Title: N Is For Nothing At All

Author: Unspoken Tragedy

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Other than the general ones, none.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for my new laptop. Nope, can't have it.

Summery: What do you say to a parent about their dead son?

Series: None

A/N: This was inspired by episode 1x02, Uncertainty Principle. "What do you say to a parent about their dead son?" comes from a quote by Don.


N Is For Nothing At All

What do you say to a parent about their dead son?

"I'm sorry, Alan..."

I remember you as a baby. You were less fussy than Charlie. It was only when you learned to walk that we started to have problems. You always were the wanderer. I think I lost you seven times in the grocery store alone.

Your first word was "Dadda". I never did tell your mother of how I would chant the word as I put you to bed. She never did tell me that she did the same with "Momma". At that time all of our hopes and dreams were in you. You were our legacy.

When Charlie was born you were so excited. You would beg for hours to be allowed to hold him for just a few moments. After we showed you how, you never did hold him wrong. I knew then that we would never have to worry about Charlie's well being, you would protect him no matter what.

"You have to understand how important he was to us…."

Charlie's first word was "Donnie".

It was when Charlie turned three, when he began to show signs of prodigy, that our attention started to shift more in his direction. I never forgave myself for not being a good enough father to you.

It took a long time for you to forgive Charlie for it.

At age fourteen you began high school. Charlie was right there with you. Your mother and I, we had hoped that you would take care of each other there. But having Charlie once again stealing the show seemed to be too much for you. So as we abandoned you, you abandoned him.

Charlie never had to forgive you for it; he always blamed himself.

When you left for college I thought that we may never see you again. But every summer, you came home. Charlie was never so happy as when you were around. You were his idol then, still are sometimes.

I could feel the tension, though, when Charlie would tell you about his school year. Charlie could feel it too it seemed, for after the first year he never did speak of it again. Not to you.

"A good agent… A good leader..."

When you were twenty three you started at Quantico. Your mother nearly had a heart attack when you told her you were going to be an FBI agent. Charlie was so proud of you. It was all he'd talk about for a week.

It was then that we almost really did lose you. Your calls became more and more infrequent, until they didn't come at all. You never wanted to speak to Charlie then.

It hurt him more than you'll ever know. I thought that the two of you would never reconcile.

Then, six years ago, you mother was diagnosed with cancer. You came home. But within a year and a half it became terminal. Charlie couldn't deal. The last three months of her life he spent in the garage madly scribbling away at that equation.

You never forgave him for that.

"He died doing the right thing…"

Now you never will.

What do you say to a parent about their dead son?

Nothing at all. Because no word in the world could bring a dead son back.


Lo es terminado

A/N: Watching Uncertainty Principle last night while doing the dishes inspired this. It's been a long time since I've written a one-shot. I miss them.