I know you all want me to continue my other stories, but I've got Flatland on the brain. (Finished today.) Don't sue. Just something cooked up by my weird imagination saying that Flatland exists on a piece of paper.


A. Square had long hoped for yet another glimpse into the strange world of Spaceland. Alas, now all he could do was languish in his dank prision cell. He slowly wandered around, feeling hopeless of everything. Why was he even born a Square? Why could he not have been born a wonderful Sphere, or even a Cube?

Suddenly, the earth began to shake.

Oh great. Just what I need.


"Goo goo ga ga. Pwetty picture," said Albert. He poked his finger at the moving images. "TV." He then dropped the paper and waddled off to find a pair of his mama's sharp cutty things.
Just as suddenly as the shaking began, it stopped. A. Square was curious now. What had happened? He felt dizzy...He leaned back against a wall for support, when suddenly, he saw Flatland splitting open right before his eyes! A Line was rapidly slicing the land before him! He felt shock.

"Excuse me, madam, but on what terms do you-gah!" The woman had sliced through the area right behind him, and torn a large piece right through his book! His work! And now, she was coming back for a last stroke! Why, she was forming a square prison of an abyss about him! But why? For what reason? He couldn't understand. And just as suddenly, he felt himself rising. Upward, not Northward. Just as the Sphere had said! Had the Line been in truth some wonderful Spaceland deity who had come to save him? He slowly started to move around on the small piece of Flatland that had been allocted to him, but then decided to consider sliding off the edge. However, the instant he did that, he discovered a new direction of the Third Dimension. Downward, not Southward.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed.


Albert was enraptured. The little shapes not only moved, they even slipped over the edges of the paper! He clapped his slightly cuthands with delight, and grabbed the square before it hit the ground and smushed. He had already glued the background to the paper, even though it was messy work. Now, he placed the square back on the background, and laughed with delight. He then scribbled a TV frame around the whole thing, and wrote in big letters "I LUV (smudge) YU MOM. U BTTR THN (scribble) TV."'

"Mommy love it!" He then folded it up and walked off to find his mom.


A. Square was panicking. Was he really in Spaceland? Or was this the Fourth Dimension? Now, it was all dark. He didn't dare move; it would be hard besides. He sighed. The Sphere had never told him about anything like this. He wished he was back in Flatland. Well, he was on a part of it, anyways.
"Why, what a delightful surprise!" Mrs. Yenna (I know, weird last name) cried with delight. "Can this be true? I will frame it, so that the square does not slip over the edge." At this, she nudged A. Square back onto his TV "screen." "It will have very stiff and tight glass. There'll just be enough room for it to move around." She giggled. "Hey, Tom, come look at what Albert made!"
The disappearance of A. Square and appearance of a terrible irregularity in Flatland scared many of the inhabitants. Several decided to move to a different region of Flatland.Various irregularities and disappearances, however, made life in Flatland an altogether unpleasant subject.
"Wow, Albert, you were right! This is so cool! I want to get some of those lines for a special card!"

"Told ya so, Joey. Here's your tool for removing them. Watch they don't slip off."

Albert handed over the pair of sisscors to his friend, and smiled. How had he ignored this wonderful sheet of paper all these years?

The End

PS: Not meant to scare in any way, shape, or form.