Fireheart stared as Spottedleaf's body lay in front of him, his veins pulsing with anger.

Spottedleaf was dead, her beautiful fur matted with blood and scars.

Fireheart looked away, eyes flaming, and his fur bristling.

He couldn't help that his claws were coming in and out in defiance.

She was dead!

That repeated over and over again in his mind

Who could have killed a medicine cat? They were sacred.

It made his blood run cold to think about it.

A cat who would kill the cat that had the most connection with StarClan.

Their heart was black, he thought.

The rain drips cold

down the steaming mountain

all is lost

none is found

his heart aches for the scent once more

of the sweet Spottedleaf

the dream of his life

he lost her

he couldn't help it

his eyes weep for her and his soul hurts

he gazes onto the horizon, knowing the previous one was the last

to be with her

flesh tearing from the bone

soul being sucked by the death

icy grip closing in on him

he couldn't live without her

Fireheart padded out of the den, his green eyes dull in grief for Spottedleaf. Thoughts scarred his mind, the more he thought about her. He sat down, eating a mouse with no taste by the warrior den. The warrior den...

She wasn't a warrior.

Spottedleaf was a medicine cat.

Their relationship wouldn't work out anyway.

Your loyalties are divided

from your love

which to follow

is so hard to decide

love is one thing

destiny, another

she chose Fireheart

but the end came for her too soon

Was she being punished for loving Fireheart?

No, it was just a battle

at least one cat dies in every battle

but her

why her

Fireheart sighed, flopping onto his back. He sighed, closing his eyes. Blackness formed and he wondered whether she was seeing darkness or their heavenly warrior ancestors, StarClan.

What was StarClan like? Starry? Cloudy? He wanted to find out.

Fireheart wanted to die, just to be with her.

My love for you, Spottedleaf

is worth my life

I would give anything

I would fight every cat in the forest

just to feel your wonderful scent wrap around me

I'm lost without you

He wanted to wail aloud but the cats around him, dreary and wounded, looked like they needed no more sorrow and drama.

Fireheart sighed deeply again, slipping out of camp to sit by the river.

Its icy, cold, flowing waters flowed by.

He wanted to drown himself.

He wanted to be with her again

he even wanted to die

but would their freedom be limited in StarClan?

Would they still be apart?

Medicine cat or not

love was still for each other

they couldn't bear

to see each other through blind mirrors

of sorrow and dread

they needed each other

Fireheart was about to plunge into the river, when he heard a sweet voice that calmed him.

"Fireheart?"

Fireheart looked around slowly and Sandstorm was padding toward him. Her beautiful, pale ginger coat shone even in the misty dusk of this dreaded day.

Her soft green eyes gazed upon him, "Are you alright? We've been looking for you at camp." Her eyes studied him until Fireheart replied, "I'm fine. Thanks, Sandstorm"

He and her padded back to camp together until he realized that he had one more cat he cared for in the Clan, and that was Sandstorm.

Everyday I look at her

she's wonderful

Spottedleaf is still placed inside my heart

but Sandstorm is a cat like no other

I love her

she knows me

and understands my life has been scarred

she cares for me

she won't let a day go by without spending an hour with me

by my side

on the rainy days

she curls up beside me in my den

Sandpaw is my heart

and even though she's not Spottedleaf

even though she's not tortoiseshell like Spottedleaf

even though she has green eyes instead of amber

I still care for her

my soul is put into her

Spottedleaf told me not to be blind to Sandstorm forever

and I won't

I just wanted to say

thanks, Spottedleaf

for guiding me through my life as a leader

and thanks, Sandstorm

for being there for me always