Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! If I owned Harry Potter I'd be rich and I'm not, so... I obviously don't own it. DON'T SUE ME!

Ok... so my sister and I thought this up while disscussing the fourth Harry Potter movie and the new Dumbledore. We thought it was funny how he strangled Harry and decided to co-write a fic about it. Please excuse and spelling/grammar mistakes, my computer doesn't have spell check.

If you want to see her work, her name is SquirrelGirl13. But she only has Danny Phantom work on there at the moment...

...poor sap. (Gets smacked) OW!

Now to begin our fic entitled...


(Dramatic music plays)

Dumbledore sat in his office, pondering.

He had just recently attempted to strangle the one and only Harry Potter, and... well...

He found it enjoyable!

He didn't know why. Maybe he liked the surging feeling of power behind bringing someone to the brink of death. Or maybe he was just insane. Either way... it was a hell of a lot of fun.

He gave a slight chuckle.

Just then, there was a soft tap at his window. The senile old man snapped his head up.

An owl was purched on his windowsill.

It was a very small owl and, when the man reluctantly rose and let the bird in, it started chattering away in an annoying, high-pitched squak that drove the professor mad.

"Silence please," He said softly to the little thing.

The owl just kept on twittering.

"I said quiet!" he exclaimed, but, the bird wouldn't shut up.

Suddenly, it was quiet and the man found his hand had somehow found its way to the tiny owl's throat.

A small smile played on his lips.

...Oh yes, this was fun...

He suddenly decided that he wanted to get something to eat, and, seeing as it was near enough to lunch, walked out of his office towards the Great Hall.

Unfortunetly, his way down the steps was blocked by a boy who had gotten stuck in one of the vanishing staircases.

That boy was Neville Longbottom.

Now, normaly, Dumbledore would have helped the unlucky boy out of his predicament. But his new found insanity insisted he do otherwise. So, he bent down to the boy's level and said in his calmest voice,

"You're in my way."

And with that he strangled the young student to death.

He was enjoying his day so far.

However, a sharp gasp from behind made him spin quickly.

"Albus, what on earth are you doing?" Profesor McGonagall exclaimed in that annoying shocked voice of hers.

The man wiped out his wand and levitated the old woman in the air.

"I am mearly having fun my dear Minerva."

And then, he pulled a Darth Vader, and choked her to death with some unseen power.

Good times. Good times.

And so he skipped merily down to the Great Hall for his well deserved meal.

After lunch, as he was on his way back to his lavish office with all the funny pictures that talked to him, he bumped into a certan greasy-haired potions teacher and nearly lost his balance.

"Headmaster, there you are. We seem to have a killer on the loose. He has already taken the lives of two people and I'm afraid he will strike again soon" Snape said in his usual monotone voice.

Dumbledore weighed his options a brief moment before abruptly taking action.

"YOU KNOW TOO MUCH!" he hollared and siezed the...man?... by the neck and hoisted him into the air with inhuman strength. But, before he could finish the job, he noticed young Harry had stopped in his tracks in the middle of the hall.

Looking from Dumbledore to Snape, eyes wide, he took two steps back, turned on his heal, and walked away.

'I would kill him but I need him to defeat Voldemort' he though to himself, still holding a struggling Snape in the air, 'Aw who cares? I'll just defeat the stupid man myself'

Then, he killed Snape and headed off in the direction Harry went.

It wasn't long untill he found the boy talking to one of his little friends, what was his name...Ralf, Ramond, Roon... was it Roon?

Oh, who gives a shit?

"Oh Harry!" he called, strideing down the hall as Harry froze with fear, "May I have a quick word with you?"

"Uhh..." Harry shot Ron a nervous glance, "O-Ok."

"DIE!" The headmaster cried as he again lifte his victim into the air.

The young boy started sputtering and struggled against the old man's vice grip, attempting to pry away his long fingers.

"Hey! Let go of the man I love!" Ron shouted at the top of his lungs as he lunged towards the man who should have been in the loony bin long before now.

Both Harry and Dumbledore were so taken aback that both completly stopped moving. Which gave the redhead a chance to ram his head into Dumbledore's stomach, causing the man to releace Harry.

Ron then socked his headmaster across the face and wiped out his wand (No, not that wand you sick people!). HE fired a curse at Dumbledore and sent the old teacher hurtling over the banister and plumeting down five stories of the school before landing with an... well... it was sort of both a crunch and a splat... they couldn't pinpoint the sound exactly... but anyway, Dumbledore was dead.

Ron turned to Harry, who was sitting on the floor in shock.

"Did... did you really mean that?" he asked.

Ron's ears went red. "N-No, of...of course not."

Harry gave him a look and Ron turned away.

"Anyway, Harry... Hey... Have you seen Pig anywhere?"


Hehehe! That was fun!

Just press the little button and review please! Flame if you want, they're funny to read.

I must be off, lots of sleeping to do. Tah!