A/N: Kinda depressing...

It happened one warm night in October. Zoey, Chase, and their two year old son, Christopher, were coming home from a late movie at the local drive-in theater. Zoey was driving her old 2000 cheve cavalier. She made quiet conversation with Chase as she drove through the dark roads.The baby was sleeping in the backseat. To get back to their house from the drive-in you need to go over the old railroad tracks. All of a sudden, the car started smoking and stopped, right there on the tracks. "Oh my gosh!" Zoey exclaimed. She thought quickly back to driver's education where she was told that if her car was to stop on top of the tracks, she should get out of the car with everyone and stay as far away back from the tracks as possible. Then call for help.

That's exactly what they did. Zoey and Chase unclicked their seatbelts and rushed out of the car slamming the doors behind them. Her heart sank when she saw the baby still asleep still in the back seat. Zoey didn't realize that she had hit the power lock button. She didn't realize she left the car key in the ignition. Ok, this is a bad situation but we can figure something out, Zoey told herself. Thoughts of hope and confidence vanished once she heard the deafening horn of the train. It was still really far away but it was fast. Zoey and Chase looked at each other, terror in both of their eyes. Chase sprinted toward the bushes, picked up a huge rock, and smashed the driver's seat window. Christopher was awake by then, screaming a piercing, hair raising scream. Once Chase hit the unlock button, Zoey scrambled for the door that the baby was it. She flung it open. The train was coming closer and closer. Zoey fumbled with the baby's car seat. She couldn't get the seatbelt undone. She didn't know why she couldn't do it. Her mind wasn't working right. Before she knew it the train was about 100 feet away. Chase shoved her out of the way to take over. She layed on the pavement, her ankle throbbing, helplessly watching her husband struggle with the car seat. He managed to get the seatbelt undone and lift the baby out of the seat but as he tried to rush back to Zoey, his foot got stuck in between the two metal bars. Zoey tried to go to him and help but he pleaded for her to stay back. She did as she was told and before she knew it, the train crashed into the small car making the loudest, unbearable sound she had heard in her entire life. A piece of debris flew at her and knocked her unconscious.

She had no memory of the accident when she awoke. Her mom was there the moment she opened her eyes, holding her hand. She looked at her, confused," Mom? What are you doing in my house?" Mrs. Brooks closed her eyes and gently shook her head. She couldn't bear to tell her. Zoey looked around the room and then at her foot, which was in a cast and throbbing. She gently touched her hand to her head and felt the big gash that had been wrapped up.

"What happened? Where's Chase? Where's Christopher? Where's my baby?" Zoey asked franticly.

"Zoey...they...there was an accident. Do you remember the train?" Her mom asked her gently stroking her arm.

Suddenly she felt very sick,"Zoey stay back!" Chase's voice echoed through her mind. She remembered the horrible noise and her baby's scream. She remembered."No,"Zoey whispered. It was just a dream. She knew that had to be just a dream. That couldn't have happened. Zoey refused to believe that it was real.

A gentle looking older man approached her bed an spoke softly to her, "Ms. Matthews I'm Dr.-"

"MRS. Matthews," Zoey interrupted the doctor testily.

"I'm so sorry," was all the doctor could say. He had never been good at breaking news to the patients like this," You had quite an accident. You're lucky to be alive."

"Where's Chase?" Zoey demanded. Deep down, she knew but she wanted a straight forward answer. No sugar coating it. No avoiding the horrible truth.

"He died, Zoey. The impact of the train killed him and Christopher. I'm so sorry," Her mom whispered tears dripping her face. Zoey reached for her mother and hugged her, sobbing. Why did this have to happen?

She couldn't sleep. The events of that night kept playing over and over in her head. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw the bright headlights in her face. Sometimes she would swear that she heard the baby crying and walked to his room to see an empty crib. Sometimes she'd wake up and reach for Chase who would be still sleeping beside her but he wasn't there either. She cried almost all the time, the littlest things triggering it. She felt so guilty. It was all her fault. She locked the keys in the car. Her car stopped on the tracks. She just sat and watched Chase and her son die and was too stupid to do anything about it. If only she had done something. If only this didn't happen. She was in a land of if onlys and why's. There were so many questions unanswered and it was killing her.

The wake was an enormous event. Almost 350 people came to say good-bye to her husband and child. She didn't want to see any of them. While they had the ceremony she went to the lobby and sat her mind empty and flowing with thoughts and memories at the same time. She wished the memories would just go away. Every wonderful memory just caused her more pain. Their lives at PCA, the day he shyly asked her out, the day he proposed over a candlelit dinner overlooking a terrific view of Chicago, their simple but sweet wedding, and the day that their beautiful son was born. It was all too painful thinking that when she would want to kiss him and hug him or just talk she couldn't.

"Hey," Nicole whispered. She sat down next to her friend. Following her was Michael, Logan, Dana, Lola, and Quinn. Zoey looked up at her friends and gave them a tight lipped smile. They had all stayed close even when they left PCA.

"Are you ok?" Lola asked gently. What a stupid question, Zoey thought. Of course she wasn't ok.

"What Lola means is," Dana looked around at her friends," We're here for you."

"Thanks," Zoey gave them a real smile that time. She lost alot, but she didn't lose it all.

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

A/N: Ok. Sorry for the not so happy fun story but in the past week two people I know have died. The first- my grandma to cancer. The second my friend's son. He drowned. Life isn't always PCA perfect, if you know what I mean.

This fanfic is really for me. Closure,I guess. Review if you wish.

P.S. The part of the song at the end is "There You'll Be" By Faith Hill.