. They all let it ring, too lazy/inebriated/asleep/passed out to answer. The answering machine picked up the call after several rings.
"Jolly bananas!! You have reached the Sexy Potter-Malfoy's residence. Thank you for calling! We feel horny when we get phone calls unless, of course, you are female. Joke. We are currently not home, in the Malfoy Manor, or we just don't want to talk to you because we're too busy... Well, you know. So, please, leave a message, your name, your number, and your "wand" size and we will get back to you as soon as possible! If you are calling for Harry, please say Pirate at the beginning of your message. If you are calling for Draco, please say Dragon at the start of your message. If you are calling for both of us just leave the message. Have a sexalicious day!"
Harry gave a sideways glance at Draco.
"Have you been changing the answering machine messages again?" he asked.
"No?" Draco gave him what he thought was a winning smile.
"You know what this means."
"Role play time?" Draco asked, looking hopeful. Harry spluttered.
"Me telling you off isn't roleplay!"
"It so is. Always ends in sex."
"Oh. Good point."
"So…" Draco said, poking Harry in the stomach. "Roleplay time? Yes or yes?"
"Alright then. Goodnight you all." A mumbled assortment of G'nights reached them. "Come on you," Harry said and pulled Draco in the direction of the bedroom.
Oh, wow. I'm so sad this is over. Sigh. Oh well. There will be others. In fact, there already are, but they make take a while to update as there are 3 all at once and aaah. Yes. Well, thank you to all my loyal readers. You all are amazing. Seriously. It wouldn't have happened without you. Lazy me would have had no inspiration to work and it would have ended at chapter 3. (which would have been lame)
ALSO, sexyfine hair products were not my invention. they come from the geniuses who made Avatar: The Abridged Series. Their Haru just reminded me of Draco, so I had to use it.
Yes. So. See you all in some other story I guess. I hope you liked this one! Do me a favour and tell me what you think, eh?