Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Kingdom Hearts games; they belong solely to Square Enix and Mickey Mouse belongs to Disney.
Notes: I wrote this after seeing the amazing picture by rubyd in the khayoi group on livejournal. I felt the title would fit considering this is a fic about Riku's transformation into 'Ansem'in KHII.
Defeat swelled bitter within his heart. He had failed in his mission to retrieve the Nobody. To make defeat worse it had been Sora's Nobody. Just another reminder that he would never be stronger than the younger boy. But that did not matter now. The childish ideals he had held about strength and grandeur were nothing in comparison to what had happened.
What he had caused to happen.
By giving into the darkness he had betrayed Sora and Kairi. He had allowed the darkness to seduce him with sweet promises. Promises of strength and greatness.
Only to be poisoned by it.
His body had been possessed by Ansem. No Xehanort's Heartless. A revelation he knew now. His heart and mind had been raped by the darkness. And he had let it happen willingly. For power. Always for power. But even that power had failed him. He had been defeated by Sora. Goofy, loveable Sora.
After defeating Ansem in Castle Oblivion he had seen the boy again. Locked in the pod that would restore his memory, so Namié had said. And there he had sworn to help him. That this time he would not fail or be swayed by the darkness.
Now he was mot so sure. He was not strong enough to retrieve Sora's Nobody and without him Sora would never be whole again.
And here he was now. Bitter, defeated, useless. He was not strong enough to save Sora. Never would be.
He sensed it then, in the back of his mind. The darkness whispering, coaxing him to accept it, that it would give him strength. Oh, how tempting it was! Perhaps he had been wrong. Lied to himself. He was a create tainted by darkness with no hope of ever embracing anything but darkness.
And so he let it consume him.
Like a surge the darkness flooded his body. Changing. Consuming. Morphing.
And he screamed. Not from the pain. But from the knowledge that he was weak. That one again he had given into the darkness. And this time there would be no turning back. Not because the darkness would not release him. But because he would not allow himself to repent. He was doing this for Sora. Afterwards he would disappear forever. He had already ruined the lives of his friends.
He never deserved forgiveness.