Timeframe: Sometime Season Three
Genre: Humor, Romance, Slash
Characters: Timothy McGee, Tony DiNozzo, Ziva David, Abby Sciuto, Gibbs
Summary: Stuck in the middle of no where on a friday night, whatever is Tony DiNozzo to do?
Notes: This fic contains slash.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Special Agent Timothy McGee sighed as he followed along after Senior Field Agent Anthony Dinozzo. He couldn't believe that he'd allowed Tony to talk him in to this. It was dumb and more than that, it was wrong. He couldn't believe that they were still doing it – especially since Gibbs was likely to catch them at any moment. He would have their heads – or at least have their heads ringing from where he smacked them. It wasn't that Tim had to follow the rules all of the time. It was just that he preferred it that way when it came to something like this.
He knew that it was just harmless fun, but he still planned to blame it all on Tony should they be caught. It, after all, was all Tony's fault.
"Hurry up, Probie," the senior Special Agent in question hissed over his shoulder, as they stumbled through the dark woods.
Tim ignored him. He refused to fall and break his leg just because Tony was in a hurry. Then Gibbs really would be mad.
The woods thinned and Tony gestured him back as he started to step out into the well-lit space. Tony shot him a look that said, "Really, Probie? Stepping into the light…I don't think so."
They moved through the shadows along the corner of the building until they reached the doors. Gingerly, carefully, and as quietly as he could manage, Tony turned the door handle, and opened the door slowly. He grinned triumphantly at McGee when he got it open without a sound.
"Coming, Probie," he asked with a grin. "It doesn't get any better than this," he whispered.
"You've been stuck out here too long, if this is what you consider fun, Tony," McGee retorted, but he had also kept his voice to a whisper.
Tony shrugged, "It's not my fault that Boss picked the most remote campground in the state of Virginia for us to stay at while we investigate this case. I just take my fun where I can get it."
McGee resisted the urge to roll his eyes. In truth the remote location and less than stellar accommodations had seemed to slowly be wearing on all of them with the exception of Gibbs. He hadn't seemed to mind the lack of electricity, the variety of creepy-crawlies that seemed to be in everything and everywhere, and the bathhouse facilities that boasted sickly yellowish water in all of it's meager sinks, showers and toilets.
Even Abby had been dragged out of her lab to collect evidence on site, bag it and do whatever preliminary tests that she could. She and Ziva had been getting a long surprisingly well considering everyone's fraying tempers.
Others, however, hadn't been so fortunate.
Tim had been almost certain that Ziva was going to take off the head of a particularly stupid park ranger when he had suggested something less than flattering about her nationality. Only Abby's quick intervention with a biting comment had saved the situation.
That incident and a few other similar ones had been what had prompted Gibbs to give them a few hours off that evening, with orders to sleep and relax, before they would begin again fresh the next morning.
How that had led him from a uncomfortable, but fairly suitable sleeping bag, to trekking through the woods to the aforementioned atrocity that was being called a bathhouse, McGee wasn't quite sure. He was, however, sure that he could fully blame DiNozzo for it.
Before he could finish the word, Tony's hand was clapped over his mouth, muffling his voice. "Quiet, Probie," he hissed.
McGee glared, but nodded his agreement. Tony didn't let go. Before McGee could decide on his next move, he heard a muffled sound and stopped struggling. Tony's head jerked up and he froze. He stepped back from McGee, but pressed a finger to his own lips in warning.
There was another clang, from the opposite side of the wall. It sounded as if someone had fell against the aluminum siding of the walls. The sounds were muffled, but one very feminine voice was clearly audible.
"Hey, baby," the voice said. "I missed you."
There was silence, and then a low moan could be heard through the walls. Then the same voice spoke again. "We've been soooo busy." The last word ended in a gasp.
leered and McGee shot him a glare. He still didn't know why he had
Tony rope him into this. It was harmless enough, but it still felt wrong to be eavesdropping on what was going on in the women's side of the bathhouse.
He would have to remember to use this as ammunition against Tony's teasing at a later time. He would just have to find a way not to implicate himself in the process.
Ziva would never let Tony hear the end of it when she found out that he had been skulking around campground bathhouses on a Saturday night for a cheap thrill.
Tim could hear more movement from the
other side of the thin walls, but he
was already turning away. He brushed past Tony.
"I'm leaving," he declared in a low voice. He didn't particularly want whoever was on the other side to hear him.
Tony hardly looked at him, "Careful with the-"
There was a very loud squeal as the door scraped
against the floor on its
Probie." Tony finished his sentence, rolling his eyes towards
McGee froze, looking helplessly at Tony. Tony responded by glaring back at him. They both waited for a tense moment in silence, hoping that the sound hadn't been noticed and knowing that there was no way that it couldn't have been heard.
"What was that," the feminine voice that they'd heard earlier asked.
"Damn," Tony swore under his breath, and jerked his head towards the door. "Let's go, Probie. Now!" He didn't particularly feel like being chased by some irate woman and her boyfriend tonight – unless of course he could get the hot chick's number, which would be doubtful at best.
He and McGee had just slipped out the bathhouse's door when the door to the women's side of the small building was flung open. McGee and Tony both froze at the sound. Unable to resist, Tony glanced over his shoulder and gaped.
Ziva stood in the doorway. Her eyes searched for an instant and then fastened on he and McGee. The anger in her gaze chilled him.
"Wait, now, Ziva," he began. She had never been as puritanical as Kate. There was a very slight chance that he could talk his way out of this and prevent her from kicking his ass.
The way that she started moving towards him told Tony that she was well and truly pissed off. "Let's go, Probie," he said sharply, backing away. If there was one thing Gibbs wouldn't tolerate, it was fighting amongst his agents.
Tony was suddenly serious. This had gone far too wrong; it was only supposed to be an idle prank to kill a few hours. His partner wasn't supposed to be involved. The best way to end this situation was to back away now and deal with the consequences in the morning when Ziva was less angry.
McGee wasn't moving; he was still trying to talk to Ziva. "…didn't mean anything by it, Ziva. It was just a prank," he explained. "We didn't realize.." He trailed off as Ziva started walking towards him.
"Move, Timothy," she said in a low voice that chilled him to the bone.
"I can't, Ziva," he shook his head. "What we did was wrong, but it was as much my fault as Tony's. I can't let-" Whatever he had been about to say was lost as he saw motion behind Ziva and glanced towards it.
"Probie," Tony said softly, "Do as the lady says." McGee didn't move. "Probie!" Tony put a sharp note into his voice. Only then did he notice that McGee wasn't paying attention to either he or Ziva.
He followed McGee's gaze and felt his jaw drop involuntarily. "Abby," he said, with a laugh of shock. "You and…" he wisely shut up when both her glare and Ziva's turned towards him again. He clamped his mouth shut and lamely offered, "I didn't realize."
Abby stalked towards him. "You didn't realize what, Tony?" She demanded.
"I…nothing." He stammered. He wasn't sure if Abby or Ziva were scarier. He backed away slightly as Abby marched towards him with angry determination.
"What exactly were you doing, Tony?" She demanded pointedly.
He folded his arms over his chest. DiNozzos' never ran away with tucked tails, even if it would be the wiser course of action. "I could ask you the same thing."
Ziva started forward.
"Hold it right there, Agent David."
Gibbs' voice was enough to freeze them all. He turned, slowly, pinning them all with a look. "Now. What is going on out here? I'm trying to get a little sleep and I hear you four squabbling half way across the camp. There'd better be a damn good reason, people."
None of them spoke. Tony tried to look anywhere else while Abby glared at him. Ziva was looking angrily off at some point off in the forest to Gibbs' right, but she was also keeping a careful eye on Abby. McGee couldn't bring himself to meet Gibbs' furious gaze.
After several moments of tense silence, Gibbs moved towards Tony. Tony resisted the urge to step back away from him.
"It was just a misunderstanding, Boss," he said as convincingly as he could. There wasn't much chance that Gibbs would let it go at that – none at all, in fact – but he had to try it at least.
Gibbs shot him a disgusted look and turned away from him. "Abby," he questioned the lab tech.
She glared at Tony for a moment longer. "Tony was just eavesdropping on things that he shouldn't again, Gibbs – and apparently he's corrupting McGee too." The glare that she shot Tim was more hurt than angry. McGee looked away.
"Anything to add, David?" Gibbs asked, over his shoulder.
Ziva still looked angry, but shook her head. "No."
"Good. Now since you four seem to be so uninterested in sleeping, why don't you get back to processing evidence."
Chastened and still upset, the four of them silently walked past him – Tony bringing up the rear. He hesitated in front of Gibbs.
Gibbs smacked the back of his head hard enough to leave his ears ringing. "That's for eavesdropping, DiNozzo. You should know better than to try that with Abby and Ziva." With a smirk, Gibbs headed back towards his tent.
Tony gaped. "I didn't-" he started
to correct Gibbs and then stopped. If he
couldn't figure out that two of his coworkers were having an affair, it didn't say much of his skills as an investigator. Still…