You've Always Deserved My Love

Summary: You think that I don't love you. You think the past will always haunt me, and you're right, it may. But I still love you, and I always will. Don't say a word, my love. Just know that you've always deserved my love.


The rain outside kept pouring down, casting a gloomy light into Chiba Mamoru's apartment. He sat on his leather couch in the center of his spacious living room, his head bowed down, staring at the soft carpet. His dark hair seemed to drip down into his face, covering his clouded blue eyes, usually deep blue and full of thoughts. Now they seemed dead, misted over, full of apprehension.

A woman, short, petite, and beautiful, stood staring out the balcony door that served as the window in the room. She had her arms crossed, her light blue eyes scanning the rainy exterior. Her bare feet sunk into the carpet, and she scratched an ankle with one foot. Her hair fell down to her feet, so blonde that it was nearly white. The white dress she wore usually brought light into a room, but for some reason, it just made it darker.

"You've got to understand that this just didn't happen all of the sudden. It formed over time; it happened over time; it… didn't happen on purpose." Her voice, clear and to the point, cut through the silence like a sharp knife.

Mamoru lifted his head slowly, his eyes penetrating through the gloominess. He said nothing, only looked at her slender back in remorse. He was pale, a ghost, just a shell of a man, the man he thought he was.

The girl turned and looked at him, her eyes cold and dismissive. "Mamoru, just face it. You know that I can't be with you anymore. I just can't. I don't love you."

Mamoru felt her gaze cutting into his soul, and he looked away, feeling that if she looked at his eyes for too long, she would kill him.

'I can't believe this is happening.

To me. To us.

After all that I've done and sacrificed. After all the night, the days, the battles, the wars, the tears, the love… the love… all gone…'

He found the words choked up in his throat, the words he had to say, the question that had to be answered. "How long?" He whispered, not daring to look up.

He heard her sigh and shift the foot that she had been standing on. "I've been with him for a month."

"Behind my back." He tried, but couldn't stop the words.

"In a matter of words, yes." She walked over to the couch, and grabbed up her purse where she had left it when she had come in.

He remembered when he had opened the door and smiled at her, and how she had looked at him. How he had known with that one look that she was leaving him.

She was speaking again, and it brought him out of his thoughts. "…sorry that it happened. But it has, and there's nothing that I can do to take it back. And I don't want to take it back. I love him."

Mamoru felt like a whip just kept lashing out at him, with each and every word that she spoke.

"I'll be leaving now."

His head snapped up, and he watched as she opened the door and walked out of his apartment.

And his life.

His eyes filled with tears. He couldn't stop them; they just kept coming. Soon his eyes overflowed, and silently, the tears fell down his empty face.

He had loved her for years, and it was all over within just a few minutes. It was all gone, all the love he had poured from his heart to hers.

"Usako." He croaked.

He sank into the couch, lying down and curling up into a ball, letting the tears fall. He knew it was childish, but he didn't care. He had lost everything he cared about, to someone else.

And it hurt worse than hell.


End Prologue