AN. So yeah it took me forever to update! Sorry about that I was working full time through my summer holidays! Then being back at collage just took up all my time! But I'm back on track now! Hopefully the next few chapters will arrive a lil quicker!

Neela entered the locker room almost bumping into someone on there way out. "Sorry!" she said looking up into the face of… Ray!

"Its alright" he said giving her a small smile, although she noticed although his lips portrayed a smile it didn't extend to his eyes.

"Hey Neela?" he said throwing caution to the wind "errm it seems we haven't spoke for ages… You fancy getting a coffee or….. Something?" Neela looked down taking a sudden interest in her shoes.

She chanced a quick glance into his eyes, and saw the melancholy. It upset her so much to see him like that, but what could she do, she daren't take a chance on him. She couldn't risk losing him it would kill her. It wasn't that she didn't believe he felt something for her… but she knew Ray, he had a new girl every week. He didn't really love her, he just wanted something he couldn't have and as soon as he'd got her. He'd get bored and drop her for some blonde bimbo with a big smile and even bigger boobs! No she couldn't risk that. It would hurt her more than Michaels death ever did. Thinking that made her feel guilty, another reason why she could never be with ray! She had been dreaming about him the moment her husband died, and she dreamed about him that night after she'd found out! How sick was that she just found out her husband was dead and she was dreaming about another man! It consumed her with guilt! Michael was such a great guy... He was perfect…..so why didn't she love him like she loved Ray? Who was so far from perfect. But maybe that was it! He had so many faults, but they made him into the guy she loved!

Neela suddenly realised that she'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't replied to Ray. She could his gaze burning into her she had to reply……

Ray watched her carefully, seeing so much sadness in her eyes it broke his heart to see her like that, but there was nothing he could do she'd decided to push him out her life! And that was fine by him! Who was he kidding it wasn't fine it wasn't fine at all it was far from fine, he never knew love could be so unfine, god that wasn't even a word! In all those soppy chick flicks she'd made him watch it was always something really amazing that made everyone smile! Ok so they all had there little "dramas" But there was always a happy ending. With Neela, he was certain there would never be a happy ending; she just didn't feel for him what he felt for her.

Ray realised he'd just been staring at her; he wasn't sure for how long. It was always easy to loose track of time when looking at her.

"errrm Ray" she said softly "I don't know I've got a lot on, I've not really got time to….. Well you understand what it's like working in a hospital…."

"Hey Mayday! We still on for to night?" Tony Gates interrupted giving Neela a quick wink as he walked dashed past with a trauma. Neela turned away from Ray not wanting to see the look she knew he'd be giving her.

"Oh I understand" He said his voice deadpan not wanting to hide the pain he was feeling with in. "I understand perfectly" And with that he barged past her and walked away as quickly as possible, wiping the tears away from his eyes as they did, hoping no one would see, and he wouldn't have given away his feelings.

Neela sighed and carried on to the locker room. Abby stood at Admit and shook her head, she had just witnessed the little moment between her two friends and it had just confirmed to her, what she already knew. That they were both stupid fools, who were madly in love but not prepared to do anything about it! She knew if just one of them admitted how they felt it would all come out.

Once safely inside the locker room Neela let the tears ran down her cheeks. Why? Why did she have to make such a bloody mess of everything! She closed her eyes and slumped to the floor. She sat there silently for a few moments just letting all her pain overwhelm her, and then she collected herself together and put back on her calm sensible Neela persona. As she was getting up she noticed a small white envelope on the floor, as she picked it up she noticed her name on the envelope in.. it couldn't be… Rays handwriting?

Well there you go! Not much action in this one just a few thoughts and feelings. Please R&R all opinions are appreciated! The more the better! (hint hint!) hehe!

Hope you enjoyed it!

Amy

XxX