Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.
(A.N For SephirothBeatrix, I hope you like it.)
(A.N 2, I can't remember when Azumanga Daioh was originally set, but for the purpose of this fic they're in highschool in 2006 (after all, it wouldn't work otherwise.)
(A.N 3, I am British, so I use the word football in the same way as the Americans use the word soccer.)
Tomo's Amazing Football Disasters
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
"Oi, ref!" Tomo's voice echoed through the otherwise somewhat quiet place that was Chiyo's bedroom.
"What are you on?" Yomi asked, looking up at the hyperactive girl, who was bouncing up and down repeatedly.
"She's on something called sugar," Kagura replied. "Only sugar could make her this much of an… ouch!" she covered her ear with her hand as Tomo blew a whistle right next to her. "What the hell did you do that for? You, Takino Tomo, are a moron."
"And damn proud," Tomo smirked. "As for my whistle…."
"Have ya got it so that ya can scare off the zombpiahs?" Osaka asked.
"Of course," Yomi rolled her eyes.
"But wasn't Tomo a 'zombpire'?" Kagura asked, confused.
"Noooo, I was a vambie, remember?" Tomo grinned, showing her not-too-pointy canines. "Anyways…"
"What's in that bag?" Yomi asked, suspicion in her voice; she was almost dreading what Tomo might have with her.
"I'll show you when we're out in the garden," Tomo replied.
"What?" Kagura frowned, "Why the garden?"
"Becaaaaaaaause," Tomo stuck her tongue out. "Now come on team, out into the garden!" She blew the whistle as loud as she could.
"Blow that again and I'll stick it somewhere you can't blow it," Yomi snapped, but she in the others still, albeit reluctently, followed Tomo outside.
As soon as the had settled down under the shade of some trees, Tomo set the bag down in front of her and opened it. Inside were…
"Football jersies?" Kagura raised an eyebrow. "Pretty impressive, but what they heck have you got them here for?"
"Well you saw the world-cup final last night, right?"
"No, you know I never watch sports," Kagura rolled her eyes, "What do you think, idiot?"
"Well anyways I've brought these because of that," Tomo grinned, taking the jersies out of the bag. "Kagura, you're Italy…"
"Alright, I'm the winner!"
"Haha," Tomo rolled her eyes, "But there's another reason I gave you that."
"You'll find out later, when Tomo the great decides to tell you," Tomo said smugly.
"Hey! Anyway Kagura's Italy…"
"We know that."
"Shut it you. What was I saying? Yeah, Kagura's Italy, Chiyo you can be the USA coz the USA is Chiyo-land and all that jazz. Sakaki, Portugal, if you can fit this over your chest; same goes for you, Yomi, only you're Germany and you've got to try and fit it on over your fat," Yomi glared daggers at her.
"And what am ah?" Osaka asked.
"Well you're Japan, you know, coz Osaka's in Japan and stuff," Tomo handed Osaka her jersy last and sat down, noticing that, as predicted, Chiyo had been swamped by her jersey.
"Ah'm Thierry Henry," Osaka declared.
"Osaka, Henry plays for France, so if anything Tomo would be him," Chiyo pointed out.
"Ah'm Thierry Henry," Osaka repeted. "Ah can headah the ball!" she turned around, then…
SMACK! Osaka's head connected with the trunk of the tree nearest them.
"Oh my, Osaka, are you okay?" Chiyo rushed over to her friend.
"Ah want mah pancakes with extra chocolate sauce please," she mumbled then fell asleep on the grass: the others sweatdropped.
"Well that's not something you see in most football games," Kagura stated.
"Hey, everyone pay attention to me!" Tomo yelled.
"Did you hear somone say something?" Yomi asked Kagura, who shrugged.
"I dunno, did you?"
"I said listen to meeeeeeeeeeee!" Tomo blew on her whistle. "Kagura, get up!"
"Come on, up; I have a little demonstration," she smirked. Kagura got up, sighing.
"What are we gonna do?" she asked. "If it's anything stupid…"
"No, not at all," Tomo grinned. "I'm just gonna do a Zidane on you."
"Wha…" Kagura's eyes widened, then Tomo headbutted her in the chest.
"And that is what happened during the ga…" Tomo began then stopped as she saw the look on Kagura's face. "What? It can't have hurt that much; that chest of yours should have softened the blow a bi…" she was cut short as Kagura's fist connected with her gut. "Ouch," Tomo fell to the floor. "I'm sure that's not how it happened in the game…"
Unknown to them, at that very moment they were being watched: they were being watched by none other than Sakaki's 'lover', Kaorin, who soon fell out of the tree in astonishment when Sakaki looked in her direction.
"Hey guys, did you hear a thud?" Tomo asked.
"That, Tomo, is your overactive imagination," came Yomi's reply. "And Kagura, do us all a favour and take that whistle off Tomo."
"My pleasure," Kagura grinned, a wicked look on her tanned face.
"Yukari, don't you think you've had too much to drink?"
"Noooo, Nyamo, this is only my fifth pint," Yukari spoke in a voice that was much too loud even for the pub they were sitting in.
"Yukari, you've had far more than five pints," she pointed out as her companion downed yet another mugful of ale, "I really don't think it would be a good idea for you to…"
"Good idea good ishmea," the other woman, who was currently wearing an Ireland jersey, replied and put her arm around her friend's shoulders. "We won,
I think this is a cause for drinking till we collapse."
Nyamo almost pointed out that a) Ireland had not even qualified for the world cup and b) Yukari would drink obsene amounts anyway, but in the end thought better of it; it would have been better to talk to a brick wall than to even attempt to reason with Yukari when she was in such a state.
"Come on, home," Nyamo sighed, picking her friend up as she payed for the last ale.
"Just one more…"
"No, home now," Nyamo replied.
"You don't even care that Ireland won," Yukari replied. "And don't try and tell me that it was Italy coz I know the Irish flag when I see it," she hiccoughed.
"And coz of that we'll drink a drink, a drink to Lily the pink, the pink, the saviour of the…"
Nyamo clasped a hand over her companion's mouth, "This isn't the time for old Irish drinking songs."
"Who cares," Yukari drawled. "Anyways, who were you supporting? You're just sore coz it wasn't Ireland so they didn't win."
"I wasn't actually bothered," Nyamo replied. "I don't really like football."
With that Yukari collapsed onto the pavement, though whether it was the gym teacher's revelation that she didn't like football or the fact that she had drunk too much that had caused it, no one could tell.
The next day Yukari was sincerely regretting the fact that she had drunk so much; she had a hangover extrodinaire and her mother had forced her to go in to work! Tomo too wasn't too happy about being in school; her stomach still killed from where Kagura had thumped her, but she supposed that might possibley have been her own fault if she hadn't been so great and wonderful.
It was as normal for them in their studyhall lesson, until none other than Kaorin walked into the classroom with a package in her hands, then walked over to Sakaki, blushing like a maniac.
"Sakaki-san, well I saw that you liked Portugal's football team, so I got you this," Kaorin said, blushing all the while as she handed Sakaki the package. Sakaki however never opened it, as Tomo snatched it off her and opened it. Tomo blinked in confusion and Kagura burst out laughing.
"Well I have two things to ask you, Kaorin," Kagura sneered. "One: How in the name of cheese, as Tomo would say, did you know Sakaki liked Portugal's football team? And two: next time get your teams right; this is Spain."
Kaorin dropped to the floor, her hands covering her face; she had messed up in front of the cool Sakaki-san… again.