Summary- Post Partings AU. Lore never made it to Chris'. After tragedy strikes Luke can't hold on, but Rory can't let go. Onesided JJ, eventual Lit.
Moving on Ain't so Easy
never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
– Keith Urban "Tonight I Want to Cry"
It was a beautiful day, a great day. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and the birds were singing. It was all wrong. It should have been overcast, cloudy, and dark. It should have been raining and the only sound the thunder crashing in the sky.
A large group, all dressed drably in black, surrounded a stone in the middle of green grass.
Richard Gilmore stood stiffly with an arm around his wife's, Emily's, shoulder. She had on a brave face, but if anyone watched her closely, they would see her dabbing impending tears that welled up in her eyes with a lacey handkerchief before they fell. Various occupants stood mournfully around, faces down cast.
All the crowd was silent expect for the unyielding sobs of Rory Gilmore. Her boyfriend, Logan, held her up by with an arm wrapped around her waist.
The reverend finished his prayer and the casket was lowered into the ground. It seemed to take forever, painfully forever. The only sounds, beside Rory's uncontrolled sobs, was the ironic chirping of birds.
Rory continued to weep aloud, making some almost flinch at the sight and sound of her. Of her cries, her tears, her pain. She was makeup-less, her eyes were red and puffy her hair lank.
The crowd began to disperse.
"Come on, Richard. We have to be at the house to welcome the guests," said Emily with the slightest waver in her tone.
Soon, only few were left. Rory collapsed to her knees on the ground, breath hitching in front of the grave stone which read:
Lorelai Victoria Gilmore
Beloved Daughter, Mother,
Fiance, and Friend
October 1968- June 2006.
Logan stood silently behind her, helpless. He glanced uncomfortably at Lane who nodded. The two lifted Rory to her feet and lead her to his car.
Only Luke remained. Throughout the service, ever since the accident, he had been impassive, detached. Emotions were beyond him. Neither tears nor screams could display the pain he felt inside.
He stood there, as a statue, just staring at the gravestone, trying to understand, trying to accept, trying to make it reality.
Luke was the last one to arrive at the wake. It was quiet, too quiet. Not how it should have been. This house, her house, used to be filled with the sounds of talking, laughter, music, and movies.
Lorelei wouldn't have wanted to have caused this. She would have wanted then to be happy remembering all the good times they had had together. The only tears should have been ones of laughter because of all the crazy things Lorelai had done in her life.
But no one dared speaking. No one dared joking. No one dared laughing. No one dared even crying because at the sight of Rory, they didn't think they had the right to.
Rory had already retired to her room and if you stood next to her door you could here the dieing sniffles.
Luke stood just inside the doorway, observing, but not daring to enter, at the risk of receiving a thousand condolences. So there he stood, neither in nor out. Neither in the kitchen nor the living room.
The guests left shortly after, Emily bidding them farewell at the door as they did. It was just too tense, too quiet, too daring. Luke evaded them by entering the kitchen.
Rory's room was silent now. Luke opened the door a crack to peer in. She was asleep. Luke had always heard that the sleeping were supposed to look peaceful, even angelic. Rory didn't. To Luke, she looked tortured. She must have cried herself to sleep.
Luke closed the door as Emily entered the kitchen. She began cleaning up.
"This place is such a mess," she complained. "There is no way I can finish it tonight, I'll have to hire someone tomorrow.
He glanced up at Luke, He was giving her an odd look that said, 'Is that all you care about right now?'
The Gilmore woman interpreted his look correctly. She sat down in a chair and sighed shakily.
"I didn't agree with most of the things Lorelai did," said Emily, staring at a random point on the table before her, "But that is because I wanted the best for her…she deserved the best. No matter how many times we fought I never, not even for a moment, stopped loving her."
A silence feel in the room. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but nor was it peaceful. It was just a silence.
"Richard's probably done fetching the car," She said, her tone gaining back it's previous strength as she stood.
"Emily," said Luke, as she was halfway out of the room. She turned to him. "Don't forget," he said, "To let yourself cry."
Luke wasn't sure how it happened, but Emily was now sobbing into his shoulder.
"No mother should ever have to bury her child," she cried.
In that moment Luke Danes and Emily Gilmore finally understood each other. Maybe understood was the wrong word. It was more like they were at peace with each other. The two people that had torn Lorelai apart. They knew they were sharing the same pain.
They were in agreement that nothing would ever be the same again.